How to Navigate Vaginal Depth to Maximise Sexual Pleasure
No two vaginal canals are the same, everything from its length, size and shape can differ from person to person

There used to be no greater disappointment for me than getting down to business with a man only to find out he had a bigger than average penis. From that point onwards I couldn’t relax, and my anxiety had already begun to peak. All I could think about was the pain and discomfort I was about to go through. Though another part of me is optimistic about the challenge. I think, this time will be different! Though it never was. It always ended up with me wincing through doggy, using one hand on their waist trying to cushion the impact of each blow.
The average vaginal canal isn’t static. Its length can change throughout the day though it is roughly around 3 to 6 inches long. When a person becomes sexually aroused, the canal grows longer. This causes your cervix and uterus to lift up and away from the canal so that penetration will be more comfortable. As with all things, no two vaginal canals are the same. Everything from the length, size and shape differs from person to person.
With the average erect penis length being just over 5 inches, it is about 33% longer than the average vagina, which is why some people report discomfort if their partner is on the bigger side.
Though I have never been tested, I don’t think my issues stem from having a condition such as vaginismus, a tilted uterus or MRKH etc. I believe my canal is just on the shorter side. Which means whenever I have sex with someone well endowed, there will be times where they hit my cervix.
Now, some people love it when their cervix gets some love, but I am not one of them. The pain puts a downer on things, and from that point, I can not relax.
However, it is not all doom and gloom. There are certain things one can do to help when getting naughty in the bedroom! Here are the ones that have been working for me.
Lube
Lube is one of the Gods of sex. It is an all-purpose magic that can help alleviate several issues. Regarding sex, lube reduces friction, making penetration more comfortable. Though I may try lather some on my life to see if it can heal and repair that too!
Relax and take it slow
I hate to be that guy. I feel like anytime someone tells me to relax, it causes me to panic more. But with this, it works. Feeling panicked or anticipating discomfort will cause you to tense up your muscles. Want to guess what makes penetration harder? You got it, tense muscles.
So take your time. Do some breathing exercises (I promise they will mistake these for passionate heavy breaths), communicate and take your time. I like to procrastinate with some foreplay. The arousal from this produces natural lubricant and can also increase the length of your vaginal canal.
Cannabis
Cannabis has been found to alleviate muscle tightness and provide relief for some people. Animal research has even found that marijuana calms muscle spasticity. Though it has never been tested on vaginal discomfort, I can say from experience that it helps. However, I am a sample size of one, so scientifically my test is incredibly invalid, but I’ve found that it also can make the sex incredibly enjoyable.
Try different positions
My most significant piece of advice is: stop doing doggy. I know you like it. I like it too, but you’re just hurting yourself!
It took some time for me to let doggy go, but I am better for it. Positions like missionary are perfect because you can control the depth of penetration. There are loads of others you can try so experiment! Make it an adventure.
Pelvic floor exercises
The vaginal canal is made of muscles which means you can work it out. So when you can, do some pelvic floor exercises. They are super discrete, and you can find lots of information online to help you on your way.
Sex therapy and medical treatment
If your problems persist, then definitely get a quick examination. In some cases, you may have one of the underlining conditions I mentioned above or even an infection.
I am lucky in the sense that my discomfort is rarely ever at a 10 (though I’ve hit this once or twice). I still can feel some apprehension when a guy is well endowed, but these days I’m not shy about saying I want to take it slow.
All of the guys I’ve been with have been very understanding — they like being told they’re too big for you. So communicate. Sex should not be painful!
One major positive — I rarely ever go on top now. So who is really winning?
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