How To Navigate Life’s Tough Circumstances

Focus on hope and the big picture

I walked into my wife, Gabrielle’s room, before lunchtime and saw her not in her wheelchair but in bed. This did not sound good. That meant she was too tired to sit up. My wife is living in a stroke rehab facility. When I talked to her she could only whisper and I did not understand what she said.

In my treat basket, I had grapes and rock melon for Gabrielle. I tried feeding her but she took a long time to chew. She was very tired. I also realized she ran out of Kiwi fruits, something that is vital for her bowel health. Normally I help feed her lunch on a Sunday but I told the nurse that I had to go home to bring Kiwi fruits to Gabrielle.

On my way home, I sensed that Sunday was not going to be a good day for us.

Three-quarters of an hour later, I was back in her room. To my relief, Gabrielle had more energy to talk. I fed her the remaining grapes and rock melon. She enjoyed that before I tucked her into bed for her afternoon nap.

When I went home, I learned something significant today. Life is full of plenty of challenging circumstances, many of which we have no control over, I got to focus on the big picture and see beyond the circumstances.

What happened before was I saw a huge mountain before me with Gabrielle’s health. Instead of staying in the valley and feeling exhausted, I need to keep climbing it. It is the climbing that gives me strength and endurance. I must hold on to the hope that with every step I climb, I will reach the top. The view at the top will be worth it.

Later on that afternoon, I had two of my Ironman 70.3 teammates visiting. We have our race coming up in two weeks and was great to catch up with each other and check in the logistics before and on race day. It was a healthy distraction to me.

When they left, I reflected on how my last week went. I had a week off and was not a holiday. I had three jobs to do.

Family

My brother and sister-in-law came over from Sydney to visit me and our aging parents. Apart from family meals, the first three days were spent on a long-term plan to look after our aging parents.

Colonoscopy

The next three days were about my preparation for my colonoscopy. I had a bleed last August. I was under the pump with the stress of dealing with my wife’s deteriorating health, my aging parents’ needs and work.

I had a long history of stress-related irritable bowel. I had another bleeding episode fifteen years ago and was clear of any serious illness. This time my bowel cramps continued for a long time. I was prescribed a muscle relaxant and it helped with the symptoms. Maybe the knowledge I built during my work did not help me, I thought I might have colon cancer. It would be awkward to investigate my tumor and talk to the oncologist about my treatment options!

The whole bowel preparation was much simpler and more comfortable than I experienced before. My endoscopist and the nurses were very helpful. Once I was given the sedative, I was out. When I woke up the procedure was done.

I have a high metabolic rate. Without real food for two days was a nightmare. It was a very welcoming scene when I saw the nurse bring food and coffee for me. When my sister-in-law (she is a surgical theater nurse) arrived, my doctor also brought a report to me. He said it was clear. There was no tumor. What I needed to do was to continue to take my muscle relaxant. It was such a relief, thank God!

I can now focus on learning to respond better to my circumstances. I am very grateful to my brother and sis-in-law. They took me in and out of the endoscopy clinic.

Reflecting

After resting for a day, I got back to my run training. With my health now clear I pushed myself and I ran faster. I am getting ready for the Ironman 70.3 team triathlon.

So what did I learn from last week?

Focus on hope, the big picture, and not get bogged down by our circumstances.

· Gabrielle’s health: Take one day at a time. I am here to love her.

· My aging parents care: Prepare as much as we can. Deal with one circumstance at a time.

· Work stress: People who choose to understand our vision will follow, those who don’t, it is up to them to choose to stay or go.

Before I part, last Saturday, I read an amazing article by 🇳🇴Annelie. She completed a triathlon at age 69 after her health challenge. Annelie made my day.