How To Master Your Emotions In 95 Words By Rumi

Welcome your hurt like a cherished house guest.

Rumi is a master wordsmith of wisdom. His poem ‘The Guest House’ is about welcoming and honoring the vast array of emotions we experience as humans. Fittingly, when I first read it, I was so touched, that it almost brought me to tears.

This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

— ‘The Guest House’ by Rumi

Only 95 words, but each is a thing of beauty and depth. Let’s dig into each line.

“This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.”

Rumi uses the metaphor of a guest house to symbolize the vastness of the human experience and the infinite potential each day holds to witness something unexpected. Or, as Rumi calls it, a “new arrival.”

Note the word “guest” here. This speaks to the impermanence nature of being human and that everything we experience in life and life itself is only temporary.

“A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.”

These “new arrivals” are the unexpected thoughts and emotions we experience at any given moment. And just like the nature of our existence, our thoughts and emotions are only temporary.

Rumi tells us to view our emotions as mere fleeting “visitors” to our experience that will soon dissipate and leave us instead of latching onto them and identifying with them like we often do.

This notion ties in nicely with the 90-Second Rule from Neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. She often explains how any emotional reaction takes about 90-seconds to fully flush through our bodies and dissolve. In other words, the feelings of any emotion only last about 90-seconds to run their course. Talk about temporary.

“Welcome and entertain them all!”

Short and simple: we need to welcome and accept all of our emotions. The word “entertain” tells us to “make friends” with the wide array of emotions we can experience as humans. It might sound cliche or overly simple, but we do this through mindfulness: we recognize our feelings and allow them to do their thing as they run through our system and fill our experience.

This is in stark contrast to what we typically do in denying and bottling up our feelings.

If we go back to Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s 90-second rule, this means, through mindfulness, we can witness and feel that entire 90-second process of an emotion happening inside our bodies.

Rumi has more to add to this. Keep it coming Rumi.

“Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably.”

I mean really, wow! It’s almost unfair that one human being can write so beautifully.

Here Rumi is telling us: that beyond just allowing our emotions to transpire, we should also treat even the greatest of hardships poised to bring our life down to its studs (a.k.a. our guest house) with warmth and love.

Every emotion demands respect and deserves to take its rightful place as part of our humanity. Even the fiercest bout of depression that can bring us to our knees holds nobility and grace.

For one, emotions are a beautiful aspect of the human experience. They are integral to this thrilling adventure our souls are on as it travels through this physical plane.

Plus, there is something greater happening behind the scenes. Tell them Rumi.

“He may be clearing you out for some new delight.”

Two simple words: Beautiful. Destruction.

In his book, The Code of the Extraordinary Mind, Vishen Lakhinai refers to the periods of struggle and chaos we face in life as a “beautiful destruction.” Essentially, this serves as a “clearing out” of what no longer aligns with our highest self so something greater can be ushered in. That something is the “new delight” Rumi is referring to.

This same idea can be applied when we experience the darkest of emotions. We most likely need to endure these dark emotions so the light can enter. Physical reality is a world of duality — so you cannot experience yourself as the light without experiencing yourself as darkness.

Neale Donald Walsch explains this best:

“Behold the darkness, yet curse it not. That the moment of your greatest darkness may yet become your grandest gift.”

Here’s another gem from Rumi that echoes this sentiment:

“The wound is where the light enters.”

Psychologist Susan David puts her own spin on these ideas in her famous Ted Talk on emotional courage by saying:

“Tough emotions are part of the contract of life. You don’t get to have a meaningful career or raise a family or leave the world a better place without stress and discomfort. ”

“The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.”

Here’s the real kicker: We should not only welcome our dark emotions with kindness and reverence but also give them the star-studded red-carpet treatment.

This is about surrendering to the present moment and trusting the path before you. “Meet them at the door laughing,” tells us we are safe to surrender to these feelings with strength and courage and maybe even with confidence.

When an unannounced guest shows up at our house, it will initially make us uncomfortable, but what if we greeted them with a smile?

What if we did the same when shame, overwhelm, or even rage showed up on our doorstep?

Rumi tells us we should swing the front door open with a giant smirk adorned on our faces and embrace whoever is there in the loving arms of our awareness.

Why?

Because deep down you have the scoop on this pain. You are mindful. You are not fooled by this pain, and instead, you are wise to its secret.

And what’s that?

Take it away Rumi.

“Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”

I have a personal mantra for this: Everything that is happening right now is happening for your greatest good.

When we are able to feel grateful for our pain and struggles because we know they are teaching us valuable lessons so we can grow, it is the mark of true wisdom.

Everything in life is about expanding your consciousness and stepping further into the next level of your potential. Pain. Hurt. Suffering. Fear. These are some of our greatest teachers to help us transform.

For every person who stabbed you in the back… For every broken heart… For every time you wanted to hide and shrink… Love all of it For the wisdom seeking to emerge And the opportunity it offers you to live larger.

Bottom line: even a toothache has merit in your personal and spiritual growth.

When we view everything in life through this lens, we begin to understand that all of our feelings and emotions are one of our greatest assets.

As Rumi says, they are all guides sent from beyond.

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