How to Master a Romantic Time in the Bathtub

It is not about ‘how’ but ‘who’

Do you remember the iconic scene in Friends where Chandler and Monica finally got together and drank champagne in the bathtub before Joey barged in and asked about food? Does taking a bath together seem romantic?

Think again! The reality of sharing a bathtub is this: both of you wiggle a combination of two bodies and eight limbs awkwardly. The foamy water makes movement more difficult than usual, and there are a lot of ‘sorry’ and ‘ouch’. It’s more likely than not that you will come out of the bathtub either bruised, embarrassed, or traumatized.

No matter how many drops of relaxing lavender oil is used, you rarely come out of the tub feeling relaxed and romantic. That’s until I know the secret to master a romantic time in the tub.

It takes trust and ease to experiment

Mechanically, sexual intercourse is quite easy once you get the hang of it. Insert the relevant appliance or body part, move laboriously until one or both of you come, you can probably do this with almost anybody. It is the experimental and emotional side that’s tricky.

I hope I’m not the only one who needs to feel comfortable before advancing into adventurous sex positions. Things like showing my butthole for doggy style or being lifted up against the wall and have sex standing up take courage and communication.

Anything experimental includes the risk of failing or making mistakes, and sexual experiments especially require trust and ease so that we can laugh about it when it goes wrong. For example, can you both just laugh about it if you are so bad at talking dirty and end up making it more jokey than sexy? Or do you feel more self-conscious than ever before?

Bathing together is the same. As much as you want to make it sexy and romantic, you and your partner will inevitably give instructions like, “move your arm this way for my foot to get under your armpit!” or “my shoulders are cold now, scoop aside”!

It is actually an advanced and complicated form of titillation, especially because it doesn’t always lead to actual coitus. With the aid of candles and sensual aroma, it also shows our vulnerable and emotional sides.

You must choose wisely who can get into the bathtub with you

Believe it or not, it’s a defining moment of your relationship. If you feel awkward in the tub and can’t wait to get out, you aren’t ready and it can damage your relationship and self-esteem.

After at least 10 minutes of “faff”: adjusting the temperature, trying to settle on spooning, hugging, sitting at the opposite end, getting up and sitting back down. Alas! You and your partner finally settle down facing each other. The water ripple peacefully, and you have a naked, silent moment of looking into each others’ eyes through the steamy air. If you get to this point, that’s sweet and lovely.

But the peace doesn’t always last long. From my experience, when I saw my round belly rising and falling along with the movement of the water, our legs opening wide and bodies exposed, I started to feel self-conscious about my body again. Luckily with my current boyfriend, he noticed my tension, gave me compliments and held my hands warmly. Finally, my monkey mind calmed down to enjoy the present moment.

It was a definitive moment for me, to feel appreciated, secure and trust this relationship completely. I don’t always have to show my most attractive side to him and in his eyes, I’m the most beautiful person, so is he to me.

Helping each other out of the bathtub, lovingly wrap and dry each other with a towel. It was the first time I bathed with someone and felt good. It’s this difficult and I’m not exaggerating. I’m so happy to have found this man to bath and experiment with.

Risky to trusting

To all who have a tendency to feel insecure, especially with their body image, bathing together is not as calming as an experience than most imagine. Whilst it’s a made-up story, remember how many years Monica and Chandler have known each other before ending up in a tub together.

The fact that the time in the tub is usually a romantic foreplay, it is more emotional than sex itself. The emotional is raw, the technique is advanced and both of you try to be the best you can to keep the experience romantic and peaceful. It’s difficult.

But at the same time, it’s the most beautiful thing. I hope you pick the right person to get into the tub with and have a fabulous time!

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The relevant clip from Friends: