How to Manifest What We Desire While Enjoying the Process
Manifestation and alignment can be more fun than expected
I remember how confusing it was when I first learned about manifestation. Back then, when I started my spiritual journey and learning, I was barely familiar with concepts such as the law of attraction, alignment, and how to attract what we want into our lives.
I’ve watched many YouTube videos and read many articles, and yet manifestation techniques were still so confusing. How do we think of what we desire and detach from it at the same time? How do I actually trust the process?
The key difference: obsessing versus fantasizing
A year ago, there was something I was obsessively desiring. I wanted it so much that I would often think of how I wanted things to unfold, and picture what I could do to make things happen. While taking action is important for manifestations, becoming too fixated on it to the point of forcing things not only screwed things up but also caused a lot of internal suffering.
On the other hand, I’ve noticed how there were things I desired that actually came to me effortlessly. For example, I wanted a bath pillow, and it actually came to me from a books subscription as a gift, where I least expected.
The difference between the two scenarios was actually simple: in the first one, I was obsessing over my desire, while in the second one I was fantasizing about what I desire.
Fantasizing, opposite to obsessing, feels good.
When I obsessed with what I desired, I was constantly thinking of how I did not have it and planned 123456 ways on how I could make it happen. When I fantasized about the bath pillow, I enjoyed picturing one while taking a nice warm bubbly bath.
In the first scenario, I was often miserable. In the second scenario, I was having fun and enjoyed my fantasies.
Whether it is a bath pillow, or wanting to have a loving relationship, or anything else, the key difference to actually manifest my desires is how I visualize it. Besides the bath pillow, I also ended up manifesting other desires including love. Whenever I fantasized about love, I pictured how it might feel like to be cherished passionately through a relationship, that I gradually opened myself to love and connection.
Detaching from the outcome by having fun
If we are too fixated on how we want things to unfold, we might get in the way of how the Universe actually unfolds what we desire for us. For example, when we desire to be loved and cherished, but we fixate the process of this desire by insisting on wanting it to happen with a specific person, and how, we might block the way of the Universe actually bringing our wish-fulfillment through some other way or even someone else entirely.
Instead of obsessing over the specific ways we want our wish fulfilled, we can actually fantasize about how it feels if our wish comes true.
It can be hard to shift this perspective, but if we take a moment to think about it, what if there are other alternate scenarios where our wish can be fulfilled? It can actually be fun to fantasize about other possibilities.
For example, if I want to be loved and cherished in a relationship, instead of obsessing over wanting it to happen with a specific crush or type of person, I can actually fantasize how good it can feel in different possible ways or people. The only limit is my imagination, and exploring other possibilities through fantasies can be lots of fun.
Aligning ourselves with our desires energetically
To be able to have what we desire into our lives, we have to be energetically aligned. For example, if we want a loving, healthy relationship, then we have to be loving and healthy ourselves to be able to have such relationships. This means having to do the inner work and evolve and be closer to what we envision, to attract what we desire. Because what we feel attracted to also needs to feel attracted to us to come together.
But what we want also wants us. What if our wanting is actually a product of our gradual alignment towards what resonates with us? What if as we evolve, our alignment becomes clearer through the form of our desires?
Before meeting my current love, I often fantasized about how good it might feel to be passionately cherished and to have a deeper emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical connection with someone. I wasn’t fixating these fantasies on someone specific, and my fantasies were random and enjoyable. As I fantasized, I believed that I deserve that kind of love and allowed myself to enjoy every bit of these fantasies. Then as he came into my life, we’ve found out how amazingly both of us ticked on many boxes of the checklists we envisioned our future partners to have.
Perhaps we manifested each other as we fantasized without being detached to any specific outcome. Perhaps as we evolved as individuals, our desires were just signs that we were actually aligning with each other gradually.
But both of us had to grow and become who we are to align and have the kind of relationship we have. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t go through the challenges I went through and grown, and the same applies to him. And if we weren’t us, we might not have aligned with each other, at least in the way we aligned.
Also, because I evolved into who I am, what I desired in love also changed and aligned more with what the relationship actually has to offer.
Experiencing even the obsession to align even more
We often hear how we should not obsess and just leave it to the Universe, which makes sense as we learn how to detach from the process and align ourselves energetically. However, attempts to avoid feeling the negative feelings of obsession can backfire, because the more we repress something, the more it surfaces and haunts us.
As hard as it is, these feelings actually have something to tell about ourselves. What’s below them might be a wound asking to be acknowledged and healed.
When I was obsessing over a desire, I was suffering because of the feeling of the lack of it. And deep down, what caused suffering was that I couldn’t believe that I actually deserved it, hence believed that it wouldn’t come to me.
As I dug deeper, I’ve found myself looking at my own insecurities. Do I not believe that I’m worthy of what I desire? Do I believe that I don’t deserve it?
If I simply attempt to avoid the negative feelings of obsession, I might miss out on what’s really surfacing from within that wants to be healed. And the more I try to avoid it, the louder it gets, even to the point of manifesting scenarios in the reality that would bring this wound to my attention.
Learning to let go is one of the hardest lessons in life, but letting go doesn’t mean avoiding what we don’t want to feel or experience. Letting go means to even let go of resisting to feel or experience what we don’t want to.
As we surrender and allow ourselves to feel and to experience even the negative feelings, we acknowledge and allow ourselves to experience everything fully. Each feeling and experience is an enriching learning experience, and by going through them we can finally get out of them and truly heal.
And when we truly heal, we truly align.
As questions about manifestation popped up in my mind, the Universe gently and gradually provided insights. Looking back, it’s amazing how we come to learn what we need to learn when we need to learn. When the right time comes, the insights come with nothing more, nothing less, exactly perfect as it is in the moment.
We often manifest by becoming open to desires and possibilities of how they can come true through fantasies. And we gradually align ourselves with these desires by working on our growth as individuals, as well as going through what needs to be healed through surrendering to the richness of both positive and negative feelings and experiences.
What is it that you desire to manifest? How will you choose to manifest?
However you do it, experience it. Feel everything. As everything is part of your journey, of learning and learning about yourself.