How To Make Your Cup Overflow

Talk, move and love with purpose

For most of my life my cup sat under a drip. Being governed by the S word (“should”) not the P word (“purpose”), had me struggling to turn the tap on.

Talking, moving, loving — that’s one three-step strategy to fill your cup.

These three words take you on a journey with purpose — how to find it, enact it and find fulfilment via it. Talking is about discovery, moving is about action and loving is about sharing.

This is how purpose can make your cup overflow…

Talking With Purpose

Talking is how you find what you stand for. Whether it is external conversations with others, or internal conversations during reflection, talking is like firing up your supercomputer to mine your own personal crypto — purpose.

Talk with purpose — as in for a reason, with energy, with drive — to find your purpose. Speak with others, both those you are close to and “get”… and those who you don’t.

Sometimes you need to define yourself by opposites.

I landed in a new job at a company where I knew it wasn’t for me. With every month that passed our values moved further and further apart… but at least that meant that my values were clarifying and solidifying.

When I eventually left that job it took a bit of moping and wound-licking before I felt ready to talk with purpose again. I went on a business course (out of interest and because it was free more than anything else) and rediscovered that feeling of purpose.

New conversations were positive. Questions being asked of us were hard. Answering them required honesty and real thought. When asked what I wanted my new company’s purpose to be, I came up with these 3 values:

• To be creative — come up with new things
• To make great stuff — take pride, deliver quality
• To help others — be a force for good.

From that moment I wasn’t just talking about purpose, I could talk with purpose — as in I knew what I stood for. Or at least I had a better idea.

Moving With Purpose

Moving is action. It’s taking the idea and the theory out into the real world. It’s the response to a “Well, go on then…” prompt from others or yourself.

To get fitter, move. To change your situation or context, move (a new desk, a new friendship, a new date, a new job, a new city). To progress, move forward, map out the steps and take action.

You will fail, you will learn, you will grow. None of it happens until you move.

It’s a lot easier to move if you know the general direction in which you want to go.

If you’ve talked about purpose, and you can now talk with purpose, then moving with purpose is just a question of adding the words “What can you do?” in front of the definitions of what you stand for:

With my example:

What can you do… to be creative?

What can you do… to make great stuff?

What can you do… to help others?

When you start doing things with purpose, you create your own momentum. It is slow to get going, and in that “big effort, little movement” phase, you’re the one chasing other people for decisions…

“Would you be up for a free taster session so I can try out what I want to do?”

“Can I have a go at delivering that project for you?

“Do you want to hear my ideas on how to solve that problem?”

“Will you let me help you?

Once you get a “Yes”, you go, you give it your all. And you discover that time goes faster and life feels easier when you are doing things in line with your own values and purpose. You move out of energy, not duty.

Once momentum is created, you find that other people are asking you to decide…

“Can I have half an hour of your time?”

“Could you fit this in?”

“Is this something you would be interested in?”

“Will you carry on for a while longer please?”

Moving is a physical act. And you notice moving with purpose in your physicality. You stride a little when walking, you sit a little straighter on a zoom call. You talk with a smile on your face.

Loving With Purpose

Loving is sharing, and treating others how you would wish to be treated. It’s seeing the bigger picture. You have found your purpose, you are moving and taking action. But it’s not just about you…

If you have worked out what you stand for, good for you. Now help others. Help them via your purpose — by using your talents in a positive way. Show an example, give back, play a part in others discovering their purpose.

Or just share your gifts — you have more than you need.

Every one of us has vast potential. Imagine we are cups under a tap — out of which flows purpose, achievement and rewards. For most of our life, the tap drips, until we work out how to turn it on.

Then, our cup fills up quickly.

Next a choice. Do you just let your cup overflow constantly (so you are always full, but the excess water drains away), or do you find ways to share the water out?

This is where the journey of purpose ends, because, ultimately, I believe loving each other is all of our purposes, we just express it in different ways.

Inventing a new type of solar panel can be an act of love. Being a professional footballer can be an act of love. Working as a police officer can be an act of love. Collecting litter is an act of love.

We all have different purposes that end up in the same place. Isn’t that beautiful?

Final Thoughts

Time spent with purpose — whether it is talking, moving, or loving — is always worthwhile. One way to structure that time is this:

Talking — converse with yourself and others and wrestle to discover what you do and don’t want to stand for

Moving — turn those values into actions, persevere through the “lots of action, little progress” phase until you create momentum

Loving — once you’ve turned your tap on, be aware that your cup is full, and share the overflow, play your part in making the world a better place

My thanks to Diana C. for the writing prompt to which this article was a response: “Write about what it means to talk, move and love with purpose.”