Summary

The article humorously discusses the misconception that one can make money by writing low-quality content, emphasizing the importance of skill and quality in writing to achieve success.

Abstract

The author of "How to Make Money by Writing Any Old Sh*t" offers a satirical take on the idea that writers can earn money by producing subpar content. The piece welcomes readers of various intentions, from those seeking humor to serious writers and individuals genuinely interested in monetizing their writing. It clarifies that while some may believe in the potential of profiting from poor-quality work, especially in certain mediums like modern pop lyrics, the reality is that true financial success in writing comes from honing one's craft. The author debunks the notion of quick riches through writing, suggesting that even on platforms that publish virtually anything, only quality content will ultimately attract and retain an audience, leading to potential earnings. The article encourages aspiring writers to persist in their efforts, read extensively, and continue writing, even if their early work may not meet their future standards. The author, Alexander M. Combstrong, a screenwriter and psychologist, concludes by thanking readers for their attention and reiterating the value of dedication in writing.

Opinions

The author believes that writing "any old sh*t" will not lead to financial success in most writing domains, such as movies, theater, and books.
There is a sarcastic tone used to address the idea that one can make money from poor writing, implying that such a shortcut does not exist.
The article suggests that even on platforms where any content can be published, only writers who produce quality work will stand out and potentially earn money.
The author emphasizes the importance of continuous learning and improvement in writing, recommending reading works by accomplished writers.
There is an acknowledgment that early writing attempts may be cringe-worthy, but they are essential steps towards becoming a skilled writer.
The piece playfully categorizes the audience into groups based on their reasons for reading, indicating the author's awareness of the diverse expectations among readers.
The author expresses a self-deprecating humor, admitting that they, too, are still working on improving their writing.
There is a subtle challenge to the reader to persist in writing despite initial setbacks, with the promise that dedication can lead to growth and possibly monetary rewards.

How to Make Money by Writing Any Old Sh*t

Really.

Well hello, and welcome to How to Make Money by Writing any old sh*t. Brought to you by a writer who still writes any old sh*t to this day. Literally, today. Churning it out in the present, actually. Thanks for coming.

I guess there’s one of about three reasons why you’re here. Some of you, perhaps, think you might get a laugh out it and will have a quick scroll to see.

Some of you are serious writers, climbing on high horses ready to despair and tut.

And some of you really want to see how you can make money by writing any old sh*t.

Well, you’re all very welcome.

Humour seekers – sit at the front. Close enough to watch and see if I wink or not.

I set up the high horses behind them for those who wish to climb on. They’re close enough to inspect me but far enough away that you probably won’t hit me if you throw anything.

Sh*t-writing cash-seekers, sit at the back near the exit. Let’s face it, you would’ve done anyway.

Ok, first up – where can’t you get away with writing any old sh*t and make money?

First: Movies. Sh*t scripts don’t get bought. Sh*t films come from good scripts that had executives with better ideas. Or from writers who had money anyway.

Theatre. Definitely no money there even if you’re good.

Books? Does anyone still read books? How do you even scroll down a book?

Modern pop lyrics? Ok, I’ll give you that one.

But what if there was some kind of website that would allow absolutely anyone to write absolutely any old sh*t and guarantee it got published. Can you imagine?

But here’s the thing, short cut seekers at the back. Even then, you’d get shown up. You can churn out as much rubbish as you want, and you won’t make money. You gotta get good or get out. That’s how it works.

They’re leaving already at the back look. Lazy f*ckers. Probably off to curl out an article and pinch it off on the page. Nice. There’s a couple sticking around at least.

There’s a few from the middle still here I see. Come on, move down to the front, it’s ok. This wasn’t meant for you, but you’re more than welcome to stay.

And I’m well aware it’s not even that funny either, so thanks for sticking around if you’re at the front. I didn’t try that hard because let’s face it, you’re probably American so wouldn’t get the jokes anyway.

Don’t worry, Americans. I’m British so insults are a term of endearment. Just don’t give them back, we’re shy.

No, my target readers here are the few left at the back. Those who came to find a short cut but stuck around even though they didn’t get it. You guys need to stay. You can do this.

Write your sh*t and publish it. Who cares if no one reads it. It’ll be better if they don’t, you’ll cringe yourself when you read it back in six months time. But that’s because you’ll be better.

Keep reading articles by the best here. Read about writing. Read books by the best. Read Bryson. Read Taleb. Read blogs and screenplays and comics.

And keep writing any old sh*t. Because then you’ll get good. You’ll get informative and funny. You’ll see your readership grow and you may even make some money. And you’ll see me sitting at the front, taking notes on how to get to where you are, because let’s face it: I’m clearly still writing any old sh*t too.

Thanks for coming, but most of all, thanks for staying. That’s where the dollars are, after all.

Alexander M. Combstrong is a screenwriter, actor and film producer writing under a pen name. He has a degree in psychology and hates writing about himself in the third person. He writes mostly in psychology, personal growth and mental health.