How To Make Mistakes And Get Away With It

Resistance is not futile.

“Excuse me, please” followed by a confident smile was something I did when I accidentally shoved the boy standing next to inline in the morning assembly. I remember it well, those days as I woke up the morning with not a minute to spare. I had planned it all along the night before. How I would wake up the next day! It was a process I thoroughly made up in my mind, because I knew at the end of the day — I was going to make a mistake.

Expecting one’s nature is perhaps one of the most profound ways of contemplation. It allows one such as me to highlight the factors that will mitigate my progress. At most allowing me to gain the insight by creating a contingency that will help if any inconvenience would arrive. As Steve Maraboli once said,

“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.”

Remember, I was just a child then but I had learned the ways to escape punishment. Sometimes, all one needs is a little bit of confidence, a touch of optimism, and a gentle smile to get away with anything. And so I did.

When I was a kid, getting ready for school would be a hassle to deal with. I have to give it to my mother, for preparing on my behalf as I would always be that one kid who is the last to reach the bus. The one to arrive late at school.

Somehow back in the day, I had made up my mind to leave last. Because it allowed me to have time to prepare for the day. And to say goodbye to the people in my life. I always expected that I would make mistakes. Or so that’s what my teacher used to say to me. Ah, good times.

There were times in my life, where school life became miserable. Especially the moments where it wasn’t my fault and the teacher’s hand was in the air. Slowly travelling at the speed of Mach 2, targeting my chubby cheeks. Or so I imagined it that way. I would close my eyes, and perhaps pray that the teacher would stop. Seeing my adorable face, they likely would. But some occasional teachers wouldn’t care until and unless they’d see a tear.

Wouldn’t they get in trouble? well, they didn't as it was the norm back then.

As a kid, whenever I’d experience a day like this. I’d smile, but first I’d spend some time analyzing the error in my ways, locking myself up in boy’s lavatory. This was the place where I would customize my attitude before going back home. The last thing I wanted was my mother seeing me all depressed and anxious. I never wanted that for her, especially with how much effort she would put in every day getting us ready and feeding us with her love.

No child wants their mother to feel sadness, especially from their mistakes.

This was a time when I would leave all the feelings of sadness and gloom. Flushing them away as they travelled down into the gutter. Isn’t that poetic, right!? When I would come outside, I’d feel much better. That lavatory was my therapist. I left all my burdens in there, every day for a decade perhaps until the time came when I didn’t need it anymore.

I don’t know when I realized this — but from an early age, I was somewhat aware of people’s emotions and their ways. It was like I could feel what they felt, see what they wore on their faces. It was like reading a person from within and out. This perspective allowed me to tap into this mysterious force that I felt whenever I talked to another person.

It gave me this tenacity to accept whatever came my way, without a worry. Though before I mastered it, there was a sense of fear that would preside whenever I’d feel this intensity brewing. It was nothing like I had ever felt.

This weight that seemed to crush my breathing. It became harder to sometimes control this sudden rush of emotion. There were many things in those days that I learned to control — one such was the rush of emotions that came when I made a mistake.

In like a split second, I felt a weight like a fine thread of fate. I could see the ways where I escaped and also the ways where I didn’t. Precognition is something similar to what I experienced. Knowing this feeling and letting it travel through me allowed evading such disasters that sung doom my way.

It’s hard to put it into words, but it’s like a feeling that tends to freeze you in place and all you can see is the fate that awaits. Actions and choices are somethings that are in our control. We can always choose a better way, a reasonable way to escape the aftermath of our mistakes. I did just that by following this gut feeling, and at times I was able to pull off feats that I believe were miracles.

As a child, you tend to mesmerize a happening when it blows your mind. When it’s beyond what you expected. Evasion is like that, it is the ability to perceive a choice that lies dormant in the error of our ways. As Roy T. Bennet has beautifully put it,

“You cannot control the behavior of others, but you can always choose how you respond to it.”

Seeing is believing, but some things have to be felt first for us to establish faith. It is how belief works. We need to understand our mistakes before we learn to solve them. We need reasons to keep going. Even without reason, there is always something that pushes us to be better. Someone who randomly comes our way with a question, perhaps we might be able to answer. It won’t be the ultimate answer, but it will be enough to get them started moving.

This was something I used to feel whenever I’d make a mistake. There were ones that I intentionally made so that I’d know that I’m not hallucinating this pressure. And it became clear, that I was not. It helped me to map the many ways I’d adopt to evade such fates which spelt my doom.

Funny thing is to reach this level of awareness, I had to first allow myself to get acquainted with people. And how does one get better at knowing people?

Well, you spend time with them of course. You put yourself in their shoes, and try to walk a mile in them. You adopt their perspectives, their mistakes, their life. You visualize all the possibilities and impossibilities through clear action.

One thing I learned from people is that being confident and pretending to be is usually the same. It is a misconception that confident people don’t feel anxiety. They do, but they are masters at hiding it. It is like feeling this feint sharp sting in the bottom of your heart. It feels like a small spike in your breathing, an instance where you might find it harder to sigh.

In those days, I would usually smile whenever I might have made a mistake. Whether it be a quiz, a test, or making a ruckus in the classroom. Though I never tried making a ruckus, I was usually the quiet one. But one of these days, some kid would pin it on me. And I would get in trouble.

When the teacher looks at you, he/she looks for traces of guilt. Sometimes they scan you for it. It can be seen in your breathing, and it can be seen in your eyes. In human nature, this aspect can be deceived but only those who are good at hiding it can get away with it.

There were times, the teacher would just not listen. In the heat of the moment, they would raise their hand. Now I always kept a straight face, when I got hit. But every now and then my eyes would water. But my hands would be behind my back crossed together ready to receive that punishment.

I believe whenever I crossed my hands, behind my back the teacher would stop. They’d stop because I didn’t show resistance. I know, either way, I’d get hit. I understood the nature of the teacher, and so I did what was the most plausible thing to do i.e. bracing for impact. As I didn’t deserve it but the teacher had made up their mind. I would not block instead, I would brace for impact.

This usually showed the teacher that I am not resisting. Remember, a person who had made a mistake would resist getting punished. This is a clear way of portraying human psyche. A cheater would resist, even if they have cheated on a test and they would ask for another chance. I, on the other hand, would let the teacher do what they please.

It allowed me to show them, that I have no issue with the end result. It allowed me to come to terms with what was going to happen. And in doing so, I raised the stakes in my favour. How?

Well firstly, people adhere to a kind smile. Especially when it comes from one they are trying to punish. From my experience, people usually stop when they can see the innocence in one’s eyes. It is but a brief moment where the person standing next to you can feel that they are raising their hand on someone innocent.

Now my friends, on the other hand, a few of them picked this up as well. And it worked in the favour of some boys. As some were wrongfully convicted of making mistakes.

Now my school, especially for the boys, was very tough when it came to making mistakes. We have been beaten, we have been abused, and so much more. It did make us strong, but we never resented our teachers. Some of my fellows would resist and then they would get hit a lot after school.

I, on the other hand, allowed myself to escape by showing I didn’t deserve it. With most abusive teachers, fooling them is hard when you’re trying to escape punishment. I learned that from my friends who would get strung up often for their bad behaviour.

If you show no resistance, use your emotions wisely — you will get away with it.

A tactic that works always, but there will be some abuse coming your way. If you break your attitude towards it. Until you are all clear & away from the prosecutor — you will be fine.

Making mistakes comes naturally to people with ADHD. We are different people, altogether. Our minds are made up of numerous blocks, but some of those blocks went missing. We haven’t heard from them since. But we are still waiting when they would come back to us in the form of an idea. Something that will help us in correcting our mistakes. It doesn’t take much time for one such as me to understand the world around them.

Honing your emotions comes from experiencing hardships. You shouldn’t quit yourself out just because something is hard, and takes a thousand tries. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Some things need time and repetition to complete. The right moment will arrive so long as you keep trying.

We all make mistakes, trust me I have made plenty. But I was able to get away with it. It took me all my wit, my attitude as well as my emotions to escape them. The people who didn’t accept who I was, I was fine with it.

Because I found the answer to that as well, when I chose to accept myself completely, wholly, and firmly. Show resistance where it’s due, but it becomes much easier when you accept your mistakes than to evade what comes after.

It will come regardless of your intervention, but there is always a chance to avoid it. Take it without a second thought and you will learn.

In the end, everything that rests on the other side of that choice is waiting to welcome you with zest. Thus, persevere in those hard times and remember to be brave.