Summary

The article distinguishes between the concepts of friends and pals, emphasizing the deeper trust and reciprocity inherent in true friendships.

Abstract

The author of the article reflects on personal experiences to delineate the differences between friends and pals. Friends are characterized as individuals with whom one shares a deep bond of trust, support, and mutual understanding, while pals are more casual acquaintances with whom one may enjoy activities and conversations but without the same level of commitment. The author's move to a new city and school highlighted this distinction, as they initially mistook pals for friends, leading to unmet expectations. True friendships, the author suggests, develop organically over time and are not the result of intentional searching. The article concludes with the author's realization that while one may have many pals, true friends are fewer in number and represent a more profound connection.

Opinions

The author believes that true friendship is based on trust, support, and the ability to discuss serious matters, not just on shared activities or casual conversations.
Expectations from friends are different and higher than those from pals; one cannot expect the same level of understanding or support from a pal as from a friend.
True friendships cannot be forced or sought out intentionally; they naturally evolve from mutual liking and trust.
The author's father's experience is cited to illustrate that while one may interact with many people and consider them pals, true friends are rare and distinguished by a unique sense of care and loyalty.
The article suggests that friendships can withstand periods of no communication and still remain strong, whereas relationships with pals may not endure such gaps.
The author emphasizes that the essence of true friendship is found in the mutual desire to be around each other, built on trust and the willingness to correct each other without hesitation.

How To Make Friends: The Difference Between Friends and Pals

Pals, buddies, chums, we have so many words to describe those whom we we along with, but where do you draw the line between a true friend and a pal, and why is this important?

When I was a teenager my family had to move to a new country, once we landed I was enrolled in a new school.

Naturally, you’d expect a fifteen-year-old to find it easy to make friends at his new school, unfortunately, I was not the social type.

Let’s Be Friends With Everyone, Why Not?

The above statement sounds fabulous, what if I decided to be friends with everybody?

With this mindset, I went through my first few weeks of school making a lot of “friends”, all good until I realized something.

Back in my old school, I had known my friends since childhood and we trusted each other. I come from a small town, but now I am living in a big city with a big change in mentality.

I realized that my new friends were not the same type of friends that I was used to. This new definition of friendship didn’t sit well with me.

What Did Friendship Mean To Me?

For me, a friend is someone you can talk to about anything with no restrictions. A friend will always be supportive but will tell you if you’re in the wrong. A friend is someone you can call at any time. A friend is someone you can joke around with, but also discuss serious matters at times.

You see, a friendship is not something one will have with everybody, a true friendship takes time to develop.

At this new school, I suffered when in my mind I viewed all my pals as friends because I could not expect the same from a buddy than from a friend, and that experience taught me something very important.

What Does a Pal or Buddy Mean To Me?

Expectations, one cannot expect the same from a pal than from a friend.

This does not mean that having buddies or pals is a bad thing, of course not. A buddy is someone you get along with, joke around with, go out with, and might even talk about serious topics with, but it is never the same trust as with a friend.

Have you ever encountered yourself amid a conversation with someone, and you feel like the other person is not listening to you, but rather just waiting for their turn to talk back? That is what I call a pal.

This is not necessarily bad, but convos are much more enjoyable with friends than with pals.

Still, I have pals, I go out with them sometimes, I have good times and I joke around a lot with them, but if I let myself believe that they are my friends then I would be in the wrong.

After Getting To Know The Difference Between Friends And Pals, Then How Do You Make True Friends?

Not through a dating app, that’s for sure.

My statement above is not fully true, you see, I believe that true friendships are not planned, you don’t go out looking for them, they sort of just happen.

In my day-to-day life, I stay open to meeting new people, people whom then I will call my pals and buddies. I will stay open to hanging out with them, getting to know them, and letting them get to know me. But inside me, I know that unless I perceive reciprocity, they will still be my pals as I will be theirs.

My father is now a senior citizen. When I walked with him through my hometown many years ago, without any exaggeration, at least one person from every other corner would say hi to him. My father has always been a friendly type of person. It didn’t matter where we went, he would always know someone.

Being this said, I want to share some wisdom he has illuminated me with. He told me he only has three friends, out of all the people he would joke around with, all the people he could easily spend half an hour talking to. All the people that would do us favors like having our order ready on our arrival at the meat store. Out of all those people, only three of them were his true friends and none of them lived nearby.

In Short, What Is A Pal, What Is A Friend, And How Does One Make A Friend?

A pal or buddy is someone we get along with, they might come as a coworker, a studying partner, a neighbor, a dating app match, etc. We will like them, they will like us, we will even help each other, we will even rely on each other from time to time, but it is never the same sensation as with a friend.

A friend is all that a pal or buddy is, but better. A friend is someone you can trust for anything, a friend will watch out for you even if you haven’t spoken to them in a while. Friends care for each other, they want the best for each other and they will tell you to your face if you are doing something wrong without hesitation. Friendships don’t end once they get established, there will be some bumps in the road but nothing irreparable, and if there happens to be something irreparable, then that friendship was a palship.

How does one make a friend? One does not go through life looking for friends, one goes looking for our dreams and aspirations, and the people whom we cross paths with, people whom we keep coming back to because we like being around them as they like being around us, those who we can trust as so they can trust us. Those who we don’t need but who we prefer to be around of, those are our true friends.