How To Make French Friends in France
Growing up, I wanted to be French! I was fascinated by the very different charm French women had compared to what I was used to seeing as an American. In all of the movies I saw, the French were effortlessly chic, classy, and knowledgeable on a variety of topics. Now that I live in France, I’m happy to say that I still have these moments of awe when discovering aspects of French culture that are so different from life in the states. I also have enjoyed seeing how other Americans enjoy French culture through TV shows like “Emily in Paris”.
If you would like to know more in detail about my thoughts on this controversial show, you can read about it here…
I notice that Americans misunderstand the French often. I think it’s because the social rules in the U.S and France can feel drastically opposite at times. Many misunderstandings can happen if one doesn’t understand French culture. If you’re going to France soon and hope to make French friends with whom you can talk about literature, art, and cuisine — here are some fun little tips that might make befriending a French person a little easier!
Carry a lighter with you wherever you go
I don’t smoke. I don’t believe I ever will as I love to sing and smoking obviously isn’t helpful for aspiring vocalists, but you can be sure I carry a lighter with me wherever I go! When I first moved to France, I tried to create as many opportunities for myself as possible to meet the locals in my neighborhood. One of the ways I attempted to meet people was by going out to parks to read my books instead of staying at home. I hoped that someone would ask me what I was reading! In my mind we could become friends, maybe even start a book club, and share our thoughts on the themes, symbolism, and literary devices that the author used while eating banana bread. If you have lived an ex-pat life, you’ll know that being without family and friends in a foreign place can start to feel lonely very quickly. I tried putting myself out there but noticed that the French social rules are very different from the ones we have in the U.S. French people value privacy, so it’s not very appropriate to be bavard (chatty) with the checkout clerk or someone in the park who’s enjoying a moment of peace and solitude. What I have found, however, is that the stereotype that French people smoke a lot is pretty true! So though I may not smoke myself, I carry a lighter with me for anyone in need! Make sure you carry a lighter with you too so when the inevitable person who stops you to ask “Excusez-Moi, est-ce que vous avez du feu?” (Excuse me, do you have a lighter? — Literally translated: do you have some fire?) you will be ready and can say “oui!” back in response!
Be confident in your cooking abilities
I am much more interested in cooking now after living in France than I thought I would be when I first moved here. French people love food! They love to talk about it, savor it, and share it with loved ones. If you gift a French person with a dish you’ve prepared after they taste it, they’ll probably start listing off the ingredients they think you might have used. “Laisse-moi deviner… du canelle, des poires, et… des clous de girofle!” (Let me guess, cinnamon, pears, and… cloves!) Most of my favorite, coziest, feel-good conversations in France have been about food. I’ve never met people that talk about food in the way that French people do! If you want to join the conversation and connect more easily with French people, it’s a good idea to explore the culinary world a bit! This way, you too, can experience the pleasure of being able to talk about and enjoy food like the French!
There are so many things we can learn from each culture. I try to stay open-minded so that I can learn lessons from the people that enter my life. Whether that be in a park, at the grocery store, or at my dinner table, I try to have an open mindset and an open heart. These tips are just fun little things that I have found have made my life a bit easier to connect with French people while living in Paris. However, the best tip I can give to you is not to judge at the first glance and to instead always be open to learning from those we meet. There are so many lessons to receive from each person that crosses our path.
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