3 Questions to Help You Make Better Decisions
Success and failure are the yin and yang of life
Everyone wants to give advice about how being successful is the ultimate goal to happiness.
Except, sometimes it isn’t.
Because success is defined individually — by personal parameters.
The formula for measuring success can take many forms, for example, maintaining good health, managing the household budget, keeping the car in running condition, or meeting your manager’s expectations.
As humans with the ability to make our own decisions and act out of free will, being on the receiving end of well-meaning but often irrelevant advice from those attempting to improve our lot in life can be, well, a real pain.
Sometimes literally.
Which is why some advice falls on deaf ears, and other suggestions are praised as pearls of wisdom, sparking energetic motivation.
What makes the difference?
Instinctual awareness.
Instinct is a natural and proven resource — an internal compass that seldom fails us. The challenge is learning to recognize it — trust it — and place a greater reliance on those “gut feelings” we all experience.
How much priority should we place on instinct?
Give it as much importance as any other factor used to evaluate the pros and cons of a decision.
Including your instinctual reactions as part of a decision-making strategy provides the advantage of utilizing subconscious processing to arrive at a bottom line you can live with in the long-term.
Need proof?
Take a look back at decisions that ultimately left you disappointed or feeling like a failure. In most cases, your instinct was probably waving its arms and raising red flags. And yet, you ignored the internal warnings and moved forward, only to regret it later.
For example, how many times have you heard yourself say:
“I should have known better. It wasn’t right for me.”
“Something told me not to do it, but I knew others would ridicule me for saying no.”
“If only I’d listened to my gut and taken the risk; or gone out on the date; or taken the job.”
Granted, it’s not always easy being friends with our instinct.
The fault lies partly in our lack of understanding the true intentions of this intangible gift.
In reality, the “Big I” is always on our side — and available on demand.
All we need to do is listen, especially when we’re feeling overwhelmed by the heat of the moment, or we’re about to commit to a sketchy — and ultimately inappropriate — choice or direction.
Unfortunately, that’s exactly when we’re least likely to listen to our instinctual voice.
Personal conflict, emotional desperation, and financial fear can cause us to ignore our own good sense and push it aside — allowing our pride or stubborn vanity to take the lead.
By recognizing the signals — and giving them top priority — we can reduce and even eliminate knee-jerk reactions triggered by ego and fear.
Want to open a clear channel to your instinct?
You have the ability to activate an instinctual response by asking yourself three questions:
1. How does this option/solution/outcome feel?
2. How does it look to me?
3. How does it sound when I say it out loud?
If all three questions receive a positive response, it’s an indication you’re getting a thumbs-up from your instinct. If one of those modalities is negative, be careful — it may mean there’s some aspect of the decision that’s generating concern.
If two of the questions generate a negative response or sensation, there’s a major problem with the situation, and your best solution may simply be to walk away.
Finally, let your inner voice have its say — even if you initially disagree — and be polite, with no interruptions.
Above all, avoid making a decision that’s contrary to your intuition until you’ve resolved the underlying hesitation or reluctance.
I’ve found it helpful to schedule some time for evaluating information when I’m in a quiet frame of mind and ready to consider alternate possibilities. Using the strategy of writing down the pros and cons of both sides, I’ll expand my options by asking the three “activator” questions.
Ninety-nine percent of the time, I arrive at an answer that feels right, looks good, and sounds appropriate.
And the resulting outcome?
My choice or decision represents an authentic and genuinely appropriate response which, in the long-term, leaves me happier and more positive about my future — and less regret over the past.
© 2020 Jill Reid. All Rights Reserved.
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Jill Reid is the author of Real Life, Discover Your Personal Truth, Life in Small Doses, and Please God, Make Me A Writer. Her books, videos, and newsletter explore life, relationships, health, and personal success strategies for working through the challenges of everyday life.