How To Make Anyone Love You (According To Science)
I want you to think about your best friend for a second.
Why do you like them?
I’d argue because when you go to you best friend they do one of several things.
They probably allow you to be open & honest with them without the fear of being judged.
They probably give you their undivided attention and make you feel cared for.
They probably hug you, pat your back, or give your other meaningful signs of affection.
In short, your best friend is your best friend because you have associated them with the consistent meeting of your deepest needs.
In the book His Needs, Her Needs, Dr.Willard Harley said something profound in one of the last chapters in the book that went like this.
“The quickest cure to romantic incompatibility is reliably meeting a person’s most important needs.”
He went on to say that in his decades of research on successful marriages, the top 2 needs for MOST women were:
Affection (Hugs, kisses, playfulness)
Intimate conversation (Undivided attention, discussions of thoughts & feelings)
And for men he went on to say the top 2 most important need for MOST men were:
Sexual fulfillment (Self-explanatory)
Recreational companionship (Doing activities together)
Even more surprisingly was, in relationships that had all 4 of these needs me, almost without exception their relationships thrived.
Dr.Harley further went onto say that relationships were largely like piggy banks. Once you’ve made enough deposits, one day things go CLICK and love is the result.
So once you start making deposits, all you need to do is keep making them until it reaches his theoretical “Love Point,” he came up with after his decades of clinical research.
So then what’s the secret to making anyone like you?
#1. Discern their deepest needs/values.
#2. Once you know what’s important to them, provide frequently in great quantities.
#3. Wait until your “deposits” reach the critical love point.
For more on this you can either check out his book,
His Needs, Her Needs: Romantic Love That Lasts
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