Summary

The web content provides personal insights and practical tips for maintaining a successful long-distance relationship, based on the author's own experience.

Abstract

The article titled "How to make a long-distance relationship work" offers a personal account and advice for couples in long-distance relationships. The author, who has been in a long-distance relationship for over a year with their medical student partner, shares strategies that have helped them thrive despite the challenges. Key points include the importance of open communication, making time for each other through regular calls and visits, continuing to flourish in one's social circle, and having a plan for the next visit to create something to look forward to. The author emphasizes that long-distance relationships can lead to personal growth and strengthen the relationship, with the added benefit of exploring new places together.

Opinions

The author believes that discussing and planning how to handle the long-distance aspect is crucial before starting such a relationship.
They advocate for frequent communication, suggesting daily calls or video chats as a way to maintain closeness.
The author values the significance of expressing both concerns and positive feelings to keep the relationship healthy.
They suggest that maintaining individual hobbies and social lives is important for personal growth and to avoid constant longing for the partner.
The author finds that planning visits in advance provides a sense of anticipation and helps in coping with the separation.
They view long-distance relationships as an opportunity for cherishing time together more deeply and for exploring new places.
The author encourages readers to support them by using their referral link to subscribe to Medium, expressing gratitude for the support.

How to make a long-distance relationship work

Here are some tips for you, based on how we made it work :D

Long-distance relationships present a special challenge for couples — but at the same time, more and more people find themselves in one.

A love story — with obstacles

So, you might ask, what qualifies me to write about this topic?

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now… and there are quite a few more years to go (about four more) because we‘re both studying medicine… yay!

We’ve known each other since first grade, as we were in the same school for more than 12 years! Well, guess what? We only got together after graduation, after having both decided we were going to study medicine… but in different countries.

Fun fact, we did go on a date shortly after school ended, but because we knew it was going to be long-distance, both of us were too scared and ultimately did not decide to give it a try. That was in 2019.

Fast forward to the beginning of 2022, we finally got together “for real” — we kept seeing each other in our friend group and eventually, as the feelings were too strong between us, we decided to give it another try long-distance.

So here we are, over one year into our relationship, happier than we ever could have imagined!

Here are some tips that helped us and that we learned in the course of our long-distance relationship - for you :)

Communication is key

As always, communication is key, in any form of relationship. This is easily said, but e.g. before you go into a long-distance relationship, it’s a good idea to talk about and plan how you’re going to tackle this challenge together. How often can you / will you visit each other? Do you want to (video) call every day? Or every few days?

Even if you’re already in a long-distance relationship, it’s important to talk about how you’re both feeling about the situation. If there’s something that bothers you, mention it to your partner. It’s better to talk about it (in a respectable way) than to swallow your thoughts down and let them boil inside you. To be honest, I did have this problem at the beginning — not expressing how certain things made me feel. But it’s a process, we all learn and get better with time!

And of course, don’t forget to highlight the things that you like! For example, if you love to call every day or when one of your (virtual) dates was particularly wonderful!

Make time for each other

In long-distance relationships, both partners typically have their social circles in the place they’re living. Therefore, it’s even more important to stay in touch. Even just a short and sweet “Good morning, love” message can make a difference in your partner’s day!

For us (we’re both not the best texters), we decided to call every evening, which worked wonderfully! If one of us had plans for the evening, we’d call at a different time, or just the next day, which was also no problem.

What we also did was to visit each other as often as we could, sometimes it was once a month, sometimes twice, and during the holidays, we’d finally spend a longer period together. Most of the time, we tried alternating visiting each other, but this was all dependent on our study schedules :D When it was possible and our budget allowed for it, we also went on mini trips, visiting new cities or hiking — highly recommend it!

Of course, every couple is different — talk to each other and experiment to find what works best for you :)

Continue flourishing in your social circle

At the same time, it’s important for you to grow as a person and to continue with your hobbies and spending time with your friends. That way, you’ll both be strong independent individuals, going through the challenge of a long-distance relationship together and meeting each other at eye level. It’s all about balance.

Plus, that way you’ll not be thinking of missing your significant other all the time. And when you do, try to reminisce about the wonderful memories that you’ve made together, and look forward to the next time you see them!

Know when you’ll see each other next

What helped me a lot was knowing when we were gonna see each other next. That way, there was something specific to look forward to. So go ahead and plan some visits! Sometimes, when we were able to plan ahead, we’d even plan out the next time we’d see each other before we were saying goodbye.

And if you know when the “long-distance” time will end, even better!

Long-distance relationships might be difficult, but they are also a chance. A chance to cherish the time with your partner even more and to grow together and at the same time, build your own life and friends. And what’s more, you get to explore different places when you visit each other!

If you’re not yet able to read all articles on Medium and would like to become a member (for $5 a month), you can sign up with this link. It’s a referral link and won’t cost you any more than the $5 a month, plus, you would support me directly and I would be infinitely grateful to you! :)