Summary

The article discusses the challenges and benefits of maintaining a long-distance relationship, emphasizing the importance of communication, respect, and honesty.

Abstract

The article "How To Love From A Thousand Miles Away" delves into the complexities of surviving a long-distance relationship. It acknowledges the common misconception that such relationships are not as real due to the lack of physical presence. However, it argues that the necessity for clear communication, direct questioning, and deep respect for one's partner can make these relationships profound and demanding. The author points out that while physical connection is essential, long-distance relationships teach valuable lessons in expressing oneself and understanding a partner's feelings without relying on physical cues. The article suggests that the investment in a long-distance relationship can lead to a stronger bond, as it requires couples to address issues directly and find solutions without the comfort of physical proximity. The anticipation of finally meeting in person can be both exciting and nerve-wracking, but it often solidifies the connection that has been built through communication. Ultimately, the article concludes that not all long-distance relationships will succeed due to various challenges, including the difficulty of maintaining patience and honesty over distance.

Opinions

Long-distance relationships are often undervalued but can be serious and high-maintenance commitments.
Physical connection is important, but its absence in long-distance relationships can lead to personal growth in communication and respect.
Respect in a long-distance relationship means not seeking physical interactions elsewhere and valuing the partner's uniqueness.
The decision to pursue a relationship with someone far away implies a strong connection that might not be found with someone closer.
Long-distance relationships force couples to confront issues directly, as they cannot rely on physical gestures to resolve conflicts.
Honesty is crucial in long-distance relationships, as it is easy to disconnect but much more rewarding to build trust and understanding.
The eventual meeting of long-distance partners can be a pivotal moment, either strengthening the relationship or revealing incompatibilities.
Not all long-distance relationships will survive the challenges they face, and dishonesty is a significant factor in their potential failure.

How To Love From A Thousand Miles Away

Surviving a long distance relationship.

Photo by Wolfgang Hasselmann on Unsplash

Many people consider long-distance relationships as “not real relationships”, and while they might be right considering you’re lacking the physical communication with someone, this being a quite relevant part of a relationship; the level of patience, respect and the way you have to manage to find the words to better express yourself to the best of your capacities, make the entire relationship a serious and high-maintenance thing.

Of course, we all need that physical connection; not being able to feel your loved one’s scent, their warmth when you hug, and even the sexual tension can be extremely difficult to deal with at some point.

But having a long distance relationship can teach you many things.

It will teach you how to communicate with words better, how to be direct with your questions when you need to know what goes through their mind and what are their feelings on the situation, because there is no way for you to guess by seeing a facial expression or demeanor, unless you go on a video call every time you talk (maybe).

You can video-chat, but even then you can’t always be available and it won’t ever be the same as sitting down face to face, talking about your problems.

You will learn how to achieve a level of respect for the relationship and for that person, enough to not give up and go looking for physical interactions when you feel you’re lacking.

You will learn how to respect them, like anyone else around you and even more than those who are closer to you.

At the end, you could have chosen someone who lives a few houses away from you, or someone at work or from the next neighborhood, but you didn’t.

You chose to invest your time on this person thousands of miles away from you, because you found something in them that you couldn’t see in anyone around you.

You found things about them that fulfilled you and made you happy, traits and characteristics that made them look unique in your eyes.

You spend more time writing to them, video-chatting them, calling them, than you do socializing with your surroundings; and trust me, it isn’t such a bad a thing at all.

Even when it can be a great challenge, you are assuming a huge sense of responsibility over a relationship so fragile; that no matter how much love there is between you and this person many miles away, it is quite easy to hit the “block this user” button, cut communication and never talk to each other again, just to go back to being complete strangers in different locations on the planet.

It will depend on both of you, for you to assume this role and protect this bond you both have been harvesting during the time you’ve had to get to know each other, and allow it to bloom into a stronger relationship you could be part of for the rest of your lives.

While I enjoy and love physical attention a lot (who doesn’t?) and I would spend an entire day cuddling and being near this person, I came to realize that the distance has given me the chance to speak out, instead of going along with what I didn’t like just by showing physical love gestures, to ignore what was bothering me, thinking doing nothing was the best option to overcome any problems.

When you have to sit down and call to talk about your couple-problems, that’s when you find out if this person does care about you and not only about the experience of having someone to talk to when no one else is available.

When all you can do is speak or write to this person, and you don’t have the option to hide behind a hug or a kiss to make things “okay”, whatever needs to be said comes out naturally, and believe me when I tell you that it makes everything so much easier.

You are forced to face your problems and have the obligation to come up with a solution, or the entire relationship will lose it’s meaning and become a pair of strangers casually checking on each other.

Once you finally take one step forward and decide to plan a trip and get on a plane, things start to get exciting.

You might even torture yourself a lot, feeling like you’re going to see someone you’ve never met, and while you’re correct on that, the truth is that if they have been sincere about themselves, you already know this person, you just haven’t met their physical form.

You have learned so much about this person that at the time you meet, you forget that not so long ago you were only able to talk to them through a screen (or if you’re old fashioned, through paper).

Being only a few inches away from this amazing person you never imagined you’d meet, will make you feel like the happiest and luckiest human alive.

And so a new phase of the relationship takes off, possibly making things easier given you already know almost everything about each other, and have exchanged more words than touch.

For some people, everything works out perfectly and continue sharing a happy and prosperous relationship; for others, sadly, it is more like being given the chance — in a disappointing way — to find out about the real personality of the person they longed to be with.

Not every long-distance relationship lasts and becomes a healthy marriage. Not everyone has the patience, the will or the strength to keep up with the many hardships it surely will make you go through.

And let’s be realistic, not everyone is honest about themselves, and that is bound to fail no matter how long their lies last.

Always be honest no matter what, whether you are in a long-distance relationship from the beginning or not, lies will never make anyone happy including yourself.