How To Love Fate When Fate Doesn’t Love You
Through the author Robert Green and Daily Stoic, I’ve become familiar with the phrase, Amor Fati, which is Latin for, “Love Fate.” It comes from a quote by Friedrich Nietzsche as a part of his formula for greatness, “That one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backwards, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it….but love it.”
It’s a mighty challenge, embracing Stoic virtues and values to face reality for what it is, rather than what you wish it to be. In the Enchiridion, Epictetus, a Greek Slave, says, “Remember that you are an actor in a drama of such sort as the Author chooses — if short, then in a short one; if long, then in a long one. If it be his pleasure that you should enact a poor man, or a cripple, or a ruler, or a private citizen, see that you act it well. For this is your business — to act well the given part, but to choose it belongs to another.”
We don’t get to write out stories, often we are simply handed a script and told to do our best with the lines we have.
The practice reminds of the promises God makes in the Bible, of His sovereignty and faithfulness. Among the most readily remembered is Romans 8:28, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
In Proverbs, we are encouraged to, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5–6
Several of my friends have had to endure my response to their difficulty as, “Amor Fati.” Even as often I say it as an encouragement, I’m forced to take my own medicine. I’m challenged to love fate, even when it doesn’t love me.
As a Christian, it’s supposed to be easier… supposed to.
It’s easy to say things like this when everything is hunky dory, when my steps are decorated by rainbows and sunshine. No worries, hakuna matata and all that.
But life isn’t fair, and it rarely gets any easier. There are challenges that arise, moments of pain and of misery. However you play the cards, you somehow end up with a losing hand. How do you love fate in those moments? How can you trust God’s promises when life is at its worst?
Existential questions and agony arise from either question. Before adventuring into the metaphysical, let us first address the purpose and content of Amor Fati. It does not claim to solve your problems or preach an absence of them in your life, it is an attitude. A perspective to be taken by an individual in response to the stimulus of life.
Freedom is found in the acceptance and joy of a thing, rather than the disputing of it. It is far better for a person to embrace what happens or is happening, looking at the situation as a reality from which lessons may be learned or a challenge to be undertaken. The problems of life are more than a slap to the face, instead they should be seen as challenges to our personal tenacity.
This is what the Stoics advocated and spoke to. We often are not the masters of our destiny, only capable of doing our best in the situations we find ourselves in. As such, we control our reactions, and that is a foundation to Stoic philosophy and action.
It is how you behave and act when everything seems wrong and against you that matters most. The attraction the Stoic school has is it is more than hollow thought. It is a way of looking at the world you can apply the moment you find yourself slighted by a coworker or inconvenienced at the grocery store.
In moving from the philosophical to the theological, we must highlight that there is a difference.
God, in His being and existence is theology, the study of God is different than the mere study of ideas. It is the domain of the metaphysical and therefore shouldn’t be evaluated in the same way we examine the actions of our fellow man.
It is the soul at play here, not merely the body or mind. To suggest that God is wrong to allow bad to happen is to distrust the nature of God and His motives. The Holy Scriptures are resplendent with examples of men and women who served God and had horrible things happen to them.
A perfect example of God using the evil of men for His own plans is found within the story of Joseph, who many will remember was sold into slavery by his own brothers. Through circumstance he becomes the advisor to Pharaoh and plays an instrumental role in saving the land of Egypt from starvation.
Another narrative often given less attention is the book of Esther. Set within the exile of the Israelites in Babylon, Esther is made Queen to the King and saves her people from a violent genocide.
After the previous Queen refuses to do what her husband wants, the King of Babylon is in search of a new Queen. This leads to a collecting of virgins from across to the kingdom to add to his harem, one will be made Queen.
Esther finds favor in the sight of the king, and is elevated to the Queenship. At the same time, her uncle Mordecai the Jew gains the wrath of one of the King’s advisors, Haman. Incensed, Haman plans a wholesale massacre of the Jewish people’s throughout the kingdom, and through cunning and vaguery gains the King’s royal seal of approval.
When he learns of the plot, Mordecai tells Esther and asks her to intercede for her people. No one know’s she is Jewish but her own family, she might, if she remain silent avoid the bloodshed. Her fate however, is far from certain.
Mordecai is certain, even if Esther is not. He reminds her of the promises to their people saying, “For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14
Esther responds with courage, although she knows if she approaches the king in his court without being requested, it may cost her life.
“Go, gather all the Jews to be found in Susa, and hold a fast on my behalf, and do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my young women will also fast as you do. Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish.” Esther 4:16
To understand the gravity of the situation, we must recall that Esther has been made Queen after the previous Queen was deposed. She is from a different people, a different culture, and there’s every reason to believe she has as good a chance of being executed as not.
There is no security in her position, her title cannot save her.
Taking courage, she goes before the king, in who’s eyes she again finds favor. Through her courage, she does foil the plot of Haman against her people, but it is not without tension and trembling.
The question of Mordecai is important, “And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” We frequently don’t understand the why to our position or circumstance in life. It can become frustrating and vexing to exist in an ebb of uncertainty and confusion, not knowing if your next step will be solid footing or not.
This is the role of faith and trust. To find assurance in what beyond your knowledge.
Each of us may find ourselves in moments where we are challenged to take action when the outcome is dubious. Even if the cause is right and just there is no guarantee it will end well.
Most of us don’t face standing before kings, at least, not yet. Commonly it is the day to day choices and practical reality that Stoicism encourages us to be honest about. Long lines at a grocery store, the ask we get from friends and family we don’t want to answer.
It is for such a time you are here, in this moment and in this place. To do what is difficult and uncomfortable because it is the right thing, because you and you alone have this duty and responsibility. Like Esther our success in these endeavors are uncertain, we can only choose to play the part written for us to perform. We need the courage to say, “If I perish, I perish.” Not only accepting the cards we are dealt, but loving them.
