How to “Build” Your Best Life
If it works for Will Smith, isn’t it worth a try?
I’m a quote collector. Brief words from others inspire me, make me think more deeply about my life, others, and the world around me.
And of all the quotes that I’ve read concerning the road to success, one will forever stick out in my mind.
It comes from a celebrity whom I have researched and come to admire more and more: singer and actor Will Smith.
And I believe that you can use his words to build the life you want. In fact, Smith’s words of wisdom actually use the metaphor of a building.
“You don’t try to build a wall, you don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t say I’m gonna build the biggest baddest wall that’s ever been built. You say, I’m gonna lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid, and you do that every single day, and soon you have a wall. It’s difficult to take the first step when you look how big the task is. The task is never huge to me, it’s always one brick.”
One brick and one brick only: today
So many times in our lives, we focus too far ahead on the road in front of us. And this extreme fixation on the future is often the very reason we metaphorically “trip and fall.”
For example, we want success in our careers, and we want it yesterday. We want fulfilling relationships with our loved ones. We want to resolve the health issues and traumas that either make us miserable or even endanger our lives.
And when we focus on the enormity of the task or the unlikeliness that we will be able to “pull it off,” we want to quit. We decide we don’t have what it takes, what we want will never happen, and most likely, we’re right. What we want doesn’t happen. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Why?
Because trying to peer into the hardships of the future takes our focus away from the present and the power that this second, this minute, this day affords us.
Right now should be our priority. After all, it’s the only real thing we can control.
So look at today as your brick. How will you lay it? Will you make it strong? Durable? Sturdy? Beautifully placed?
That should be your focus. And it’s one that can be applied to all areas of your life.
The brick: your craft and your career
Let’s say your ultimate goal is to rise to prominence in your professional life. Maybe you are starting your own business. Maybe you are looking for a promotion in your company. Maybe you are seeking more notoriety or trying to build a following for your art, your music, or your writing.
Focus on what you can do right now.
For instance, right now you can:
- Begin a website that will direct traffic to your business.
- Work on making that business presentation the very best that it can be.
- Seek out constructive criticism from a fellow artist on your painting.
- Finish creating the lyrics to accompany that awesome riff that came to you unexpectedly.
- Do some research on that article you’ve been meaning to write.
Place your emphasis on what you can do, not what will happen once it’s done. And don’t rush it. Make your “brick” as flawless as you can.
The brick: your personal relationships
The people that surround us give our lives meaning. Our family, our lovers, our friends all add to our happiness and give color to our existence.
So here lies another piece of the wall we should try to build masterfully.
Focus on making this brick the best it can be today.
How?
- Place a five-minute call to that friend with which you’ve been too busy to talk.
- When your lover or spouse comes home from work, respond with a smile, warm touch, and questions about his or her day. And do this while your phone and television are off.
- When you are in the car taking your child to school, talk to them. And listen, really listen.
- Write a secret “love” letter to your lover or child and put it in his or her lunchbox.
- Plan a meal your loved one will enjoy, one that is filled with all his or her favorite foods.
- Buy tickets to a movie your friend or loved one has wanted to see and surprise him or her.
Since these people are ones you likely see most every day, only you can know how to best fashion “your brick.”
So stop worrying about the future of your friendship, your marriage, or your effectiveness as a parent. Worry about the brick you are laying today.
The brick: yourself
What are your personal goals for yourself? Weight loss? Mental Health? Self-care? Quitting an addiction or a toxic relationship?
Build your brick slowly. Be patient. Think only of the moment in front of you.
How?
- At breakfast, eat the foods that will help you achieve your weight loss goals. Don’t think about the temptation of the vending machine that may defeat you every day when you hit that “afternoon slump.” Deal with that “brick” when the moment arises.
- Drive to the gym. Don’t think about what you’ll do when you get there. Just get there. That’s the first step to your goal after all.
- Right this moment, block that toxic person from your social media accounts. Unfollow them.
- Resist the urge to text an ex or an abusive partner. Go somewhere, call someone, or do something right now to take away the temptation.
- Don’t let that feeling of depression keep you in bed. Just get up. Brush your teeth. Comb your hair. Put on some uplifting music.
- On your way home, drive a route that doesn’t make you pass by the ABC store or the bar you usually stop at for happy hour.
- Take a bath. Light some candles. Meditate. Right now, do something that will ease stress, give you peace, or alter your stress levels or anxiety.
The bottom line:
Life is a series of moments. And these moments are where we live. Where the action is created. Where momentum is gained or lost. Where dreams move towards reality or become farther from our grasp.
They are where “our wall” gets closer to being completed or where it crumbles into pieces.
So take action.
You’ve got your mortar. And your trowel. And the most important tool of all.
The present.
Use it to its advantage and send me pics of the finished product.
I’m betting it’s a masterpiece.
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