How to live like a stoic (and become happy)
The hidden mindset that will instantly improve your life
Dealing with uncertainty is harsh.
I always found it difficult to cope with things that happened in my life which I was not able to control. I always felt the necessity to know the outcome, and possibly influence it. Then, one day, I stumbled upon stoicism, and it changed my life.
Stoicism is a complex philosophy, composed of different thoughts on the self and how to deal with the reality that surrounds us. Although, we can summarize it in one phrase: You can only control your actions.
It happens quite a lot that we forget about the power we have, and we end up getting lived by our lives, instead of being the ones that live them.
This is because we are trying so hard to please others, that we forget to care about ourselves, and our own needs. Moreover, by continuing to do that, we prove to them how much power they have on us, and how little power we have on ourselves. We give them the possibility to use us for their interests, causing discomfort and pain.
The problem explained
Stoicism teaches you that you cannot control what others will do. You can control everything you do: your beliefs, your feelings, and your behavior, but not others. They have their thoughts, which you won’t ever know entirely, so you could never understand them.
“The past has no power over the present moment.” ― Eckhart Tolle
The problem is that we are trapped in our imagination. We are trapped by that continuous flow of consciousness that defines us. We come up with excuses, we come up with future scenarios, and we love being narcissistic and negative. We hurt ourselves, and we lose perception of what is happening right now.
What happened to our control?
Uncertainty is painful, but you can’t predict the future. You have to let it happen. Accept the past, be aware of the future, and learn to live in the present. If you want to find happiness and peace, this is what a stoic would suggest to you.
What stoics believe
Zeno, the founder of stoicism, said that any action is right if it is good. Simple as that.
So what is good?
Good is everything virtuous, and virtuous is using your power to change what you can control, and let go of everything else.
You can control your reactions to reality. You can control your reactions to unpredictable events, but you cannot control those events. Neither you can control what others think of you, or themselves.
You can’t think that negative events won’t come, because they will. Your power is to understand how they make you feel, understand why they happened, and then accept them. Learn to live with them, and meet them with peace and rightful perspective.
“The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.” ― Seneca
How to meet the stoic way of thinking
When I discovered stoicism, I was thrilled.
I wanted to have that virtuous life and the peace of mind that comes from it. I watched videos and read many articles on how to become a stoic, but there’s no guide: there can’t be. Any of us think about themselves differently and have different beliefs, hopes, and aspirations. So there can’t be a guide to live like a stoic, but I found some good practices that could help you to reach the right mindset.
Here are 5 things I do to find my virtuosity:
Think about what could go wrong
Each morning, when I wake up, I think about what could go wrong in my life. I spend about 10 minutes on thinking, first what could go wrong on that particular day, and then what could go wrong in the long run.
This helps me getting prepared for any unhappy events, and gives me the power to not overreact in case they happen.
Charge up with power
Don’t start your day negatively! It is important that after the first practice you find something that empowers you.
What I do is taking a cold shower that completely resets my thoughts, and fills me with proactive energy.
If you are interested, here I talk more about cold showers.
Limited Time
After the shower, while I’m drying my hair and getting dressed, I think about the limited amount of time I have. This boosts my energy levels and makes my need for action to grow.
My necessity of doing skyrockets, and helps me with procrastination, which is one of my problems.
Planning
Right before getting into work, I plan my week (if it’s Monday) or my day. I try to understand what I have to do, on what I have an impact, and what doesn’t depend on me. Also, I try to solve as fast as possible the things that I cannot control, so I will feel more in charge for the rest of the day.
If you want to know how I plan my day, here is an article about it.
Journaling
Lastly, in the evening, I usually journal for about 10 minutes. Sometimes I use the 3GoodThings technique, which consists of writing three good things I have in my life. Some other times, I just do simple journaling.
I try to focus on my achievements, and not on what others did that facilitated my life. What others do doesn’t depend on me so it may not happen in the future.
Summing Up
These are my good practices to help me meet my stoic side. You can get some inspiration from them, or follow them even if they work for you.
Keep in mind that you become what you think. Your character is defined by the work you do on yourself every day, and this should always depend on your virtuosity.
Also, if you want to know more about this mindset, you should read “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle.
You can do it.
