How to Live Like a Monk Without Deliberately Living Like A Monk

From someone who has been living like this for six years

You seem like a monk to me was the words he said after telling him about how I’ve lived my life in the last six years.

Although he knew it, the part about me not being in an intimate relationship and having sex was the shocking part that made him make the statement.

He said that because he wondered how I could be on my own without friends and sex partners and still not worry. And until I meet the right people in the same direction as me, I wouldn’t have friends and a sex partner, and I’m ok with it. He was wondering why I didn’t feel lonely.

This conversation ensued with the only person I called a friend in real life since I arrived in Europe in 2017. Bastian is his name. He’s the co-founder of Orderbird and lives in Berlin, Germany. I met him when I went there in 2019, and out of our meeting and conversation, we became friends.

He had reached me on the phone to talk about a project he’s looking forward to embarking on, which he feels I’ll be of benefit to him. And asking about my goals for the year and explaining them, he made the statement, “You seem like a monk to me.”

That was the moment it occurred to me. Omg! I’ve been living like a monk with no idea about it. Alright. Now I know.

I haven’t always lived like this. Something called for it

This type of life started with me in 2016. My last sexual relationship had ended a year earlier. All through that year, I didn’t date anyone. But, I had friends, and you know the kind of guys, guys thing that we do as young men.

I was doing all of it, smoking and doing alcohol on the side. Although I had become fed up and wanted to stop that life, I couldn’t do it right away because I was still in the same environment that gave me the habit.

So, immediately after I relocated to Europe, I stopped. I never smoked or drank again.

But, not until my bosses abused me from a restaurant job that gave me protection to be a legal residence in Spain my monk life wouldn’t start. My bosses were using me because they had given me the job contract to process my residence documents, and until I served the term of the agreement, I wasn’t free to be in the country. So, by that, they wanted to take advantage of me.

They’d not pay my salary at the end of the month as they should normally. And not willing to take it anymore, I started fighting for my right. And that brought hatred and abuse.

At the period, I looked back at what I’ve been through since birth and what I’m still going through, and I asked myself, Is this my reality?

Was I only born to suffer, die and leave like that?

The answer I had was no, prompting my action. And searching for answers, I chanced on self-improvement, which later helped me discover myself and my overall purpose in life. From that day, I started making changes to my life. I changed all the friends I had. Not deliberately. But my new life wouldn’t allow me to have anything to do with them.

Aside from that, if you weren’t someone with the same awakening as me, we couldn’t be friends. I haven’t had a sexual partner since that time, too, because I haven’t met someone with the same self-awareness as me.

Drugs and alcohol are no more in the picture for me. I have lived all by myself in the last six years, and I haven’t had a problem with it. It’s better to be alone than be with people who aren’t in the same life direction as you. And until I meet the right people, I won’t make friends nor have sex. Because what I’ve found — my purpose is more significant than sex, friends, and any other thing in the world, and that’s what I’m willing to stick with until the end of time, even if it’ll cost me everything.

Why? Because, on working myself, especially dealing with “my why,” I realized going to the graveyard without fulfilling why I’m in the world will be my greatest regret, and I don’t want that to happen.

So, either I fulfill it and die happily or focus on what I lack — friends, sex partner, and I’ve chosen the first.

So, I have no problem living all by myself to fulfill my purpose even though I need a partner and some fantastic friends.

“There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.” — Oprah Winfrey

You can also live like a monk without effort

If you look at what led me to live like a monk without knowing, what comes to your mind?

Does it appear to you that living like a monk is difficult or not?

Do you believe you can also live this way?

Yes, you can. I know you know you can. How?

By searching for yourself — the reason you’re here on the planet.

I didn’t deliberately make up my mind to live this way. Instead, I found my purpose, and that necessitated it.

I don’t think I would have been able to live all these years without friends and sex partners effortlessly. I didn’t even know that was the life I was living, remember. And if it hadn’t been a conversation with a friend and he made the statement, I wouldn’t know.

The same is what can happen to you. All you need to do is search for who you are and the work you’re brought into the world to do, and in the course of executing it, you’ll activate your monk lifestyle.

Why? Because you wouldn’t care about the world and its fantasies anymore. Your purpose will be your priority whenever the day is here. So you won’t bother yourself with certain things in life — women, friends, material stuff, etc., although they matter.

You’ll only allow those things into your life when they fit perfectly and can help you become the better version of yourself in fulfillment of your purpose. Just like I‘ve experienced, it’s easy to live the monk life without effort if you discover who you are and your purpose in the world. So, you can do it, too.

“Whenever someone is in love, they almost magically look better. I need to be in love with myself to feel better.” — James Altucher

Beware of these things on your way to your best self

Whenever individuals have discovered themselves and are willing to walk the path, life comes with its ugly face to test.

It does it with problems — finance, family, friends, partners. And it uses these avenues because these are the people closest to you.

Bear it in mind, not allow their negative energy to sway you because they will if you let them. You never had a problem with them. But, they suddenly became your enemies when you decided to follow your true path in life.

You’ve changed. You no longer live like the old ways anymore. You don’t hang out anymore — in the case of friends. You don’t use to do things like you used to anymore.

This change will cause them to negatively affect you because you’re no longer the person they know.

The best way? Keep your cool, use your mind, and follow your course silently. Don’t bother yourself engaging in unnecessary brawls with people if they offend you. They do those things deliberately to confuse you with the intent to bring you back to the old life. So, beware.

You also want to make sure you make the necessary changes in habits that’ll allow you to be yourself and fulfill your purpose.

Like myself, I knew I wasn’t financially sound, and people weren’t willing to help me because they believed I had chosen a different path.

Instead of eating three meals a day, I do one. Because I have got courses to take to refine my skills in fulfilling my purpose, and it’s money. So, I’ve cut down costs on food. I don’t buy clothes as I used to and I’m ok with it.

What are clothes when we’re talking about something bigger than life itself?

And these are some of the ways I’ve used to maintain myself because I know it isn’t going to remain like this forever. I’ll reap the fruit of my labor in due time.

But, until that, the frugal life is my life. But, of course, you also want to use the tricks if you have to succeed.

“Gravitate towards your goals and avoid negative people and situations.” — Phillip Crone

Final thoughts

Each of us can live a monk life without effort. The way is to find your purpose and fulfill it, which in the course of fulfilling it, everything away from this purpose will be out of the picture for you without exerting force to get them out.

It’s how I’ve lived my life in the last six years, and you too can.

I have no idea about any other way apart from it. But, if you know one, don’t hesitate to let me know because I’m open to learning.

Venga. Become the monk you’ve dreamt of becoming today.

It’s possible.

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