How To Live and Age More Gracefully — Practice Wu Wei

Sail your boat, don’t row it.

I started this article sitting in a cafe overlooking the harbor of a small fishing village called Anstruther on the northeast coast of Scotland. I had just finished a walk along the coastline, admiring the wild beauty of the North Sea.

The wind kicked up small whitecaps on the water, the salty smell of the sea washing over me. The air was cool and fresh — a beautiful fall day. Observing this seemingly endless body of water filled with mystery and power was mesmerizing and healing.

My leather jacket was buttoned up, hands in my pockets, and I was thinking about Wu Wei — the Taoist principle of effortless action and how it can help us live and age more gracefully. It's been on my mind for a week now, triggered by listening to a lecture by noted philosopher and writer Alan Watts.

Wu Wei literally translated means no action in Chinese. However, in Taoist philosophy, it means taking no action that is not in harmony with the natural flow of life. Alan Watts likens Wu Wei to sailing a boat, not rowing it — going with the wind and bringing yourself in harmony with the natural order of the Universe.

I think of Wu Wei in terms of two things.

1. Acceptance of the present moment.

Letting go of what I think should be happening and embracing it without resistance is acceptance of the present moment. It means I focus on what's within my control — where I put my attention, my choices, and how I show up and treat myself.

Now, more than ever, I practice acceptance by not beating myself up for making a mistake — instead, I ask what can be learned from this situation while letting go of the egoic part of me that says you wouldn't have made that error if you had only done "x."

For example, I got temporarily lost the other day while driving. After finding myself on a dead-end road in a town I've never been to, I got back on track without any drama.

In my younger days, something like this would wind me up, and I'd get agitated and annoyed. That is not the case anymore. Now I laugh at myself and focus on a solution without wasting effort and energy on self-torture.

Sure, it's a quick moment in time and not a big deal to get lost driving, but tiny moments make up our lives. So to live and age gracefully, start by mastering the small stuff.

How we react to the low-hanging fruit predicts how we will respond to the more significant challenges life throws us.

2. Finding the flow.

For me, the flow is a state of intuition — a place within where the thinking, talkative mind is quiet. Athletes often experience flow by being deeply immersed in the present moment by playing golf, tennis, or running. Musicians, too, experience the flow state by getting lost in the music — allowing their natural ability and muscle memory to take over.

Time and space disappear — only the present moment exists.

I've experienced flow states doing all the above activities. Flow experiences are incredibly liberating because the ego, the thinking mind, takes a back seat, and the more conscious and flowing inner self takes over.

In his seminal book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (I dare you to say that out loud ten times!) explains what flow is.

“A state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience is so enjoyable that people will continue to do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.”

Every day, I do my best to build the conditions for a flow state by doing things like:

• Practicing thirty minutes of meditation.
• Setting my intentions for the day.
• Slowing down when I catch myself trying to get too much done too fast.
• Observing my thoughts and noticing how I am feeling.
• Letting go of any negative thoughts or attitudes.

The Guanzi, an ancient Chinese political and philosophical text says,

“When your body is not aligned The inner power will not come. When you are not tranquil within, Your mind will not be well-ordered. Align your body, assist the inner power, Then it will gradually come on its own.”

I think practicing Wu Wei begins by paying attention and noticing what's going on within and around us. How will we realize we're “rowing our boat,” forcing things, feeling unsettled, or out of sync if we don't pay keen attention?

But Lao Tzu, the Chinese philosopher, and writer explains how to practice Wu Wei much better than I can.

“The supreme good is like water, which nourishes all of creation without trying to compete with it. It gathers in the low places unpopular with men. Thus it is like the Tao.

Live in accordance with the nature of things. In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In dealing with others, be fair and generous. In governing, do not try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present. When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.

One who lives in accordance with nature does not go against the way of things. He moves in harmony with the present moment, always knowing the truth of just what to do.”

I love the second to last line. "One who lives in accordance with nature does not go against the way of things."

Wu Wei — ancient wisdom that helps us live and age more gracefully.

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