Summary

The article outlines a three-step mindfulness technique for releasing negative thoughts and feelings by observing, accepting, and letting them go.

Abstract

The article presents a mindfulness-based method for managing negative thoughts and emotions, emphasizing its effectiveness compared to other techniques the author has tried. The method involves first acknowledging the negative thought or feeling without judgment, then allowing it to exist without resistance, and finally releasing it gently. This approach is grounded in the principles of mindfulness and meditation, helping individuals recognize the transient nature of their thoughts and feelings and cultivate a kinder relationship with themselves. The author notes that by practicing this technique, negative emotions can dissipate quickly, leading to a sense of lightness and freedom.

Opinions

The author finds this technique more effective than previous methods like positive reframing and affirmations.
Mindfulness and meditation are key in developing the awareness necessary to observe thoughts and feelings objectively.
The process encourages self-compassion and non-judgment, which are crucial for letting go of negative emotions.
The author appreciates the compatibility of this technique with their ongoing mindfulness and meditation practice.
There is an acknowledgment that the negative thought or feeling may dissipate at any stage of the process, sometimes even before the final step of release.
The technique is described as gentle, contrasting with the potential harshness of other methods that might involve self-criticism.
The author expresses gratitude towards Rose Elliot for introducing this method in her book "Every Breath You Take — How to Breathe Your Way to a Mindful Life."

How to Let Go of a Negative Thought in 3 Easy Steps

This technique works better than others I’ve tried.

I’ve tried many techniques for letting go of negative thoughts or feelings over the years, including re-framing negative thoughts in a positive way and repeating positive affirmations, with variable success.

This is a technique I came across recently while I was learning more about mindfulness and meditation. I’ve found it to be more effective than other techniques I’ve tried. Here’s how it works in 3 small steps.

1. Observe the thought or feeling

The first step is to recognize that you’re thinking the thought or feeling the emotion in the first place. So often we ignore or push away our thoughts and feelings by distracting ourselves or denying that they are there.

Mindfulness, meditation and yoga can all help you to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings as they arise, without judging them.

Once you realize that you’re having a negative feeling, say to yourself: “The feeling of discouragement (or disappointment or whatever) is present.” This gives you a certain distance from your feeling — you’re recognizing it but you’re not getting too involved with it.

This is also something you learn by practicing mindfulness and meditation. You realize you are not your feelings. You are not your thoughts. You are so much more than your thoughts and feelings.

The “observer” part of you can see these feelings and thoughts for what they are: passing, transient, temporary.

So, the first step is to look at your current thought or feeling as objectively as possible from the point of view of the observer within.

2. Let the thought or feeling be

Just let the thought or feeling be for a few moments. If you can feel it in your body, perhaps in the pit of your stomach or the middle of your chest, bring your attention to that area of your body and breathe deeply to a count of four on the inhale and four on the exhale.

If you can’t feel it in your body, don’t worry. Just breathe deeply and let the feeling be, accepting it for what it is and fully accepting that it is present.

It’s almost as if you’re making friends with your thought or feeling.

3. Gently let the thought or feeling go

Once you’ve observed the thought or feeling, gently let it go. Release it into the universe.

It doesn’t have to affect your life today. It doesn’t have to define you. Just let it go without judging or condemning yourself.

This can be quite hard. At first, I observed that I was being quite critical of myself at this point, so I’ve been working on being gentle with myself and just letting the thought or feeling go, without any judgment.

The more I’ve practiced this technique, the more I’ve found that the thought or feeling disappears quite soon after I bring my attention to it. Sometimes, it even disappears in the second stage, without me needing to let it go (or perhaps I’ve let it go without completely realizing it!).

Personal Experience

I’ve found this approach works much better than others I’ve tried, because the thought or feeling just seems to melt away. It’s good that this process ties in with my mindfulness and meditation practice. I also like the fact that it’s a gentle technique that encourages me to be kind to myself.

Once I’ve let go of a thought or feeling, I feel lighter and freer. It’s as if the negative feeling was trying to trap me in a downward spiral of negativity, but now that I’ve let it go, I feel as if all that negative energy has been taken away, leaving me lighter in spirit.

It does seem like a counter-intuitive technique because it seems like we’re focusing on our negative feelings at first. But we’re doing so in an observational way, so we’re not getting too attached to the feeling.

This stops us from focusing on and then obsessing about the thought or feeling, which can happen all too easily if we allow such a thought to take over our mind.

I’m very grateful to Rose Elliot for sharing this technique in her book, Every Breath You Take.¹ It’s an awesome book to read if you’d like to learn more about using mindfulness and meditation techniques to deal with life better.

Reference

¹ Every Breath You Take — How to Breathe Your Way to a Mindful Life by Rose Elliot