How to know when your child is ready for their bed

Summary

The article discusses the transition from bed-sharing to a child sleeping independently, outlining signs that indicate a child's readiness for their own bed.

Abstract

The author initially opposed the idea of bed-sharing but found it necessary when their daughter began waking up frequently and was unable to sleep alone after two weeks in their new home. The family adopted bed-sharing as a solution to ensure everyone could get adequate rest. Over time, the child began showing signs of readiness to return to her own bed, such as seeking space, showing interest in her bedroom, and testing the independence of sleeping in her own bed. The article emphasizes the importance of observing a child's cues and respecting their need for security during the transition, while also supporting diverse parenting choices regarding co-sleeping and bed-sharing.

Opinions

The author initially had a firm stance against bed-sharing but found it necessary and beneficial for their family's sleep.
Bed-sharing is seen as a temporary solution rather than a permanent arrangement, with the child eventually seeking independence.
The author believes that children will express their readiness for their own bed through their behavior, such as showing interest in their bedroom and playing with their bed.
The article suggests that parents should trust their instincts and their child's cues when deciding to transition to a separate bed.
The author supports the idea that each family should make their own decisions about sleep arrangements without judgment.
The author values the importance of a child's bedroom being a safe and comfortable space, emphasizing the need for baby-proofing.
The article conveys that the transition from bed-sharing to independent sleeping is a gradual process that should be nurtured with patience and understanding.

Our journey from bed-sharing to our child seeking her own space

Before any of us have children we have this blueprint in our minds of how we’ll parent. One of the parenting decisions I said I would never do was bed-share.

When we moved into our new home our daughter slept well by herself for two weeks. After that, she couldn’t sleep through the night and was very upset sleeping by herself. Instinctively, I do not believe in the “cry-it-out” method. Babies and toddlers can not regulate their emotions. They rely on their caregivers. Each night we were waking up several times and hardly sleeping. It was exhausting. My husband and I needed a decent night’s sleep. So we did what we said we’d never do — brought her into bed with us. We were all finally getting the rest we needed to function.

As time passed I started seeing signs that she was showing us that she was ready to sleep in her own room again.

Here are signs they may be ready for their own bed.

1. They’re annoyed by you

While she slept in our bed there were many nights I’d end up getting kicked in the eye. If I ever have a detached retina — I’m going to go ahead and pin-point it to this period of my life. I’ve also taken some blows to the stomach and bladder. I got hit so hard once that I actually passed my first (and my only) bladder stone. I was starting to get sick and tired of getting beat up.

This was a sign that didn’t hit me (no pun intended) right away. My daughter’s tossing and turning, kicking us — was a sign that she wanted space. We mistook this behavior for her not being able to sleep versus the fact that we were crowding her space.

2. They start having an interest in their bedroom

If you have a bedroom set up for your child or you’re getting ready to set one up, have them spend time in that space. This will help them to get comfortable. They’ll start to feel like it’s “theirs.” If you haven’t “baby proofed” anything in their room yet — now is the time to do so. Make sure anything harmful is out of reach. Make sure dressers are anchored to the wall to avoid falling. And make sure electrical outlets have covers. At various points throughout the day, we’d spend time in our daughter’s room with her. We’d play with toys and read books together. We always end the day in her room for her bedtime routine.

3. They start testing the waters with their bed

The big “ah-ha” moment for us was when we decided to convert her crib into a toddler bed. Our daughter could climb in and out of her bed with ease. She had a lot of fun doing this! She was finally in control of her ability to come and go. She didn’t need to depend on us to put her in and take her out of a crib. She enjoyed the independence and this was becoming fun for her.

4. Watch for their cues

In a blink of an eye, children are ready to tackle anything! Each night we did our typical routine of bath-time and reading our books. One night — out of the blue, she was starting to get sleepy. She climbed into her bed, covered herself up with her blanket and drifted away to sleep. I couldn’t believe my eyes. In true overprotective stalker parent fashion — I stayed in her room for a while. Before I left her room I put out some books and toys — in case she woke up. I even woke up in the middle of the night to check on her. She was still sleeping. That morning we woke up hearing our little girl giggling. We went into her room and saw her looking through her books — enjoying herself. She’s been sleeping in her room ever since.

5. Trust the process

Even though our daughter has been sleeping in her room, now and again she does wake up crying. Judging by her cues, she’s had a bad dream or she’s scared from the heavy wind and thunderstorms. In these situations, we’ll bring her to bed with us. As our child’s caregivers — we are their safe place. I still remember being small and running into my parents’ room scared in the middle of the night. I felt so protected. As I grew, I’d spend less and less time in their bed, often going back into my room once a storm or fear from a bad dream passed. We plan to nurture the need for security our daughter has for as long as she needs it.

Even though I said I’d never bed-share doesn’t mean I am against it for other families. I support a family’s decision to co-sleep or bed-share. I also support a family’s decision to not have a child in their bed at all. This is a judgment-free zone.

If you’re wondering if it’s time to transition your child to their bed follow your instincts. Be open to the cue’s your child gives. No matter what stage you’re at in your journey, enjoy these sweet moments with your children.