avatarKate Nelson

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unsynchronized. I feel divided and hateful as they rage against each other to gain dominance. It’s not enough to contain the warring within myself. I subconsciously take it into the world where my warrior and child fight with the warrior and child in others.</p><p id="cb28">I am vulnerable in this place. Bit by bit, hurt upon hurt, the heart of the child retreats. Innocence is lost; the warrior becomes embittered. The heart closes. Now <i>I</i> am a contributor to a cruel world as I turn my focus to me and mine. I take on the philosophy that the world owes me an enormous emotional, spiritual payback because of all the suffering I have incurred. I say I am seeking justice. But I am lying to myself. In reality, I’m seeking revenge and dominance. It terrifies me to look at this in myself. It scares me to admit it out loud.</p><h2 id="2ca1">How Can I Stay Open?</h2><p id="ccb6">In the healing process, I find it effective to list all the solutions to problems regardless of how ridiculous they may seem. In answering the question of why I should keep my heart open, there are two:</p><h2 id="5585">Selfish reasons</h2><p id="2aa9">My friend is the recipient of a great deal of relentless cruelty from a former relationship. Amid tears, she cries, “I don’t get it! Why does he keep doing these things? If only for selfish reasons, why doesn’t he act decently?”</p><p id="0042">I can benefit from keeping my heart open — if only for selfish reasons.</p><p id="6416">I can manipulate people by using a faux vulnerability to gain their approval, sympathy, and support. This façade of authenticity is an illusion, an insidious way for the warrior or child to take charge. Worst of all, it adds to the cruelty in the

Options

world.</p><h2 id="60f4">Soul discovery</h2><p id="1f6e">The other option, and for me, the only option, is in striving to maintain an open heart. It is a reward that manifests itself in peace. The child and warrior work together to balance the soul. Opposition has no place. Wholeness reigns.</p><p id="1554">Just as I subconsciously take my internal cacophony into the world when I am in disharmony with myself, I subconsciously take an open heart into the world when I am at peace. I can’t fake this. I don’t have to work at it. People feel the energy of openness and love just as they feel the walls and hate.</p><h2 id="d276">The price</h2><p id="732c">An open heart comes with a price: change, choice, and responsibilities:</p><p id="9b4e">I must be willing to do my internal work. I must be honest with myself. I must be willing to let my guard down. I must allow myself to feel hurt without retaliation. I must learn to make choices where both the warrior and child have a voice.</p><p id="c88d" type="7">Having a tender heart in a tough world is a superpower — Author Unknown</p><p id="3398">One of my coolest, most joyful discoveries was the day I realized I am not a victim. I have choice. Being open-hearted in a world increasingly cruel is not about changing the world; <i>it’s about me changing</i>. I can choose. I do choose.</p><p id="0bd8">The way I see it, it’s the only way to create a world where we can live peacefully. The virtues are not stand-alones. They do not operate in a vacuum. To live with an open heart requires the help of all the virtues. Seeking the high road is never easy. The high road is the <i>only road</i> I can take for the world I leave for those that follow.</p></article></body>

How To Keep An Open Heart

Self-Reflection Marathon — Day 5: How can you keep your heart open in a world that keeps giving you reasons to close it?

Photo by Robina Weermeijer on Unsplash

Softness is not weakness. It takes courage to stay delicate in a world this cruel — Beau Taplin

Today’s prompt is indeed an impetus for self-reflection. Truthfully, it’s been a day of intense wrestling with myself. In part because I don’t want to come off as self-righteous. And in part, because the whole idea of living kindly, openly, is my heart’s yearning. I reach for this because the world we live in doesn’t answer the cry of my soul.

What is an open heart?

It is a paradox. It is the heart of a young child with the mindset of a fierce warrior. The child retains innocence, curiosity, and creativity. The warrior protects all the goodness of the child’s heart with determination, wisdom, and courage. When the two are in harmony, they create a positive, transforming symbiotic bond.

Problems arise when the warrior and the child in me disagree on how to handle cruelty. If harmony creates alignment with goodness, it follows that I am out of alignment when I am at war with myself and everyone else.

I am well acquainted with how miserable I am when the warrior and child are unsynchronized. I feel divided and hateful as they rage against each other to gain dominance. It’s not enough to contain the warring within myself. I subconsciously take it into the world where my warrior and child fight with the warrior and child in others.

I am vulnerable in this place. Bit by bit, hurt upon hurt, the heart of the child retreats. Innocence is lost; the warrior becomes embittered. The heart closes. Now I am a contributor to a cruel world as I turn my focus to me and mine. I take on the philosophy that the world owes me an enormous emotional, spiritual payback because of all the suffering I have incurred. I say I am seeking justice. But I am lying to myself. In reality, I’m seeking revenge and dominance. It terrifies me to look at this in myself. It scares me to admit it out loud.

How Can I Stay Open?

In the healing process, I find it effective to list all the solutions to problems regardless of how ridiculous they may seem. In answering the question of why I should keep my heart open, there are two:

Selfish reasons

My friend is the recipient of a great deal of relentless cruelty from a former relationship. Amid tears, she cries, “I don’t get it! Why does he keep doing these things? If only for selfish reasons, why doesn’t he act decently?”

I can benefit from keeping my heart open — if only for selfish reasons.

I can manipulate people by using a faux vulnerability to gain their approval, sympathy, and support. This façade of authenticity is an illusion, an insidious way for the warrior or child to take charge. Worst of all, it adds to the cruelty in the world.

Soul discovery

The other option, and for me, the only option, is in striving to maintain an open heart. It is a reward that manifests itself in peace. The child and warrior work together to balance the soul. Opposition has no place. Wholeness reigns.

Just as I subconsciously take my internal cacophony into the world when I am in disharmony with myself, I subconsciously take an open heart into the world when I am at peace. I can’t fake this. I don’t have to work at it. People feel the energy of openness and love just as they feel the walls and hate.

The price

An open heart comes with a price: change, choice, and responsibilities:

I must be willing to do my internal work. I must be honest with myself. I must be willing to let my guard down. I must allow myself to feel hurt without retaliation. I must learn to make choices where both the warrior and child have a voice.

Having a tender heart in a tough world is a superpower — Author Unknown

One of my coolest, most joyful discoveries was the day I realized I am not a victim. I have choice. Being open-hearted in a world increasingly cruel is not about changing the world; it’s about me changing. I can choose. I do choose.

The way I see it, it’s the only way to create a world where we can live peacefully. The virtues are not stand-alones. They do not operate in a vacuum. To live with an open heart requires the help of all the virtues. Seeking the high road is never easy. The high road is the only road I can take for the world I leave for those that follow.

Authenticity
Vulnerability
Self-awareness
Spirituality
Growth
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