How To Increase Your Happiness with Voluntary Discomfort
It’s Not as Counterintuitive as it Sounds
Isn’t technology great? Did you know they have cars now, not only with seat warmers but also seat coolers for those hot summer days when the leather burns your butt? Tesla’s have auto-driving mode and will parallel park for you. There are smart refrigerators that will let you know what ingredients you are running low on and when the expiration date is coming up. It will even look up recipes and read them to you while you cook.
There are smart thermostats to make sure you are never too hot or too cold and there is Alexa who is at your beck and call to answer all your burning questions and unburden you from menial tasks like switching the lights on and off and turning on your favorite music.
Technology is quickly eliminating all the mundane, annoying, and nuisance inconveniences that make life so unbearable.
But then again, is it?
If that was true, wouldn’t we all be walking around with giant smiles and blowing kisses at one another unable to contain our bursting joy?
I don’t see that in my world.
Rather, I see this land of convenience we have created making us lazy, coddled and unable to tolerate the most minor discomforts that present during any given day.
What Would the Stoics Do?
When I first heard about the Stoic philosophy practice of voluntary discomfort several years ago, I thought it was absurd. Sleeping on the floor or underdressing for cold weather seemed counterproductive and antithetical to living a happy life.
As someone who studies happiness and is always looking for ways to boost happiness, this practice did not immediately resonate with me. But over the years, I have opened my mind to see the true value of voluntary discomfort and that it is a happiness booster.
Think about it. How many times have you stepped out of your comfort zone and felt amazing afterward? Most often when we do something we are afraid of or that made us uncomfortable and come out on the other side, we get a huge confidence boost. We expand the limits of our comfort zone each time we practice discomfort.
Using technology to take the inconveniences out of life is making us soft-skinned, cranky, intolerant, and indolent.
Let’s take a lesson from the Stoics and see how their ideas can toughen us up while making us happier. Here are some ways I have practiced voluntary discomfort and the benefits I have received from them.
Fasting
Doing a water fast for 24–72 hours is a great way to practice voluntary discomfort. Our culture has become accustomed to having access to food all hours of the day. Most of us have formed mindless eating habits that we hardly realize how often we are reaching for a snack or popping something into our mouths. Doing a water fast can bring awareness to those habits along with a recognition of what hunger truly feels like.
It’s liberating to recognize that hunger comes and goes just like everything else in life. Beyond the discomfort comes a greater clarity of mind and enhanced focus. This may not come in your first fasting experience, but when done regularly, it gets easier, and the mind clarifies.
There are also health benefits to fasting. Even though our bodies eliminate toxins as they come in, our world is so polluted that our bodies get overwhelmed with the number of toxins it has to process. Eliminating toxins from food gives the digestive system a rest and a chance to catch up. I often combine my fasting with an extended detox period where I limit my food intake and consume mainly organic fruits, vegetables, and rice for seven days. If you’re interested in trying this, I go into more detail in this article.
Cold Showers
Taking a cold shower is something most people would cringe at. That’s why it’s a great way to practice voluntary discomfort. You can start out with just a minute or two and work your way up to a full shower in cold water. It’s a great way to feel invigorated and energized. It’s uncomfortable for sure. But you slowly build your tolerance and come to enjoy the benefits of the cold. You come out feeling like a rockstar!
Cold showers build your emotional resilience. You increase the size of your comfort zone by tolerating colder temperatures. You are expanding your limits while simultaneously chasing the blues away. This article on Microsoft News reports:
Cold showers have been found to relieve symptoms of depression by stimulating “the blue spot” on the brain that releases noradrenaline, a chemical which plays a role in alleviating depression.
There are several other health benefits from cold showers such as increasing immunity, speeding muscle recovery from workouts, and improving circulation.
Saunas
Just as extreme cold is uncomfortable, so too is extreme heat, making it another great way to practice voluntary discomfort. With repetition, the heat becomes more tolerable. When I first began doing saunas, I needed distraction such as reading or listening to podcasts or music.
Now I try to challenge myself by seeing if I can just be with the discomfort. Meditating while sitting in the sauna is difficult but a great way to see the habits of the mind. It’s easy to see how the mind can increase or decrease the discomfort by what it focuses on.
Saunas offer additional health benefits as well. They are great for detoxing and weight loss along with reducing blood pressure and improving mitochondrial function. For a comprehensive list of the health benefits of saunas, check out the Energy Blueprint by Dr. Ari Whitten.
Don’t Use Your Car A/C or Heat
Depending on where you live and the season you’re in, you could apply this one to whichever was most uncomfortable for that time of year. I live in Los Angeles, so not using the air conditioning in the car is quite a challenge in the summer months. I like to make it a game and see how long I can last without turning it on.
I used to get grumpy and irritable in hot weather. It saps my energy and makes me fatigued. But since I began occasionally not using my car A/C, I have noticed I am more tolerant of the heat. It still drains my energy, but it takes longer for it to affect my mood the way it used to.
I have become less reactive to external circumstances and far more tolerant of adverse conditions.
Give Up Alcohol Or Caffeine for a Month
There was a time when I couldn’t imagine going out to a bar and not having a drink. There was also a time when I couldn’t go a day without caffeine. Giving either up for a month was more than uncomfortable.
But having practiced it, I learned over time, that I could do without them and the discomfort faded away. Going to a bar and not having a drink is not a miserable experience anymore. I don’t sit there the whole time wishing I could have a drink. But I used to. And I got through the discomfort. I learned to socialize and quickly forget that I wasn’t drinking and that the discomfort is temporary. It fluctuates between moments of extreme discomfort to moments of ease and contentment.
If alcohol or caffeine isn’t a temptation for you, choose something that is. Maybe it’s sugar or shopping or your smartphone or any other pleasure you feel you can’t live without. Choose one and try to live without it. See what it’s like. See how you cope with not having it. Where does your mind take you?
Is This Just Masochism Masked in Philosophy?
The Stoics suggested things like sleeping on the floor, dressing in shabby clothes, and living a day in poverty to practice and prepare for a day when they may become a reality.
None of these things or the list I’ve suggested above sound like fun. They surely don’t sound like they could make you happier. But in fact, voluntary discomfort has the power to make you more resilient and even make you happier in the process.
Gratitude
Voluntary discomfort increases feelings of gratitude. It’s hard not feel grateful for hot water, food, and air conditioning after going without them or experiencing the opposite for some time. It builds an appreciation for what we have already. Having our basic needs met is something we take for granted most days. We are accustomed to comfort.
But the Stoics advocated being prepared for the worst, so if the time comes we know how to handle it. In the words of Seneca,
If you would not have a man flinch when the crisis comes, train him before it comes.
We cannot know what the future holds or what misfortunes we may endure. But these practices will build our willpower and strengthen our fortitude while reminding us of the good fortunes we are blessed with on a daily basis.
As the saying goes, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.”
Gratitude always prospers in the absence of our most basic needs. With increased practice, you will find your mind appreciating the little things and letting go of the material things that never bring lasting happiness.
Epicurus reveals the power of gratitude in this statement,
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.
Resilience
Voluntary discomfort increases our resilience. This is the measure of how quickly we bounce back from stress or negative experiences. By practicing discomfort, we are building up that muscle, making it easier to recover next time. This teaching is lacking in our educational system but something the Stoics emphasized often.
“In this way you must understand how laughable it is to say, ‘Tell me what to do!’ What advice could I possibly give? No, a far better request is, ‘Train my mind to adapt to any circumstance.’…In this way, if circumstances take you off script…you won’t be desperate for a new prompting.”
— Epictetus
Patience
I have found I’ve become much more patient since practicing discomfort. By building a greater tolerance for being uncomfortable, we naturally increase our patience. When we feel uncomfortable, we watch the mind go through many phases, from distraction to resistance to delusion. If we stay with it long enough, we finally get to acceptance. This process is strengthening patience.
Nothing great is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen. — Epictetus
Discipline
With distractions coming at us from all directions these days, it’s more difficult than ever to muster discipline. Voluntary discomfort will help you master your discipline.
The Buddha said,
The person who masters himself through self control and discipline is truly undefeatable.
And Marcus Aurelius said,
Be tolerant of others and strict with yourself.
Discipline is something we can all use more of. It helps us stay on track when we want to give up and this gives us a sense of accomplishment.
Humility
Putting ourselves in situations that are uncomfortable leaves us vulnerable. It forces us to swallow our pride and become humble. We’re testing our limits, and this means we have to get underneath the ego. While this can feel destabilizing, it is exactly what will lead us to greater happiness.
Author, Ryan Holiday wrote a whole book on this topic called Ego is the Enemy. In it, he writes about the value of always being a student and willing to put in the work that our ego tells us we’re too good for.
“Humility is what keeps us there, concerned we don’t know enough and that we must continue to study. Ego rushes to the end, rationalizes that patience is for losers (wrongly seeing it as a weakness), and assumes we’re good enough to give our talents a go in the world.”
The ego will try to undermine us at every turn. Each time we practice voluntary discomfort, we are lifting the hood of the ego, getting underneath the armor and finding our true strengths and capabilities.
It is here we find that happiness exists within us at every moment. It is not something that comes from the outside world or external circumstances. It is a light in every one of us that is always shining. We just have to get beneath the darkness that is the ego that is guarding and blocking it.
Ryan writes poignantly in his book,
“What is rare is not raw talent, skill, or even confidence, but humility, diligence, and self-awareness.”
This is what we are practicing to get better at when we practice voluntary discomfort.
To summarize the benefits of this seemingly counterintuitive practice, we are building:
- Gratitude
- Resilience
- Patience
- Discipline
- Humility
A life with more of these qualities is a life of greater inner peace and happiness. That is a life worth living.
Debby Germino is a freelance tv/film editor who enjoys writing about mindfulness, health, and strategies for happier living. She writes a bi-weekly newsletter and is open to comments and suggestions on any of these topics.
