How to Improve Your Ability to Delay Gratification

When our High-speed Internet society expects instant results

We expect everything to happen fast these days.

Now that internet service offers an incredible high-speed response to our every whim, it’s hard not to expect everything else to come in the blink of an eye.

Have you noticed how excruciating it feels to wait one minute for a page to refresh? We’ve trained our brains to expect instantaneous results. We want it now. Sometimes even now isn’t good enough. “I wanted it yesterday” is a common lament, which speaks to our impatience level.

It causes problems in the real, live world. The pace of nature is considerably slower. Human beings aren’t as fast as an internet connection. We need to recalibrate every time we log off of our devices.

How do we temper our craving for instant gratification? How do we restore impulse control? We can take steps to delay our desires, thus rewiring our neural pathways and improving our ability to appreciate the present moment.

Here are a few ways to slow things down and better integrate the information we receive:

Write longhand every day

Even if it’s only one page, anything handwritten will improve your memory and provide a permanent file for future reference. It slows you down and helps with focus. Expect to make mistakes, helping you accept your natural pace.

I started writing by hand again and notice how strange it feels. My hand can only move so fast. And if I make a mistake, I cross it out and start over. I don’t have a computer thinking for me.

When the computer no longer corrects spelling and grammar, we get to shake off the dust gathering in our frontal lobes to process this information.

Use offline resources to store and access information

Remember when we had dictionaries, maps, and address books? Using these tools regularly will help develop patience, sharpen attention, and improve memory.

Similar to handwriting, tangible resources force us to problem solve, search for clues, and accurately store data. Our brains get lazy without practicing these skills.

One day, I broke out a paper map and was astounded by how much more I could discover. I saw landmarks and roads laid out in front of me, and I’m able to see them anytime, without a click. It had been years since I actually used a map. I’d forgotten how much I could learn using one. I also had to work a little bit to find places.

Sometimes computers crash. With physical copies like address books, we don’t have to worry about starting over when we lose our contacts. I don’t rely on “the cloud” to back up my information. I assume everything is fleeting. But if I write it down, I’m golden.

Lower your expectations

We expect less than a 3-second wait with most internet page loads. We expect mail in 2 days. We expect packages to arrive between 3 — 10 days. Anything longer is unacceptable.

I’m currently waiting for my printer software to download. It’s taking “forever” because there’s some sort of connection issue. I can’t expect a computer to think like a human being, but I do. We get used to technology efficiently working for us. We often expect too much.

Our brain capacity is much larger than our 1,000 gigabytes of whatever device we own. Though we are capable of making g devices work fast on our behalf, we need to keep using our brains.

Final thoughts

When we delay gratification by stepping away from technology, we have continued, indefinite access to knowledge. We can raise our expectations of ourselves while letting go of expecting a computer to give us what we want ASAP.

Delaying gratification brings more satisfaction than an instant fix. We learn to be patient again, anticipating our enjoyment when we get what we want. Remember how you felt waiting for the ice cream truck? Or when your book finally arrived in the mail? Wasn’t it better than Kindle, being able to turn pages and underline or highlight?

Pause a moment and breathe in. Now, breathe out. Our autonomic nervous system does its business with the pace of nature, timely and reliable. We don’t have to push for instant results. When we eat, our body digests the food in its own time.

Have patience, grasshopper. Everything will happen exactly when it’s supposed to. Practice waiting, and you’ll discover the beauty of the “space between.” Your mind will slow down to appreciate it all, even when you’re on hold with customer service. Enjoy the music and stay awhile.

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