How To How To How To
A Poem
How to be the best person in 18 easy steps How to live your best life How to meet your soulmate How to save your life if it needs saving How to get in shape if you just follow these 31 untested steps for virtual superiority in this blog on this platform on the Internet
How To How To How To It’s all we read It’s all we write Catchy catchphrases catching our attention with a score of 93 in a headline analyzer How to write the best H e a d l i n e s How to connect no, how to seduce How to get them to click How to overpromise and underdeliver Welcome to The Blog Life
How to feel happy but this doesn’t apply to you, if you are like, really depressed or if someone dies or if a lot of things But just take deep breaths and walk in nature and be still I know you’ve never heard this advice before So listen to me An expert on being happy even though I am still getting over another breakup and am pretty much always sad But this gets clicks and I am smart Please like me
How to make money By writing an article on a platform about how to make money writing on that platform ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ How To How To How To How to do anything but like, better and different Because no one has ever written about being calm How to promote yourself How to sell yourself How to look better online How to have impostor syndrome 24/7/365 How to do better at life by using an infrared sauna and lemon water Always lemon water
How to get readers to click on this Pay-per-click economy Loss of autonomy How to be authentic as if that could be taught How to build a following A following that wants you to follow them as much as they care about what you write or more Metric fever True believer in this is How To Get Famous Online with shortcuts and clickbait Time to automate to save time to follow more people
How to How to How to How to get out of this vicious cycle of mass consumption and hopes and dreams of Internet success and accolades but not Pulitzers Badges from a website for completing a task or finishing a streak Virtual gladhanding The world is disbanding under a deluge of How To Do Everything Maybe we should stop telling everyone How To and start showing them Wait, that’s a good story Bookmark that for later How To Show People How To Do Things (Instead of Telling Them) Badge me
© Jonathan Greene 2019
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