Confessions from Amber Embers

How to Host a Killer Sex Party

And still party like a guest

Amber Embers has hosted quite a few killer sex parties, from intimate hotel gatherings to big bashes in a sexy venue. If you want to be the hostess with the mostest then there are many factors to consider. The most important thing is that you want to balance your guests' enjoyment and pleasure with your ability to still enjoy your own night. This is why planning many of the fine details on the backend is super important. Also, while your guests are all adults, as the hostess, you still assume responsibility for the health and safety of your guests, and so there are a few things you can do to promote consent and a sex-positive atmosphere. Don’t send those invites out just yet! There are a few things to consider like your audience, the size of the party, the theme, the entertainment, the venue, and the safety of your guests.

Decide on What Kind of Party You Want to Host

The first thing you want is to decide what kind of party you are going to throw. While you may be into a variety of sexual escapades, it is important to find a niche so you can attract the right group of people. It's all about striking a good dynamic. After all, your guests are what make or break the night, so your ability to bring the right people together who share similar desires and comfort levels is key. Okay, so you want to be the hostess of a killer sex party but first, you must ask yourself some key questions:

1. Will this be an intimate hotel gathering or a larger party in a sexy venue?
2. Do you want the evening to have a theme? Some popular themes include Anything-But-Clothes, Leather and Lace, Boudoir, Sexy Schoolgirl, etc.
3. Will this be a get-down and dirty play party or a more social party with the possibility of play?
4. If this is a larger party then what kind of entertainment do you want? DJ? Boudoir show? Erotica workshop? Toy workshop? Sexy ice-breaker games?
5. What are you planning to provide at the party? BYOB? Are you providing mixer like juice and spritzer? Will there be snacks? What about condoms?
6. Will you be charging a nominal fee for this party, or more due to extra costs?

Who Is Your Audience?

What kind of sex party do you want to host? Do you want your guests to cut the small talk and get down to the chase? Or do you want the party to be more social, allowing the possibility of play to unfold more organically?

I think this is by far the most important question that you must ask before sending out the invites, because your guests are on all sides of the spectrum from those who are down to fuck, to others who are looking for friends with benefits. If you end up deciding to host a down and dirty play party, then having one that is more intimate is much easier to orchestrate in this case. If you are looking for more socializing with the possibility of play, then why not go for a larger party to increase the likelihood of your guests making a match.

The Size of Your Party, the Venue, and their Safety and Discretion

Smaller Party

If you do decide on a small hotel party, then it is vital to ensure that all your guests know what the expectation is. At the same time, while the expectation is play, you must also inform all guests that by no means is play guaranteed and that consent and continual, consistent consent is mandatory.

In this case, since it is a small hotel party, you should consider being responsible for providing the condoms. You can always tell the guests what you will be providing and if it doesn't meet their needs then they can bring their own. Also, since this hotel party will be intimate, anywhere from 6 to 12 people is ideal, then you want your guests to all to be familiar with one another beforehand. Whether that means you choose to invite people from the same social circle and similar play styles, or that you try to play matchmaker and have those attending trade pictures beforehand, is up to you. Though one of the best hotel parties I hosted had about 15 people and every woman there was bisexual. Need I say more about how that night went! OMG.

Larger Party

On the other hand, if you are planning on a larger party anywhere from 20 to 100 people let's say, then you will need to seriously consider how to respect the discretion and the safety of your guests. Firstly, you will want to choose a discrete venue and try your best to avoid revealing the location beforehand. You may also want to seriously consider having a door person and a guest list. With that being said, you also want to consider doing that backend work I had suggested. For example, all guests should pay their admittance fee ahead of time, so as not to overwhelm the hostess or doorman with duties.

Lastly, if you are planning a larger party then it is important to ensure that each guest has someone who can vouch for them. For example, if you have never met one of the guests, then you want to ensure they are legitimately a friend of a friend. Or that you have verified them the best you can through online endeavors. You also need to make strict rules for what is and isn’t permitted for play. For example, if you are inviting guests under the premise of “play possible” then it would be nice to restrict play to a playroom, so other guests do not feel intimidated by play just erupting all over the place. Then again, if this is the kind of wild party you seek then by all means go ahead, but make sure you warn the guests ahead of time! With that being said if there is indeed a designated playroom, you must make rules clear. Are single men permitted, or only with the invitation of the couple?

What Entertainment Will You Have?

For a larger and more social party, your guests will expect some kind of entertainment. Personally, I always charge more because I hire a DJ and a doorman. I mean there just has to be a dancefloor because that’s where many make matches and find sexual chemistry. Still, if you are charging more due to the overhead costs of the venue, the DJ, and the doorman, then your guests may expect a bit more bang for their buck. So seeing if you can find someone from the community to provide a sex workshop, a burlesque dance, or an erotica reading sure will go a very, very long way! Also, providing some snacks and mixers also goes a very long way.

What Is the Theme?

It is not mandatory to have a theme for the party and yet many enjoy dressing up. While there are those who don’t, if you provide a theme then those guests can sit out, but other guests can enjoy creating their outfits. As a guest, I love finding sexy outfits to suit the theme. One time I dressed up as a unicorn when the theme was fairytales and fantasy for instance. Another time I was a sexy flapper from the roaring 20s. Or how about the burlesque dancer look, when I wore a feather boa, a sexy thong, and some lace gloves? To me this all spells fun! There are so many sexy themes to consider, and the more unique it is the more likely your guests will want to participate. As mentioned earlier some popular themes include, Anything-But-Clothes, Boudoir, and Sexy Schoolgirl.

How Will You Do Your Best to Ensure the Safety of Your Guests?

• Provide Condoms
• Have a doorman with a guestlist
• Inform the guests about the playroom rules ahead of time, and provide signs as reminders in the playroom
• Validate all guests prior to the party. If potential guests do not want to follow the rules such as being vouched for by a friend, having a chat on the phone first, and sending validating face pictures with date stamps, then simply tell them there is no room for them at the party.

Now Enjoy Your Night

As you can see there is a lot that goes into planning a sexy, awesome sex party! But if you do all the backend work, then there is more of a chance that on the night of the party you can kick back, dance, and play to your heart's content! While you of course will be pulled in many directions at times, things like having guests make prepayments, and setting out the condoms and condiments ahead of time, help to aid in you also having the time of your life! Now let’s get planning because it’s almost party time again!

Follow Amber Embers Confessions of Tales of being a Swinger, a Cougar, a HotWife, a Bi Goddess, an Exhibitionist, and a Submissive. She is also the Founder of Kink, Think & Swing. [email protected]

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