How to Hide Money

A self-help tutorial

Phil finally finished counting all the money. It took him the better part of an hour. While setting a few thousand dollars aside, he then put the rest of the money into a large cardboard box, taping the box shut. He had gotten the box from a nearby grocery store. It had originally held bottles of laundry detergent.

Walking around his house, Phil searched for a place to hide the box. His closets were full. Besides, that would be the first place anyone would look for a box of money. He finally found the perfect spot when he went into the laundry room. Placing the box on the high shelf above the washer and dryer, he realized that since the printing on the box advertised laundry detergent it would be inconspicuous and blend right in. No one would look in the laundry room for a box full of money.

Phil then took the money he had set aside and put a thousand dollars in his pocket and the rest in his sock drawer. He then went to his computer and brought up Google Search. In the search box he typed, How do you launder money? Surely there was a self-help article or instructional video out there explaining how to do it. Phil knew how to wash his clothes but not how to launder money.

When the cops came they searched everywhere for the money. They ransacked Phil’s closets, tore apart his kitchen and looked under the bed. With box-cutters they even ripped open his mattress to see if the money was in there. Searching the laundry room, they looked inside the washer and dryer and looked behind them but for some reason they never looked inside the laundry detergent box.

After cleaning up the mess the cops made of his home Phil sat down at his computer and wrote a self-help article entitled, How to Hide Money. Surely someone out there could benefit from his experience. But then he figured that the cops were probably still watching his internet activity so he printed the article then deleted the version on his computer. He would publish it later after all the money was gone.

Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. This is a work of fiction. Stories by White Feather

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