How to Heed the Philosophy of the Four Agreements and Unite the United States

We need to move forward before it’s too late.

The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, is a jewel. It is simple, sparkling, and pure. Free of impediment.

Like anything simple, however, they are not easy to put into practice. They go against our conditioning, feelings of autonomy, self-importance, and the illusion that the world revolves around us.

Trust me; with or without us, the sun will rise and life will go on.

If we take time to practice these four agreements, our lives, and the United States could be a caring community instead of the snake pit it has become.

Let me explain.

First Agreement — Be Impeccable with Your Word

This means don’t lie, gossip, or use your words against anyone. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and say it with as much kindness as possible.

Gossiping should never be a form of entertainment or engaged in casually. Someone’s name, and possibly life, is at stake.

Words carry energy. They are meant to communicate, and they can heal or cut like a knife. They can foster love or destroy a life or a career. They are meant to communicate thoughts and ideas, not tear people down and inflict pain. Humans are the only species with the gift of language, and like any gift, we need to use it for its highest purpose.

Can you imagine a country whose inhabitants chose their words carefully? Where name-calling and finger-pointing were things of the past or at least a rarity?

The Presidential debates certainly would have been more substantive had candidates responded to questions truthfully and spoken to one another with respect.

The next time you want to say something mean or lie, take a step back and hold your tongue. It takes self-control, but it can be done.

Don’t Take Anything Personally.

It’s not all about you.

Babies and young children live in a small world and believe it revolves around them. At a certain development stage, we realize it’s a big world and we are not the center of it.

Or at least we should.

We often fail to realize, and I include myself here, is when people say something, it often has nothing to do with us. Even if it’s about us. Whatever that person is saying is from their perspective, and they’re the only ones standing there. It’s also based on their beliefs.

And beliefs and perspectives can yield an inaccurate picture.

The acquaintance that snubs you on the street might not be snubbing you at all. They might have gotten some horrible news and have not even seen you. In short, their action had nothing to do with you.

Can you imagine if we, as a people, could incorporate this belief into our lives and ignore or forgive the things people said and did? If we could start fresh from here on in?

If we could begin this new administration with a clean slate, we could create a paradise. Together.

Don’t Make Assumptions.

It’s that saying, “when you assume, you (u) make an ass out of whom?”

You hear something, good or bad, and draw all types of conclusions when you have none of the facts. You decide something based on conjecture. And the news and social media are filled with this.

Good journalism means checking the facts, having sources, and checking them three times. Sometimes we fail to seek the truth and make a decision based on the way we feel.

What if the media, social media, and we as individuals stopped making assumptions and looked at the facts? What if we used our brains instead of our mouths?

Racial bias is based on assumptions, not facts. The belief that immigrants are lazy and criminals is also based on assumptions. If we can learn to look at one another as people with no preconceived ideas, this country can be a place of opportunity for everyone.

Always Do Your Best.

I’m not sure this one needs an explanation.

What kind of country do you think the United States would be if everyone made an effort to do their best? To implement the first three agreements and treat one another with respect, whether it’s in person or on social media?

The twist with this one is that your best is not static. And it changes from day-to-day and even minute-to-minute. Our stamina might not allow us to do as well one day in a particular situation as we did another.

And that’s okay.

This is where forgiveness comes in. We forgive ourselves for our shortcomings and move on. And of course, if we can show that kindness to ourselves, maybe we can extend it to others.

Change in Attitude

Incorporating these behaviors into our lives means we need to think differently and realize that we are all part of a whole. Our actions, good or bad, contribute to the well-being of us as individuals and as a society in general.

The drop in a pond causes ripples all the way to the shore—the same for our words and deeds.

Just as how you treat family members affects their actions and future, how we behave in the world will determine the energy of this country. It’s time we considered this and made an effort to be the best person we can be.

We are not children and we know the world does not revolve around us.

Everything we do and say creates the world in which we live.

It’s time we started acting this way.