How to Have Everything You Want
Discover the secret of true happiness
You can have everything in life that you want if you just give enough other people what they want. — Zig Ziglar
Two weeks ago my husband drove me to the hospital; checked me in, and lovingly kissed me goodbye, whispering, “Don’t worry, everything will be fine.”
I am normally a person who is well adjusted and at ease with the world around me, but as time drew near, for the operation, my heart began to shudder. The thought of having a part of my body removed was positively daunting.
I had to remind myself that many women had gone through this operation in the past and came out feeling much better than before.
As I changed into “the gown” I took a deep breath, calmed my nerves and SURRENDERED to what was about to happen.
I decided to get out of my head and stop worrying. And start seeing things as they are, not as I would like them to be.
Witness The World
I chose to observe what was going on around me — the male nurse who rolled me down the corridor and into the lift, not once taking his eyes off where he was going; the people who sympathetically smiled at me as we went past; the nurse who told me how I would feel much better afterwards.
Witnessing the world around me proved positively POSITIVE. By the time I was rolled into the operating theatre, all my apprehension had vanished.
The surgery was bright and buzzing with people in white coats. The surgeon greeted me with a smile and explained, once again, what he was about to do. Rather than feeling all tied up in knots, I felt at EASE. The last thing I remember was Dr Robinson saying, “Meredith, you’ll now feel a sight sensation in your arm…”
A minute later, actually three hours later, I woke up… It was all over.
The Most Important Lesson
The build-up to the operation started a month ago when I complained of back pain that soon became an acute throbbing ache. The doctor’s diagnosis was shocking, and when he told me that I needed surgery I immediately began to look at my daily habits.
Not that I was doing anything wrong, it was more about what I wasn’t doing. So I decided to dedicate this chapter of my life to personal GROWTH and development.
So far the journey has been highly beneficial, full of valuable lessons, but by far the most significant lesson has been:
To GIVE without expectation of return.
This lesson revealed itself when I, ever so slightly (and that’s more than enough to agitate the mind), expected certain people to visit me in hospital and they didn’t! They didn’t even bother to phone!
“After all that I’ve done for them,” I thought.
You can imagine my initial disappointment. Fortunately, I managed to turn things around by focusing on correcting my thoughts and actions, rather than focusing on theirs.
I began by contemplating my statement: “After all that I’ve done for them!” … Yes, I had given them a lot. However, what stands out here is that little one-letter word: “I.” And that can mean only one thing: expectations.
Interwoven into what I’d given them was an expectation of return. I expected something from them, even if it was just visiting me in hospital.
“Wow,” I thought… It’s so insignificant, yet it’s so significant.
No matter how small an expectation is, it’s enough to create ripples of agitation. Most of us would miss it and suffer disappointment, but the lesson here is not to overlook expectations. They creep in when we’re not watching.
So for our health and wellbeing, we must learn to be aware of the expectations we place on ourselves, on others, and on the world around us; and to minimise them to a point where they are well within our control.
Focus on GIVING
The next thing I contemplated was what Zig Ziglar said: “You can have everything in life that you want if you just give enough other people what they want.”
What a statement! … Could it be that simple? … Could we really have everything we want by just GIVING other people what they want?
The answer is yes. However, there is something very important here and if we miss it we could suffer great disappointment.
If we focus on “You can have everything in life that you want” we could easily fall into the trap of “giving” to others and expecting a return. If this is our motive, how can we say we are giving? We’re “giving” only to TAKE! And that’s not giving at all, it’s business!
True giving is achieved when we GIVE without expectation of return.
This brings me to that very important thing we shouldn't miss. When we focus on what others want we are unselfish. When we are truly unselfish, meaning we do not expect anything for our efforts, then we gain everything we want. Unselfishness is the true secret of HAPPINESS.
Copyright © 2022 Meredith Forder. All rights reserved.
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