One Simple Way to Lead a Less Stressful Life
Master one art and you’re good to go
Have you ever wondered why you’re so stressed all the time? Sometimes, you’re stressed even when there is nothing, in particular, going on in your life. You’re also stressed when going on a vacation, before and during the pandemic, well — you’re probably a little bit stressed right now after reading the word “stress” so many times in the span of less than one minute.
Of course, there are various answers to the question. But from my observation, at least three causes are from within ourselves; our irrational anger, need to control, and perfectionism over the everyday little things.
When even the smallest things in life don’t go the way we planned it to be, we get angry at ourselves, others, or things. However, do you know that this anger is what causes you stress?
When we’re angry, our adrenal gland produces stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. It also distributes the hormones to every part of the body. Hence why we become stressed.
However, good news for you, you only have to master the art of “Oh, well” to minimize the stress coming from the obsession with the little things.
What Is the Art of “Oh, Well”
To put it simply, it is an act of accepting what occurred, the uncontrollable or unchangeable. Let me give you a picture of what they are:
You’re late, but the traffic or train is not on your side
For some reason, the traffic is always really bad, and the train is always behind schedule when you’re late. It’s like the whole world is compromising against you.
I experienced this countless times last year when I was attending university physically and was still living alone. The first few times it happened, I was so stressed out because I was not a late kind of person.
I remember feeling anxious while waiting for my train impatiently and thinking that the train was way slower than usual. I was mulling over what happened, the distance I still had to cover, and also the consequences of being late.
I was stressing myself out in the hopes that if I do so, the train will magically run faster.
It’s stupid. Everyone, including myself, know that it would never be the case. But I did it anyway.
Funnily enough, nothing bad came out of me being late.
So, the last few times it happened, not that I’m trying to promote tardiness, but I just accepted it. I told myself, oh well, and everything was the same except that I was happier and a lot less stressed.
How to Implement “Oh, well”
When I started learning how to accept, the stress over the minor things would sometimes be stronger than my will to accept the situation.
So, depending on the situation, here are questions I would ask myself when faced with the angering minor things:
1. Can you change or control anything now?
The word now is what you should focus on when answering the question and not what you could change in the past.
Going back to being late, my brain would usually answer the question with something like, “This whole thing wouldn’t have happened if you had slept a tiny bit earlier.” But you see, that would not be the answer to the now.
The right answer would be no because for now, on this train, I couldn’t:
- Travel back in time to wake up earlier
- Control the speed of the train
- Decrease the commute time
- Relocate my campus to a nearer place
The answer served as a reminder that okay, this cannot be changed, let’s try and accept it.
2. Will there be a difference in the result if you’re stressed or not?
Most of my answers so far have been no. Let’s take an example of a situation we all dread about; we’re out doing errands, and our phone’s battery decided to die on us when there’s no charging outlet or power bank.
Imagine being in the said position and ask yourself the question.
Stress or not, the phone’s battery will die anyway. So why not let it die in a better state of mind when you have the option to do so?
3. Is the thing you’re stressing about really matter?
Ask yourself the question above, particularly when you’re irrationally angry about something.
Back then, I would normally be angry when someone leaves my bedroom door slightly open, or when my parents start talking to me when I’m using earbuds.
However, after a while, I realized that it doesn’t matter. Yes, it could be annoying, but it’s not giving me any harm. Closing the door myself would only take seconds, and entertaining my parents is a courtesy.
So, oh, well.
Additional Tips
Now that you know the questions you need to ask yourself, you only have to start implementing it. It will take a couple of tries to succeed, but keep practising and you’ll get there.
Meanwhile, when trying is stressing you out, try doing the following:
- Close your eyes and focus on your breathing.
- Take a deep breath and let it out like you would a sigh.
- Do that a couple of times and try implementing “Oh, well” again!
Final Thoughts
I had been letting the smallest things in my everyday life stress me even more than it should for years. Learning to accept it and saying “Oh, well” to them helped tremendously. I can finally focus on solving the problems that actually matter.
You know what they say, the little things matter.
But stressing over the little things will just make your life a tiny bit more miserable. If you’re 50% stress every day, why not make it one or two percent less stressful?
Anyway, one last thing:
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