This Simple Technique Will Put a Smile on Your Face and a Song in Your Heart Right Now!

This little nugget is guaranteed to pay off

I was at the gym Saturday morning. It was a dumbbell day and I don’t mean me! On dumbbell day I do 18 minutes on the treadmill, four different exercises with dumbbells, and four sets on the chest press machine.

I’ve been working out pretty consistently for nine months or so. I assumed when I started that my body would get used to the stress and strain of weightlifting and I would become comfortable with the entire process pretty quickly.

That has not been the case. It does feel normal to go to the gym. I am on a good streak of regular workouts four days a week. I look forward to it. I do it early in the morning so that other commitments don’t push it aside.

But comfortable? Used to it? No ma’am, I am not. I am sore. I was sore when I got up. I was sore when I got in the car to go to the gym. I was sore while I worked out and I am sore now. I am stronger, I have defined muscles, I have lost weight, I look good and I am sore.

Saturday morning I was struggling. I was sitting on a weight bench with two 35 pound dumbbells on my thighs, just itching to be hoisted. I was breathing heavily. I was thinking that maybe I should just cut this session short. After all, how bad could it be to cut one gym session short?

And then I looked into the mirror and made eye contact with myself and I smiled. A big natural genuine smile that came from the heart. The smile triggered my happy hormone. Just like that, I was having a good time.

The rest of the session went great. I lifted the weights. I was in a great mood. I can’t wait to go back tomorrow. You’ll find me there early before I can change my mind.

The Hidden Power of a Smile

I smile a lot.

I smile because I am generally happy and smiling is a natural byproduct of happiness, but I also smile on purpose.

Many years ago, I decided that I would look a lot better in pictures if I had a photogenic smile. I assigned myself the task of “learning to smile.” I stood in front of a mirror and practiced smiling over and over again on command. The key is to really smile, not to simply plant a smile-like expression on my face.

I make a little noise when I pull out the photo smile. I grin and chuckle at the same time. That’s what it takes for me to generate the emotional piece. This little procedure produces a consistent look for photos and it has served me well. It’s almost subconscious these days.

Making me look better in the never ending parade of pictures I seem to be featured in is great, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg where smiles are concerned.

When I looked into the mirror at the gym and smiled, my entire body relaxed. My stress level dropped. If you had been watching from afar you would have known that my life had just gotten a little bit better. Smiles rock.

Smiling causes your face to relax and that releases some endorphins, aka happiness juice. This triggers a happy response in your brain, which makes you want to smile. A good smile throws you into a happiness loop that actually changes your brain chemistry for a while.

The Sound of a Smile

If a smile falls in the woods, does it make a sound?

I have already revealed that when I break out my stock smile for pictures I chuckle out loud, but that is not what I mean. I am asking if you can hear someone smile with your eyes closed.

This may seem like a trick question. “Of course you cannot hear a smile!” I can hear you saying (probably without smiling).

Try this experiment. Ask your better half or a friend or the mailman to read this article aloud to you. Close your eyes while you listen.

Now ask the same person to read the article again. This time, ask them to read it with a genuine smile on their face. They may need to practice relaxing into a smile on demand, but once they are smiling, see if you can tell the difference.

Spoiler alert — You can. The act of having a smile on your face while talking changes the way your conversation is perceived. The listener may not be able to consciously identify why, but you will come across as more receptive and friendlier on the phone if you are smiling.

Make a habit out of smiling during phone conversations, particularly if you are discussing something controversial or confrontational. This tiny little adjustment can preemptively take the negativity out of the situation.

The Power of a Smile in Public

One of the key tenets of the twainingwheels philosophy is that life is a constant search for connection and adventure.

If you want to make new connections, smiling is a critical first step.

Let’s take a field trip. Go to the supermarket. Walk around. How many people are smiling? How many people have their head and eyes up? How many people can you make eye contact with?

I walk around with my head up and a smile on my face. I smile because I am happy. I keep my head up because I am interested in seeing what there is to see. I don’t avoid eye contact. I am actively looking for it. Eye contact is an invitation to connect.

My smile says “I’m OK.” When I make eye contact, I speak. I say hello. I ask a question. I make a joke. If a conversation ensues then we have both gained something. If not, that’s OK. Without the smile, there is never going to be a new connection.

Despite appearances to the contrary, smiles are absolutely free, like directions and my newsletter. In addition to being free, smiles multiply pretty quickly. When you start smiling, people around you naturally respond by smiling. The next thing you know, the entire Publix is awash in toothy grins.

The Power of a Smile in Business

We tend to feel closer to people who are friendly. Smiling people are perceived as friendlier that their stone faced brethren.

When you smile across the negotiating table, after a while your companion is likely to smile back. People are much more agreeable when they are smiling. Just like that, you are closer to Yes.

Smiling in the office leads to a happy office. Smiling during a tense meeting lessens the tension in the room. Smiling at a prospect greatly increases your chances of closing. There is no downside to smiling.

The Power of a Smile in a Relationship

A smile can convey love, acceptance, empathy, sympathy, confidentiality, camaraderie, lust , appreciation, delight, thanks and affection.

When we smile at our loved ones we strengthen our positive connections. Even in the midst of a disagreement, a disarming smile can often topple the domino and have everyone laughing and crying and making amends.

A sheepish smile accompanied by an apology can turn a knock down drag out fight into a treasured memory in an instant.

A well timed smile in a stressful moment can give everyone the OK to take a deep breath and find some perspective.

It is very difficult to harbor ill will against someone and smile while you do it. It’s also difficult to be angry at someone you care about when they have a big smile on their face.

Smiling leads to better connections with people we care about.

People who smile a lot get laid significantly more often than people who don’t.

Why Don’t We Smile More?

I’ll give you my theory and you can comment on it.

24/7 is a lot of airtime to fill. We see “news” stories every day about people falling victim to nefarious strangers. Stories of bank accounts drained by savvy Nigerian princes and grandchildren on vacation used to bait us into wiring money to fake kidnappers are aired between the breaking news surrounding the 2016 election cycle. No one wants to be taken advantage of. So we play it safe. We hunker down and keep to ourselves. The older we are, the more likely we are to avoid contact with people we don’t know.

As a society, people want others to think that they are serious. To be perceived as mature, thoughtful and reserved. We don’t want to share any weakness and the safest way is to avoid vulnerability of any kind, so we shut down our emotions.

In our winners versus losers culture, rejection of any kind feels like failure. For many, an unreturned smile is a loss. This mindset has developed into an entire populace afflicted with resting bitch face. RBF, as it’s called in some parts of the midwest, is bad enough when it is a natural occurrence in a lone individual, but at least in the USA, we have intentionally adopted it. It’s our national mask as much as the bald eagle is the national bird.

We are quickly becoming a nation of robots, just in time for a seamless transition to the future being ushered in by artificial intelligence. We protect ourselves from judgment, rejection and the awkward possibility of getting involved in conversation with someone we might disagree with by hiding behind a cold mask of indifference, our eyes cast downward as we scurry through the aisles and out the door.

No one can control your smile but you.

You can choose to smile at funerals, in jail, at the dentist’s office, during an IRS audit, while you clean up after a tsunami, during chemo, or while you are putting a roof on your house in July.

You can choose not to smile at parties, when you get promoted, when you win the MVP award, when someone tells a good story, at your wedding or the birth of your child.

The thing is, smiles are always available to you. Smiles are free. Smiles reduce stress and pick up your mood. Smiles tend to be contagious.

Smiles open the door to communication with other people and that communication leads to connection. Life is so much better when we connect with others. Give it a try.

You don’t really want to be a robot, do you?