How to Handle Speaking In Public When You’re Not a Public Speaker
You swore on your unborn children this would never happen to you.
Yet, here you are about to do the one thing you and a lot of other people fear the most.
Speak in public.
The very thought of a public address is likely to elevate your blood pressure.
Your mouse is probably a little sweaty from thinking about it.
But, don’t worry. There’s hope for you yet.
*draws back curtain *
Allow me to introduce you to Greek legend, Demosthenes.
Not always a man casually yelling into the ocean in the middle of the day, Demosthenes was a boy from Athens too delicate for the typical gymnastic training of a Greek male. He was scrawny and his contemporaries described him as inarticulate and stammering.
But when his wealthy swordmaker of a father passed away, he discovered his guardians had left him with virtually nothing. The only hope of claiming what rightfully belonged to him was to take their asses to trial. But, without money, he would have to state his case in the Athenian court of law.
Mad at the world, Demosthenes ventured on a path of pure, oratorical destruction. He built an underground study to practice and shaved half of his head to prevent him from ever leaving the room. To improve his verbal impediments he put rocks in his mouth while he practiced his speeches.
Eventually, Demosthenes would transform himself into a fiery rhetorician and one of civilization’s first lawyers. He would go on to win the case against his former caretakers establishing himself as an elite speaker, a skillset very few had yet to acquire.
Now, I know what you’re thinking,
“I am not a legendary, Greek orator. My aunt and uncle never robbed me and I refuse to shave my head or swallow rocks.”
Well, the good news is I’m not going to make you do any of those things. However, to embrace your inner Demosthenes, without going to such extreme lengths, I recommend the following strategies for your upcoming speaking engagement.
1. Accept that nerves are natural.
Say it again. Nerves are natural and fear of public speaking is biologically unavoidable. This explains why even celebrities wrestle with stage fright. No matter how hard you try, your nerves don’t disappear. It’s what makes you alive.
2. Start with a story.
The very first words out of your mouth should be a story. Why?
Well, humans are biologically wired to respond to a good story as well. A childhood memory can evoke an emotional response from the audience, doesn’t have to be memorized and can easily be connected to the topic of your speech with a little work. Telling a well-known story can be a quick confidence builder as your audience will respond positively to a good first impression. Fortunately, if they haven’t paid to see you, their expectations are going to be pretty low. So, don’t stress yourself out trying to find the perfect story, instead focus on telling the story well.
3. Control your non-verbals.
What you do is much harder to disguise than what you say. Like when a friend says they’re “fine” but you can see they’re not, nervousness comes out in your body language. Fortunately, nonverbal communication can be controlled with practice. So, while you won’t stop getting nervous, you can communicate to your audience that you’re not nervous at all. One way to do this is to establish a neutral pose.
A neutral pose is what you do when you’re not doing anything with your hands or feet. You already know you’re supposed to use gestures for emphasis, but a neutral pose is your body language when there is nothing to emphasize.
Establishing a ‘neutral pose’ helps you conceal nonverbal, nervous habits (playing with your shirt, putting your hands in your pocket, scratching your leg, etc.) which makes you appear more confident (no matter how much you’re actually shaking in your boots).
To establish your neutral pose. Start with the hands.
First, put your hands to your side in the most natural way possible. Then, give an impromptu speech in front of a mirror. See if your hands stay by your side. If they do, then your done with this little exercise and you can move to the next part. If you tend to fidget with your hands or have to fight the urge to not fidget, you’re going to need to add some blocking.
My first suggestion is the handclasp:
If the handclasp is not your thing, one of these variations may also come in… handy.
Whichever hand placement you choose, make sure it’s something that looks natural and is relatively comfortable. Audiences like natural, not mechanical.
Side Note: If you will have any type of note or prop with you, use them while you practice. Even if your speech isn’t quite ready, practicing with a prop version of the notes you will help the naturalness of your delivery.
Once you have your hands figured out, its time to work on your lower half.
Most inexperienced speakers do one of these things with their lower body when delivering a speech:
- Sway their feet back and forth like they’re slow dancing with themself.
- Cross their legs like they forgot to go to the bathroom.
- Some awkward combination or alternation of the two.
First, figure out which one of these nervous habits you do. You can do the same exercise you used to establish your upper body neutralness. You can also have a close friend assist you with this exercise if you don’t already know your lower half’s nervous tells. The good news is you can correct nervous habits with a concerted effort.
A good neutral pose with your legs and feet is simple. Keep your feet parallel and shoulder-width apart. You want your knees to rest comfortably and not to lock. The idea is natural, not rigid. Upright, but not uptight.
During your speech, you may choose to move. Adding movement can be a useful tool to improve your audience’s enjoyment and engagement. However, make sure whatever movement you make is motivated and complimented by natural stillness. The contrast between movement and non-movement helps accentuate the important points of your message. Everything in moderation.
It may seem odd to plan extensively for the moments you’re not doing anything, but public speeches are performance and your body is always sending messages, whether you want it to or not. If you’re like most people, you have a few, natural nervous habits. By making a conscious effort to stop sending those messages you can effectively mask your feelings of raging inadequacy and impress your friends with your mediocre, but serviceable speaking skills.
4. Practice your ass off.
There’s just no way around this one.
Sometimes you just have to lock yourself in an underground study and shave one side of your head in order to avoid utter failure. What your practice looks like will depend on both the style of the speech and your personality type, but practice time is a requirement if you want to be adequately prepared for this thing. Usually, one hour of rehearsal for each minute of speech (not including memorization) is sufficient.
But, you do you. Whether you choose to memorize your speech or work from an outline is also your call. If your speech has a time limit, ensure your practice runs are within it. Also, remember to speak longer than the required minimum because you’re likely to speak more quickly come showtime.
In conclusion, it is completely normal for the thought of public speaking to make you want to vomit. Public speaking is a skill that does not come easy and is rarely used. But if the once-lowly Demosthenes can become Greece’s finest orator, there’s no reason someone like you can’t ball out on speech day.
Take the time to practice, begin with a well-worn story and control your non-verbal communication. With enough time spent gargling rocks, you may surprise yourself with just how good you can be.
