How to Handle Internet Criticism as a New Writer

5 Steps to Take

If you’ve been around as a writer for a minute, it’s likely you’ve felt the sting of internet criticism. Some commenters are ruthless, some are kind, some offer helpful critiques. Some still are flat-out internet trolling bullies.

When we choose to publish on the internet we are opening ourselves up for a plethora of critiques. Modern marketing expands this by publications or platforms posting across social media, too. It can be treacherous to navigate, especially as a new writer. One rude and uncalled-for comment can derail a writer for days or scare them away for good.

I have written my fair share of controversial pieces. In the beginning, I had a blog (as most of us do). It was a pregnancy and infant loss blog. On it, I challenged everything. The way society treats grief and those experiencing it. I questioned faith and empty platitudes. I even wrote a few pieces about how shallow society is because of the integration of social media. I published in loss magazines and those magazines shared my pieces on Facebook. People trolled me. Sent me nasty messages. Found me on other platforms to do the same thing. Some critics went after my husband too. Right off the bat, the criticism tag on my writing was hefty.

At first, I sometimes spent days afterward checking the posts. Reading all the comments and creeping on the profiles of the haters. Sometimes these hater comments sent me into downward spirals. They made me believe I shouldn’t write ever again.

I no longer write about loss and grief anymore (at least not much anyway). Still, I have some controversial opinions that have landed me in the critical hot seat a few times.

The intensity has lessened now, but it can still get to me sometimes. Here’s what I have learned about how to handle internet critics as a new writer.

1. Acknowledge and Give Thanks

This is for you, not the critic. Acknowledge their words and mentally thank them for providing feedback or reading. Doing this allows you the writer to lower your defenses a bit.

Yes, some critics don’t deserve thanks. Some of them are straight-up nasty bullies. That isn’t the point. The point is to create some tangible distance between you the writer and them the critic.

2. It’s Not About You

The internet is a place of anonymity now. A place where knee jerk reactions come out in comment form. There are no repercussions (most often) for internet critics. Some people fail to remember their interactions are with humans and not computers.

It’s important to keep in mind that nasty criticism is not always about you. It’s about the way your piece made a critical reader feel.

3. You are Not Your Article

You, as a person, are not your one article that is garnering nasty critiques. Heavy criticism can sometimes make us feel as if we are being made fun of by the entire internet. It’s the whole “standing in your underwear in front of a crowd” fear-trope.

4. Practice Grounding Techniques

Our brain and body do not know the difference between a real-life ‘threat’ and a nasty comment on the web. Sometimes harsh criticism can make us react the same way as if it were a face-to-face interaction. We can experience feelings of anxiety or stress from this. Grounding techniques can help refocus and bring you back to the present moment.

My favorite one is ‘5–4–3–2–1’. Five things I can see, 4 things I can feel, 3 things I can hear, 2 things I can smell, and 1 thing I can taste.

5. Walk Away

Walk away from your computer. Put away the stats. Delete the app from your phone if you cannot resist checking it. You can always re-download later. Walk away, take a break for a few hours or a few days. The internet will still be there when you feel ready.

An Example

I wrote a piece several months that I forgot about. It’s not a good piece. I rushed through writing and publishing it when I should not have. It started gaining a lot of traction last month. Some good, but most critical. I was called names on many platforms over this piece. Some criticism was helpful, a lot of it was not. It took me by surprise mostly because I had forgotten about the piece altogether. Made me doubt myself for a few days.

But, I am grateful for the criticism because it gave me a starting point. Next time, I’ll do better research. I’ll write better and more precisely. The criticism, while difficult to swallow, also gives me an idea of what I should be working on.

For me, writing is a passion. I have dreams and goals that I want to achieve. Every day I work at it. I experiment. I research. I write. None of that is worth letting go of because of an internet opinion. Not everyone will like what I am doing or writing. That’s ok. They don’t have to. I don’t like everything I read either.

Final Thoughts

Anyone that has ever published anything has experienced this in some way. Most writers that I know struggle with mental health, myself included. Anxiety, depression, etc. Publishing on the internet can exacerbate these underlying things sometimes. Use this list to combat the sometimes unpleasant reactions to commenting critics.

Most of all, use this list to encourage yourself to keep going. Keep working, learning, and keep writing.