How to Give a Penis Massage That Will Change His Life

It’s the perfect way to pamper him

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but a lot of guys are weird about their packages.

And honestly, I kind of know where they’re coming from.

I mean sure, some of it can be a bit ridiculous.

Like the way guys fret and worry about their size and give themselves all sorts of insecurities over it.

Or how some of them will side eye every dildo their partner wants to use like they’re competing against it.

And the occasional dude who obsessively seeks reassurance about what he’s packing — and never stops because he’s so convinced his hard-on is unappealing.

That’s all a bit much.

But then there are all the guys who like their rods just fine and appreciate all the things it can do, it’s just that they never had that one experience — that one moment where someone else showed them that they really appreciate it too.

And that’s totally understandable. Because I might not have the same thing between my legs, but I’ve definitely been there too.

Before anyone went down on me with real enthusiasm, I felt really self-conscious about my vulva. I didn’t think there was anything specifically wrong with it, but I worried there might be. Like, maybe there was a reason the guys I hooked up with didn’t try to part my thighs and dive in face first, didn’t take a moment to look at me when my panties came down, and didn’t dish out any dirty praise about it.

That all came eventually, though. I finally got a big dose of muff appreciation, and that helped me feel a hell of a lot better about my body.

But a lot of guys never really get that kind of loving for their man meat. If they do, they don’t get it often.

So most of them don’t know what it’s like to have someone truly admire their knob. They can count on their fingers the number of times their dick has been lavished with loving and eager attention.

That’s partly because the boy-girl sex script is often flipped the other way around, especially in long-term relationships.

He thirsts after her body. He tries to get in her pants. He’s eager to do all sorts of stuff to her.

Which is great, of course. Nothing wrong with a heavy dose of physical desire.

But when that script never gets flipped, it can make a guy feel kind of self-conscious about his package.

That’s one of the reasons massaging it is so great.

It’s a way to give your guy a lot of pleasure. It’s incredibly intimate. And it lets you do lots of hand stuff without getting tired.

But it also gives him something he probably craves even if he doesn’t realize it — having his rod pampered, admired, and truly appreciated.

Massaging it is going to make him feel amazing, make him feel better about his hard-on, and show him plenty of love. It’s super simple, too. Here’s how to do it.

Get Set Up

You don’t really need much to give a good penis massage. But there’s one thing that isn’t optional.

You’ll need lube — and plenty of it.

At least half a bottle of decent quality stuff that won’t get tacky after a few strokes and doesn’t need to be reapplied too often.

You’ll need some even if you normally spit your way through a handjob. Your saliva won’t be able to keep up with this much stroking and rubbing, and being really generous with the lubrication is going to make everything you do to your guy is so much more stimulating.

All that lube makes things nice and messy, though. So, you’ll have to be prepared for that too. You might be able to get away with laying down a towel, but I’m not that brave. I always use a waterproof sex blanket so I have total peace of mind whenever I’m doing anything wet and sloppy.

Get Comfy

The first time I gave my husband’s hard-on a massage, I had a hard time figuring out how to even get started.

Like yeah, I knew I had to cover his shaft in lube and mess around with it. But I couldn’t decide where I’d do that.

Because it turns out that finding a good position is kind of tricky.

You could sit in bed while he lies next to you. But I had a hunch my weak back wouldn’t be able to put up with that for very long.

I wasn’t opposed to going lazy girl mode and just lie on my side next to him. That probably would’ve given the massage a pleasantly casual vibe.

But I wanted to be able to use both my hands, so I decided to have him sit at the edge of the bed instead. Then I put a cushion on the floor, got on my knees, and got busy.

You might have to move around a few times before you get started. Try a few different setups until you find one that feels right. It might be a bit awkward, but it’s worth it to make sure you’re comfortable the entire time.

Take Your Time and Take It Slow

The big difference between giving a handjob and massaging it is the pace.

If a handjob is like a sprint to the finish line, then massaging his manhood is more like a leisurely evening stroll. It’s meant to be slow, drawn out, and a nice little bonding experience.

Instead of going fast or gripping tight, give slow strokes and a soft touch. Try not to do anything that will make him come too quickly or tire you out before you’re done.

There’s no rule for how long the massage should last. Could be five minutes. Could be ten. Could be a whole hour if you’ve got the attention span for it. It doesn’t really matter how long you do it as long as it doesn’t feel rushed.

Play With It — For Real

The massage should be slow and long lasting. It should be slippery and stimulating. But more than anything, it should be really playful.

And I mean that literally. You should play with it like it’s your personal toy.

Like, you almost certainly have your own personal handjob style.

It might be two or three moves you keep coming back to when you’re jerking him off. Maybe a trick or two that helps him blow his load more quickly. And there’s that basic stroke you use when you want to jack it absentmindedly, like when he’s rubbing your clit at the same time and it’s too distracting.

And you can totally add those things to your massage. But you should also get creative with it.

Stroke his shaft in a few different ways. Tease all the different parts of his package. Rub your fingers along the head. Handle his balls if you’re down with that.

Say something sweet and dirty now and then. Tell him how much you love sliding your hand along his slippery stick. Ask him if he likes the way it feels when you softly run your fingers on his head. Tease him sweetly for having a big reaction when you give him a few quick pumps.

And don’t worry too much about what gets him off or how he prefers to be touched. When you’re massaging it, you should just be focused on enjoying his body.

Obviously, it’s going to be pleasurable for him. But the more it feels like you’re just having fun playing with it, the better.

That’s going to make it more interesting for you. It will help him feel all sorts of different sensations. You might even discover a few new moves that really do it for him.

More importantly, it’s going to show him how much you love everything he’s got going on down there. It’s going to make him feel like you’re really into it, not just touching it to get him off.

Give Yourself a Little Extra Help

Being really playful with his rod, showing your desire for it, and massaging it with lots of enthusiasm is a whole lot easier when you’re super horny.

Not that you need to be hella turned on to give it a good massage. He’ll still have an amazing time if you’re rubbing, tugging, and messing around for the sheer fun of it.

But the eagerness, the playfulness, and the loving attitude come so much more naturally when you’re properly aroused.

And look, I’m a married lady. I love handling my husband’s dangly bits, but it isn’t the instant thrill it used to be. I don’t get wet just thinking about wrapping my hand around his shaft like I used to when we started seeing each other.

So, I rely on a few tricks to help me get in that kind of mood.

Arousal oils work well. Dabbing a little bit on your clit will give it a fun sensation, get you physically aroused, and help keep your mind in the gutter.

But as great as those arousal products can be, I like wearable vibrators even better.

All you have to do is slip one in and let it buzz against your G-spot, your clit, or in your butt if you’re in an especially naughty mood. If you keep it on a low enough setting, the vibrations will make you incredibly horny without making you come or taking your focus away from the massage you’re giving.

Edge Him to Make It Last

Prolonging the massage is easy if the guy you’re massaging isn’t terribly sensitive.

Sadly, I don’t think I could make my husband come even if I played with his stiffie for a half hour. So, making the hand stuff last isn’t a problem at all.

But if your guy has a tendency to spunk more quickly, you might have to edge him if you want to give him a decent massage.

It’s a really simple technique. All you have to do is pay attention to how he responds to your touch. When you can tell he’s getting close to coming, take your hands off it. Rub his thighs, tease his balls, sit back and watch it twitch — anything that won’t push him over the edge and make him climax.

When he’s had a chance to come down, drip a bit more lube on his shaft and start working your hand magic again — until he’s about to come and then you repeat the whole process.

If you can pick up on his body language fast enough, you’ll be able to keep him from finishing until you’re ready to let him. And since you’re so concentrated on him, you probably won’t miss the tell-tale signs that he’s about to blast.

Finish on a High Note

You don’t have to make him come if you don’t want to. That’s not really what this kind of massage is about, and there’s no need to push yourself to stroke him to a finish if it doesn’t happen easily.

But if you do want to give his rubdown a happy ending, you should make it count.

Give him some words of encouragement when he’s getting close. Ask him if he’s getting close. Tell him you can’t wait to see him come.

Show your excitement when he blows his load. Bite your lip, admire the show, tell him how hot it is, and if you feel like letting out a giggle don’t hold back.

Once he’s done, you can play with his come-splattered shaft to show even more appreciation for it — as long as that doesn’t ick you out, of course.

And instead of ending the whole thing abruptly, you can ease him down by gently stroking it for another minute or two after he’s done spunking. But if you do, pay attention to the way he responds to your touch. Post-nut playtime can be overstimulating for some guys, so only keep going if he’s clearly enjoying it.

Wash Him Down

Call me old fashioned, but I’m not a fan of the come walk.

That’s when a guy blows his load on you and expects you to walk over to the bathroom to clean yourself off.

Nah. If a guy makes a mess on me, he better clean it up.

So, I think it’s only fair to help a guy out after you you cover him in lube and make him come all over himself.

Use a warm, wet towel to wash the slippery, sticky mess off him — and off your hands. Then pat him dry. He might still have to rinse off in the shower after, but it’s still a nice gesture.

It’s great aftercare. It’s one last opportunity to pamper him and make him feel special. And it’s a great way to ease out of massage mode and into all the canoodling you’ll do after.

Show His Rod Some Love

I’m a major proponent of vulva massages.

They’re incredibly pleasurable and sensual. They’re deeply relaxing and responsible for some of my strongest orgasms. They’re practically therapeutic because they let you focus on your pleasure without worrying about anything else.

More vulvas should get massaged — and massaged often.

I haven’t been as vocal about penis massages, but I think we need more of those too.

It’s a great way to show your favorite hard-on some serious appreciation. It also gives your guy the sexual reassurance he needs.

They’re sweet. They’re sexy. They’re super intimate. And anything that’s all three of those things is absolutely worth doing.

This post contains affiliate links to great lube and fun sex toys I personally love. If you click on one and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll be able to give a dirty massage that will blow his mind!

If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Going Balls Deep and Then Some (The Balldo, Vintage Porn, and Sex Mirages) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!

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