How to Get Unstuck: Write to You

Compose a letter to your future self

When I was a kid, I used to write letters to myself as an adult. I think I got the idea from one of the Emily of New Moon books by L.M. Montgomery. I wrote a letter from myself at 10 to myself at 20. I wrote a letter from myself at 14 to myself at 24. I may have written another one at some point. I was a bookish child, and I loved putting pen to paper. The ritual was comforting.

These letters were very sentimental and embarrassing, but that’s how I regard a lot of my writing when I’m a few years past doing it — including some passages in my books (enjoy!) Ultimately, the letters were really cute and sweet, a reminder that even though I dealt with severe depression and anxiety as a child and during adolescence, I still wanted to live. I still envisioned some kind of future for myself.

I still think there’s something special about that. Maybe it’s just that there’s always something sacred in a child’s hope.

Years ago, I read a brief essay by writer/actor/human Wil Wheaton about being kind to Future You. It was lovely, and I want to encourage you to read it as well when you’ve got time. Wil’s writing, as well as the aforementioned old childhood experiment of mine, informs this piece, which (spoiler alert) encourages you to take a break and write a letter to your future self.

Here, then, are the steps I advise you to take. As with any of my other suggestions, adapt as you wish. Or ignore this and go eat a leafy green.

1. Walk away from whatever project has you stuck, annoyed, confused, frustrated, and/or ready to throw your computer against the wall.
2. Stretch.
3. Grab a pen, crayon, marker, or pencil, and some paper.
4. Begin a letter to your future self. I’ll ballpark it and say five years in the future, but you can make it ten years, one year, or two weeks. It can even be a letter to the future self who finally finished that freaking annoying project — which may be you in just a few hours! Say all the things you want to say about how you feel right now, as if you’re yelling into a pillow.
5. Breathe.
6. Now write about how proud you are of your future self for finishing this project, or surviving whatever the hell you’re going through right now, or both! Remind your future self of this moment, when you really didn’t want to keep going in ways big and/or small. Tell your future self how glad you are you kept going. Encourage your future self to do whatever your present self finds to be a theoretically acceptable form of self-care or celebration.
7. Sign the letter. That’s only polite. You want you to know who it’s from.
8. Seal the letter up, or hide it somewhere special. Remember, you’ve already decided when you’re allowed to open it. Try to stick to that promise. It’s bizarre but very fun to actually open it at that time!
9. Stretch again.
10. Drink some water, probably.

Congratulations on doing something goofy that might actually help. And thank you for reviving the ancient art of letter-writing. Now go back to that other thing. I hope Current You feels refreshed.

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This essay is part of the How to Get Unstuck series.

The first essay, “How to Get Unstuck: 10 Good Things” can be found here.

The second essay, “How to Get Unstuck: Chore Time!” can be found here.

The third essay, “How to Get Unstuck: Come Back” can be found here.

The fourth essay, “How to Get Unstuck: Your Other Life” can be found here.

The fifth essay, “How to Get Unstuck: Move” can be found here.

The sixth essay, “How to Get Unstuck: Write to You” can be found here.

The seventh essay, “How to Get Unstuck: Study” can be found here.

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