How to Get People to Do What You Want Without Having to Do or Say Anything

People utter words, yet nobody follows them while others don’t, but have followers — why?

The adage; “No man is an island” is one of the frequent sayings I heard growing up.

As to why people said that a lot, I didn’t understand or bothered to know why, and until I grew up, I wouldn’t know its meaning. So, if I’ve quoted it, it’s because of what I’ve come to realize.

We all need people with our journey in life. But, as to whether we are getting that or not, our behaviors and attitudes are determining it.

That makes me want to ask. Are you getting people to help you with your life? Are people coming around you to do things for you even without asking?

If it’s like this with you, you’re a gem. So, pat yourself on the back. If it isn’t, it means you aren’t doing something right. You fall short with your human relations skills, and it’s why I’m here to help you. So, relax and read on. The answer is here.

The one thing you need to understand to win people

Human beings need many things to survive or thrive as far as this life is concerned. And among them all, there’s one that stands out that every one of us feels less worthy without it.

Can you guess what it is? Food, sex, cars, mansions. No! It’s none of these things. So, what is it? It’s simply the need to feel important.

Every child, adult, male, female desires to feel important. And it’s not because someone placed it in them or did it themselves. It’s a natural trait with which all of us come into the world. So by it, if people don’t regard someone as worthy and important, they feel angry and harbor resentment in their hearts for those disregarding them.

Away from it, let’s imagine being somewhere and someone comes and accords respect and honor to the others, without us. How would you, in particular, feel? So it’s why we need to accord people respect and dignity and make them feel worthy, irrespective of anything because our humanness depends on it.

That’s the essential key to winning people, and if you can do it, everybody, despite the circumstance, will grant you your wish.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou

Your respect for the golden rule will make life easy for you

When I read how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie, what I discovered in the book as the main idea, despite all the nuggets of wisdom shared, was this; To get people to make your bid, you must make their bid. And it’s also what the bible sums up as the golden rule; “Do to others as you would have them do for you.” — Luke 6:31.

Question? You want people to do things for you as you wish. Do you do something for them as they wish? I wouldn’t take this lightly if I were you. I would ponder over it, relate it to my life, and see if I’m doing it. If I’m not, I will start right away. Because, as they say, with the game of life, you get in exact proportion to what you put out there, nobody would do for you what you don’t do for them.

Question again? Are you respecting people as you want them to respect you? Do you make people’s problems your’s and offer solutions? Do you care about the welfare of others in your community? If you aren’t doing any of these things, forget it. Just as you don’t make others’ bids, nobody will do yours. And I don’t care whether you’re an individual or a business. If everything isn’t about people and their welfare in the running of your day-to-day affairs, you’ll not succeed.

The reason? People don’t care about you. Instead, they care about their lives and their betterment. And it’s only those who help make it better; they also make their lives better in return.

It’s tit for tat. What you give me, I give you back. There’s no cheat code here.

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” — Mathew 7:12

People utter words, yet nobody follows them while others don’t, but have followers— why?

I’ve already made it known to you that every human on earth has a sense of importance in them. So, therefore, they’ll do everything for the one who grants them that. And those who don’t do it, they’ll go against them.

This is common in the business and leadership world. Those who understand the human need of importance and apply it in the running of affairs succeed. The subordinates take it upon themselves and do everything required, even those out of their responsibilities.

They don’t wait for anyone to tell them and always give their all to execution.

Why do you think other leaders are failures despite the effort to get members to do things? It’s by the lack of respect and the need to make others feel worthy.

I don’t think you’ll follow or be with someone who underappreciates your value, then talk of having something to do with them. I wouldn’t do it. I’m not chicken. And I don’t think any sensible person will do it, either. All of us are vital in our own rights, and when you mess with it, there’s no forgiveness. People might not react or respond right away, perhaps because of the circumstance they find themselves within. But, let them be in a suitable space. Then, you’ll know whether they regard you or not.

Some people are just bitches. Avoid them at all cost

“Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.” — George Washington

As much as I’m telling you how to get people to do what you want, I should let you know about this too, to be precise.

Some people in the world are just harmful. They aren’t that because someone made them. They’re because that’s what they’ve chosen to be — see the negative in things instead of the positive. You can’t change these people. They’re the ones that, no matter what you do — good or bad; they’re indifferent.

They’re within our families, friend circles, places of work, etc. Dealing with them is never to have anything to do with them. Bad company corrupts good character. These people will destroy you with their negative energy despite the strength of your awareness.

I’ve had experiences in my life with some of these people. They were people close to me. So, I always thought I could still be with them and save myself.

But that was a lie. I realized they were destroying me. Thanks to my self-awareness. I did everything I could to reject them from coming into my space. So, be mindful as you want to win and influence people. You might think you can do it by being genuine and authentic with them to get what you want. But, hey, it won’t happen. You can’t win such people. The best way is to avoid them.

Final thoughts

Getting people to make your bid in life is a psychological trick you can practice once you discover it.

Most importantly, the way to do it is to make the other person feel worthy and valuable. If you can do it genuinely from your heart without being manipulative, you’ll always get what you want.

Because there’s proof to it, people have used it, and it’s worked for them. And it’ll do the same for you, too.

Just make people feel good about themselves. Then, they’ll grant you all your desires.

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