How To Get Over Our Shallow Church Culture

and stop being nice, little boring Christians

I recently spent some time with a Christian friend. I have known this person for quite a few years, and while we haven’t chatted much in that time, I know this person as someone with deep integrity who has faced their shadow and done the hard work on themselves. They are committed to living out their faith in works of loving action in the world.

During our catch-up, we talked about shadow work, politics, relationships, and the struggles of life. It felt real. There was an authenticity to our conversation. No mask. I felt grateful to spend time with a Christian who gets it, who knows the reality of struggle, and that to face struggle isn’t a lack of faith but that it’s actually an acknowledgment of reality.

Dishonest Christians

Most Christians don’t do the honest hard work on themselves of growing into maturity and looking at their shadow. As Christian leader Alan Hirsch has said, we’re good at creating converts in our churches, but we’re not good at creating disciples. We’re more concerned about bums on seats than taking Jesus seriously.

Of all people on the planet, Christians can afford to be honest in facing life on life’s terms. Our hope is in something bigger than ourselves. We have a story to tell, which is the hope of the world.

So why are we, of all people, so dishonest about the realities of life? Why do we sugarcoat them and spend so much time pretending? On top of that, what is it about the majority of our churches that creates a culture of shallowness, pat answers, and niceness where we don’t grow and we cruise through life, never facing our difficulties with integrity?

It’s a big question, and there are many factors involved in the reasons for it.

Much of it has to do with the awful theology we preach from our pulpits. So much of what we preach is a theology of success (where we pray for things like ‘believing for success’) where God is some kind of cosmic entrepreneur specializing in transactions that make life nice and pleasant for us. On the other hand, we preach an equally unChristian form of Calvinism which says that we are wicked beyond measure, deserving of eternal conscious torment in hell, and irredeemably corrupt. The latter, of course, breeds such deep shame that it’s no wonder we wouldn’t want to take a look inside ourselves if we’re such awful creatures anyway.

Who would want to make their life more miserable when we believe we’re just worms?

Taking our shadow seriously is, of course, mentioned in many churches, but, really, it’s paid lip service while, in our hearts, we are still convinced that being a Christian is about legalistic obedience and being moralistic. Such an attitude reveals a complete misreading of the context into which Jesus and much of the Bible are communicating.

As a result, we go to our churches each week and listen to a sermon which is generally more of a motivational self-help talk with some Christianese and Bible passages attached. After the service, we have our cup of tea and biscuit with other nice people who we never go deep with, then go home and do it all again the next week. There is rarely a grasping of people’s personal issues, deep active listening, weeping with each other, and engagement and wrestling with the deep issues and struggles that God weeps about.

Having been in church culture for all of my 50+ years, I am convinced that we are controlled by a culture of fear and not wanting to rock the boat. We are gutless. It (at least partly) comes from centuries of preaching a god of judgment who we are fundamentally scared of. Why would you want to open up about your deep struggles to a god who might throw you into hell? Such a god is not just untrustworthy but is also not ‘for’ you.

I am convinced that if we really got a grasp of the immeasurable height and depth of the love of God, we would be much more likely to open up, become vulnerable to each other, heal, and become more mature and Christlike. Living in an environment where people are convinced they are loved allows them to feel safe and belong. It is the basic human cry.

Such an environment allows us to rid ourselves of the moralism that we believe is what being a Christian is all about. Instead, it allows us to love without restriction as we slowly realize that we are loved without restriction. This is part of the glorious freedom of the children of God that Paul talks about in Romans 8:21.

Our individualized gospel

Another reason for our shallow Christian culture is the obsession we have with an individualized gospel. When it’s all about your personal relationship with God and going to heaven when you die, there is, by nature, less emphasis on the things of this life. Evangelism and the spiritual life are the priority. As such, there is less need to work on yourself and become a better person. Again, why would you need to work on yourself if you already have a ticket to heaven?

This deeply flawed way of thinking is rife in the church, especially the evangelical church. I also see it on Christian dating sites all the time. One particular Christian dating site I frequent asks people for their political views. Literally, more than 90 percent of people say they have no interest in politics. It staggers me. What is our faith about if we have absolutely no interest in what sort of society we want to live in?!

When we don’t engage with the world, we have nothing to say — let alone any good news. We are boring and uninteresting, and it is no wonder that we are not taken seriously or have any relevance. Of course, relevance is not the end game, but the true Christian message is relevant whether we present it as such or not.

The fact is that the church needs evangelizing just as much as the rest of the world. Gandhi was right when he said that it seems like everyone knows what Jesus meant in the Sermon on the Mount except Christians. What a terrible blight on a pathetic church!

Life before death

The gospel is good news for everyone and everything (I include the non-human creation in that). It is the renewal of all things, a complete upturning of the social order, freedom to love, and to bring justice, joy, and peace to the world. It is freedom from our own sinfulness and addictions; it is hearts set free from hatred; it is the liberation of the whole of creation in anticipation of that wonderful day when everything will be filled with the glory of God. It will be when that beautiful day arrives when, in the words of Revelation 21:1–5, there will be no more tears, no more pain, and no more death, for the old order of things will have passed away.

Some years ago, I saw a tagline from a Christian aid and development organization that said, “We believe in life before death.”

That says it all.

As 1 John 4:19 says, we love because God first loved us. Loving God and loving neighbor are the most important things in the world according to Jesus. When we do this, we will be less shallow and we will have the courage to face our shadow, live with less fear, and more love and be on the journey to being fully free. Then the world is much more likely to know we are Jesus’ disciples.

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