How to Get Over an Ex-BestFriend

A best friend is someone who is your confidante — The person you feel safe enough to tell your biggest, scariest and most private Truth. Your best friend is that one person who knows the good the bad and the ugly about you and still you don’t feel judged. This is because you know they’d always be there for you regardless. Your best friend is your Soul Mate.

A lot of people at some point in their lives have had one or two best friends, I know I have. I had two actually. One was my best friend whom I mentioned in one of my previous articles: A Bully in My High school Told The Entire School I Have Had 3 Abortions

She was my childhood best friend and she still is till this date. Though she travelled to some other state for school, we still keep in touch till date. The other best friend I had was a girl I met when I graduated from high school. She was closer to me than anyone else in my life at that moment.

As a teenager, I was never the extroverted type. I was reserved and would rather be home, Singing, writing or reading fictional novels. Novels like The Baby-Sitters Club Book Series which used to be my favourite Book as at that time. I come from a rich family with 3 other siblings but I would often feel alone. Somehow, I found comfort in books because I never had many friends. The only time I would interact with other girls my age, was when I went to church. That was how I met my new best friend. We met through a mutual friend and quickly became close. We would do everything and go everywhere together, we were practically sisters.

We were best friends for about 4years until she got admission to a school in some other country. We felt sad about this new development because we knew that would mean, we’d be away from each other for at least 4years. We promised we were going to keep in touch every single day and we were certain we’d never forget each other.

Now after she travelled, we still kept in touch. She’d call and tell me about how life schooling in a new country was and I’d also fill her in on my own life. It was almost as if nothing had changed. About a few months later, I soon noticed that she no longer called as often as she did and when I did call, she’d rarely pick up and wouldn’t even bother to back. I’d even send her messages on Facebook telling her I missed her, she’d read them but would never reply. Once I tried dropped a voice note asking what I had done wrong, I apologise for whatever it was.

She finally replied saying I did nothing wrong, she had just been busy. I knew it wasn’t true because she often posted pictures of her partying which some girls in the club and having fun. I recall how sad and alone this made me feel. She was my only friend. She was my sister. How can I live without having to share everything with her as usual? How can she just forget about me so easily? These were the questions that would often pop up on my mind. I felt neglected.

It took me a couple of years to realise that it was nothing I did wrong. She had just moved on with her life and even though she did that so soon, it was high time I did the same.

I am aware of how difficult trying to get over an Ex-Best friend can be. As you can tell from my story, I faced some difficult time with that situation. In case you are struggling with moving on from one yourself, whether it’s a friend who betrayed your trust or simply drifted apart. I want to let you know that it is possible. These were some of the ways I was able to get over my best friend and move on.

How to Get Over Your Ex-Best friend

• You have to know that it is okay for people to grow apart: If you and your best friend never had a fight, you simply drifted apart like I and my former best friend did, then you should know that’s okay. In as much as Best Friends make pacts to be friends forever, in most cases they never do. As we grow, we evolve. Our interests, our ideas and our personality in general changes. So it’s natural for our choice of friends to change as well. like in my case, When my best friend went to the new environment, she met with new sets of people. People who she felt more comfortable with and no longer needed my friendship. I had to come to the actualization that it was okay to grow apart. You should too.
• You have to accept that they were not your True Friend: If you are no longer friends with your best friend because they betrayed your trust/ stabbed you in the back, you have to understand that they were never your real friend, to begin with. There are a lot of wolves in sheep clothing out there. People who disguise as friends but truly are not. They hang on to you because of selfish reasons. Especially when you have some sort of financial security and they don’t. They pretend to love you but when the worse comes up, they wouldn’t think twice about throwing you to the dogs. Some of us find it difficult identifying such friends until it gets too late. In one of my previous articles, I revealed some subtle ways to identify those fake friends.

Every solution starts with an acceptance of the presence of a problem. If you find yourself in a situation like this, you have to accept that they were never your friends.

• You have to understand that you deserve Better: If you were betrayed by your best friend and as a result, you two are no longer friends. The betrayal would not stop you from missing them. It is totally normal to still miss them. Of course, you’d miss them. They were practically family. But trust me, you deserve better. When you come to the realization of that, you’d no longer be willing to settle for less and you definitely would be able to get over that friend.
• You have to stop reminiscing about the ‘good old days’: It is quite normal for you to still have memories of the good times you shared together. you have to stop yourself. How do I stop myself, Belinda? you may ask. You can stop yourself by constantly reminding yourself that they were a phase and it is time to move to better things and people.
• Trust the Universe: Yes! The universe knows what it's doing. It knows that humans need companionship so it brings people into our lives at moments it knows we could use a friend. These people, some have a short time frame while others don’t. Like in my case, the universe knew that I was a lonely teenager who missed her best friend and needed to have a new friend. The universe brought her my way and after her time was over, we both had to move on. Trust that the universe knows what it’s doing by letting you and your best friend drift apart. Maybe where you are heading in life is different from where they’re heading. It’s only normal for the universe to find a way to make the friendship fade away. Trust me, Soon you’d see it all makes sense that they are no longer in your life.

These are some ways that you can get over your ex-best friend. Notice all the ways I gave were all about ‘Knowing’. This is because every change begins with knowledge and decision from the mind. You want to cause a change in your life. It starts with knowledge of what the required change is, then a decision which takes place in the mind. In this case, you have decided you want to get over your ex-best friend. Do these things I have mentioned and You will definitely see results.