How To Get Out Of Pain

Spoiler alert: You’re going to have to do something different…

What do you do when you have an itch? You scratch it, of course. It’s a knee-jerk reaction that you don’t even have to think about. Your body practically does it without your awareness.

What do you do when you’re in pain? Often, you ‘scratch the itch’ by reaching for a quick fix, whether it be some kind of ointment, an ice pack, anti-inflammatory pills, or prescription pain medication. These quick fixes are often what keep you functioning when you’re in chronic pain, and it’s good that you have easy options.

Here’s the catch: A lot of us treat the pain we’re feeling with these quick fixes, but we never actually solve the underlying issue. We become satisfied with a temporary solution, that we’ve used more times than we can count, and become dependent upon it. Meanwhile, we wonder why we keep suffering from the same pain patterns over and over again over time. It’s because we keep doing the SAME THING, finding only temporary relief.

I’ve worked with over 1,000 clients over the last 16+ years and have provided tens of thousands of massages, training sessions, and coaching sessions. What I find again and again are clients who come to me at the end of their rope…they’re frustrated because they’re down to two options, in their mind: surgery, or working with me. They’ve been scratching the itch for months, years, sometimes decades, and often, their doctors have only treated them with medication, surgery, or cortisone shots. Their doctors are well-versed in itch-scratching.

What can we do to get out of this frustrating cycle? How do we stop scratching the surface, and actually start treating the underlying issues? First, and most importantly, we need to realize that the pain we feel is not a part of who we are. It’s just a message our body is giving us to tell us something is wrong. Those of us who are in chronic pain surround ourselves with quick fixes. We have ointments and bottles of pills by the bed. We keep the heating pad on our favorite chair, our ice packs in the freezer, icy hot or tiger balm in the medicine cabinet. We prop ourselves in bed with pillows so we can sleep through the night. It’s as if our ailments have taken up residence with us. They have their stuff all over our home, and they take up our personal time consistently, or even constantly in some cases. We’re in a relationship with our pain and health problems.

Here are a few ideas, to help get you out of the itch-scratch-itch cycle:

1. Do research. If you’ve found some ways to manage your pain, but are frustrated with the fact that you never get lasting relief, then it’s time to find new options. No matter how annoying, or tiring it might be, doing research into what has helped others in your situation can lead to some transformational answers. Searching for viable answers can be time-consuming in this age of information when there are thousands of options out there, but don’t stop. Not until you find a different answer that brings an actual solution.
2. Follow through. Once you find new options that bring you hope, then set up a meeting, assessment, or phone conversation with the new practitioner, or place of business you found. Go watch a class, even before you’re 100% certain you want to try it.
3. Read new books/ articles about the issue you’re going through. Read until you find something uplifting, something that helps you feel hope when you think about your issue, rather than that old feeling of being stuck and frustrated. Avoid reading anything that makes you lose hope. Stick to the positive stories and research, the kind with actual answers.
4. Move objects of pain management out of your sight. If you look around your living areas and see all of your pain management tools, then so does your subconscious. This is an important warning sign, and it tells you that you have accepted your situation so much, that you’ve created space for it in your home. You’ve moved it in as if it’s a roommate. I understand that some issues are serious medical conditions, and simply need to be managed for you to have your best life. No matter whether your challenge is lifelong, or temporary, it’s important to monitor the way you perceive the issues you’re faced with. Do you expect them to continue? Do you change your life to make room for them? Do they take over your life? Even if the doctors have told you that an issue will be in your life forever, do everything you can to keep yourself from thinking about it in a negative fashion. Use words that explain your challenges as temporary, when you talk AND when you think. When you catch yourself feeling down about it, shift to thinking or doing something else, something that brings more positive feelings. Do it so often that it becomes your normal way of dealing with the issue.
5. Practice visualizing your life WITHOUT the issue in question. If you close your eyes and imagine your life without pain, does some part of you relax? Do you even want to smile a little? Or, is it difficult to imagine yourself without it? Even if it’s hard for you to imagine your life without the issue in question, consistently practice visualizing your life without it, anyway. You’re retraining your brain to start believing you can live without the pain, and to stop expecting it. If you can get really good at imagining your life without a need for pain management, you may finally begin to let in the people, articles, books, experiences, and positive thoughts that can help you heal on a deeper level and feel more comfortable in your body. This is called cognitive dissonance.

If you imagine your life different than it is, better than it is, often enough, your brain will start to see that your current life is greatly separate from the life your visioning. It will subconsciously start aligning you with situations and people who will bring your current life, in reality, closer to the life you imagine. By visualizing your preferred situation, you can actually bring yourself closer to that reality by training your brain to go in that direction.

Imagine it, daily if you need to. Ignore the critic in your head who says: “you’ll never be pain-free”. Keep visualizing your home without pain management tools, imagine being able to walk and move comfortably. See yourself walking into someone’s office and feeling a release in your pain. I know this will be harder for some than others, and I know that some people will be able to decrease the pain significantly but not get rid of it. Even just a decrease in pain is worth the time it takes for a 2–5 minute daily visualization.

Your mind can be a tool or a cage. If you accept your reality, even though it isn’t what you’d like it to be, you may be cutting yourself off from other realities. You can begin creating a happier, more comfortable life by imagining yourself well, first.