How To Get Away With Self-Sabotage

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leave you in total discomfort. Saying NO is a real struggle for me — for everyone I believe.One dusk of January, I asked myself why I would go through hell just to give someone the convenience and comfort? Why am I so obsessed with their validation? Fear, popped inside my head. Yes, I am scared, too scared that I’m willing to set aside my self-interests just to produce thousands of extra mile cards with a strong belief that this will serve as my ticket to acceptance — from the society.Constantly pleasing people will not give you the guarantee to be accepted by society and you don’t have to drown yourself with that idea though. Sure, you are human. You yearn to wear that hat of belonging but until when you’ll strive for it? Is it still worth wearing after finding out that it has consumed you badly? You have to unleash yourself from the eyes of society and accept the fact that you can’t save everyone, that you don’t always have to sacrifice your comfort. Stop isolating yourself with the fear created by society.Being a people-pleaser doesn’t make you a relationship keeper. Yes, you’re drunk with the idea that when you’re good at pleasing people, you’re good at keeping them too — most of the time, it’s not. I’ve lost a lot of friendship first quarter of this year. They left without giving me a clear reason why. Throughout the whole time, I was persistent in winning their validation. They reciprocate and appreciate but that doesn’t mean that they will stick with you. Yes, peo

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ple come and go but people-pleaser view its essence a little different — they come and go: if we are not driven to go the extra mile every now and then. That’s a stupid thought, years of wearing a people-pleaser mask only make you dumb and easy. People will never see your worth, they can pick and dump you whenever they wanted because they know that you would always go through hell just to earn their validation.<h1 id="88fd">Stop mastering the art of pretense.</h1>You are allowed to wear your heart in your sleeves. You are entitled to show how fragile you are. Let your eyes drop some vulnerability. Don’t deprive yourself of being human. Yes, having a strong persona can give the people around the impulse to show you respect and that’s entirely fine.But the question is, are you giving yourself a generous fraction of respect too? If you’re still too obsessed with mastering the art of pretense then, NO.One way of respecting yourself is when you open your heart and mind from your vulnerabilities. By doing so, you’re allowing yourself to grow and learn. It helps you pinpoint the areas of your life that you have to work out. Let those tears water every broken tissue of your being, enough to hold series of success in the future.The bars of self-sabotage might be subtle and invisible but it’s stopping us from discovering our full potential. Keep pushing your hands against it until it breaks every fear, doubt, distress, and anxiety in that concrete isolation.</article></body>

Stop mastering the art of pretense.

Self-sabotage holds us back from unlocking our full potential. It blocks our way from moving further and taking greater heights. It’s “a nightmare dressed like a daydream”, I love that phrase from Taylor Swift’s heart-written song, Blank Space. It kind of put a strong emphasis on how self-sabotage can be deluding.

We’ll not recognize that we’re self-sabotaging our own life. It can be subtle, it hides from ways we thought is still good as we build ourselves. It could be a picture of you always being available to everyone, acting like you can save every soul, that you’re a hero but man you’re just giving them a chance to take you for granted without them feeling bad about it. And honestly, it’s not a good picture of yourself to stare at.

Sick of it? Here’s how to get away with it.

Stop being a people-pleaser.

I am guilty of this one because I am a certified people-pleaser. I was under the impression that people will not leave you if you always go the extra mile of making them happy even if that’ll leave you in total discomfort. Saying NO is a real struggle for me — for everyone I believe.

One dusk of January, I asked myself why I would go through hell just to give someone the convenience and comfort? Why am I so obsessed with their validation? Fear, popped inside my head. Yes, I am scared, too scared that I’m willing to set aside my self-interests just to produce thousands of extra mile cards with a strong belief that this will serve as my ticket to acceptance — from the society.

Constantly pleasing people will not give you the guarantee to be accepted by society and you don’t have to drown yourself with that idea though. Sure, you are human. You yearn to wear that hat of belonging but until when you’ll strive for it? Is it still worth wearing after finding out that it has consumed you badly? You have to unleash yourself from the eyes of society and accept the fact that you can’t save everyone, that you don’t always have to sacrifice your comfort. Stop isolating yourself with the fear created by society.

Being a people-pleaser doesn’t make you a relationship keeper. Yes, you’re drunk with the idea that when you’re good at pleasing people, you’re good at keeping them too — most of the time, it’s not. I’ve lost a lot of friendship first quarter of this year. They left without giving me a clear reason why. Throughout the whole time, I was persistent in winning their validation. They reciprocate and appreciate but that doesn’t mean that they will stick with you. Yes, people come and go but people-pleaser view its essence a little different — they come and go: if we are not driven to go the extra mile every now and then. That’s a stupid thought, years of wearing a people-pleaser mask only make you dumb and easy. People will never see your worth, they can pick and dump you whenever they wanted because they know that you would always go through hell just to earn their validation.

Stop mastering the art of pretense.

You are allowed to wear your heart in your sleeves. You are entitled to show how fragile you are. Let your eyes drop some vulnerability. Don’t deprive yourself of being human. Yes, having a strong persona can give the people around the impulse to show you respect and that’s entirely fine.

But the question is, are you giving yourself a generous fraction of respect too? If you’re still too obsessed with mastering the art of pretense then, NO.

One way of respecting yourself is when you open your heart and mind from your vulnerabilities. By doing so, you’re allowing yourself to grow and learn. It helps you pinpoint the areas of your life that you have to work out. Let those tears water every broken tissue of your being, enough to hold series of success in the future.

The bars of self-sabotage might be subtle and invisible but it’s stopping us from discovering our full potential. Keep pushing your hands against it until it breaks every fear, doubt, distress, and anxiety in that concrete isolation.