How To Find The Good In Every Person You Meet

You meet a new person. They’re seemingly trustworthy, agreeable and offer you a warm aura from the moment you arrive. Still, you can’t suppress the feelings of apprehension that come up. You want to believe that how they present themself is sincere, and still, you don’t want to be startled later on.

It’s easy to feel jaded after being hurt from past experiences. You want to believe that there is good in the world, and in people by and large. Still, the desire to believe becomes overpowered by the hurt you feel from the past. Here are some ways that helped me have a much more positive mindset about life even after being badly hurt.

Who do you want to be?

Life has challenges. Sometimes these challenges are so daunting that we don’t know how we’ll ever be able to overcome them. Even after a trial in life is over, our negative feelings from an experience can linger on. After a life filled with lots of adversity, it can be easy to let oneself think that the world is a dark place. After feeling wronged by people I thought were there to protect, love, and care for me, I found myself having these same thoughts. I caught myself being hesitant to let others in, fearing that I would face the same troubles if I opened myself up. I had these thoughts but what I really wanted was to give the world a chance again. I realized that even though I had been hurt more than my younger-self thought possible, I wanted to be the kind of person who believes in the good in people.

If I continued to let cynical thoughts lead my life, I would become someone I’ve never wanted to be. I had no desire to have a villain origin story — I didn’t want to turn into the evil witch hardened by the disorder in the world. No! I’ve long loved fairytales and fables and have always envisioned myself as the lead character who talks to animals and offers fresh home-baked bread to the people she loves. I always want to see the good in people, despite the pain I’ve endured in my own life. This is the first crucial step. Ask yourself: what kind of person do you want to be?

Look for the small things

While interacting with the world, try and look for the good. You don’t need to find the most significant act of kindness either. Start with the tiny things. I take a moment to look for the good in the world and notice so much. I see a child sharing his favorite snack with their friend on the playground. I see an expressionless face on the subway light up when they see their friend in the distance approaching them. While drinking my cappuccino in the sun, I notice a young couple in a restaurant across the street who are clearly in love. Unaware of their surroundings — the couple holds hands even as they eat. I carry a little notepad that I take with me so I can write these moments down when I see them. The more you focus on something, the more you’ll see it. Luckily, we can change our mindsets and be proactive about seeing the good. The more you focus on the cheerful parts of life (even the tiny ones), the more you’ll see of it!

There is goodness in this world—beauty, innocence, kindness, joy, and laughter. So don’t give up hope! You’ll find it if you continue searching.