How to Find the Courage in Yourself to Fulfill Your Life’s Milestones One by One

When you look back, you’ll be so proud of your decision to finally change things.

This year, even if we’re halfway into it, was the year I fulfilled huge milestones in my life. I checked items on my wish list at a speed unmatched at any point in my past life, which makes me feel immense joy and pride in terms of my self-development journey.

But how did it all happen?

When I look back on all that I managed to do and think about how I accomplished these steps, I can think of some shifts in how I chose to handle things in my life.

Surprise, surprise: Things didn't magically start to happen, and they won’t. I didn't stay the same as a person when these changes in my life occurred. I decided to change things in my life, and in response to that, my life really changed.

The key term here is deciding.

I understood and implemented the notion that the recipe for a positive change in your life is through the change in your decisions, plans, and ultimately, your behavior.

Slowly but steadily, I changed the trajectory of my life by focusing on and running after the things I really want in life. I stopped the invisible boundaries my mind created from holding me back and let myself make my moves this time.

To reach this state, I needed to do some alterations to my thoughts, decisions, and actions, which I will talk about and guide you through below.

1. Jump on opportunities, don’t ever hold yourself back

I lost one and a half years of physical university experience during the pandemic like a lot of students during that time.

This situation naturally inhibited me to go after opportunities in my field like internships or working in the university’s labs; things I originally planned to do earlier but never “felt ready” for. The pandemic only delayed those goals further.

When we turned back to school, I was in my senior year. The thought of not having done much in my university years and not using my full potential has shaken me to the core and made me actually take action.

Because I wanted to gain more experience and fill my resume, this time I was decisive about running after different opportunities like volunteer work, research assistantship, and physical internships during my senior year.

After a lot of trials and errors, I fulfilled all of these goals. I made them my reality by sending emails, talking with people, asking questions, always being on the lookout for and searching for new opportunities, and not giving up when I faced simple adversities. This was the change I implemented in myself.

As a result, it has been my busiest academic year filled with a lot of side projects, an internship, volunteering, and extracurricular activities. I recently graduated with a high honor degree in psychology. But the most notable experience for me this year was the pilot study I conducted with the help of an academic advisor.

I added many skills to my toolbox whilst doing it. I rolled up my sleeves and learned to program for it, pruned my statistics and presentation skills, attended weekly meetings for months, and sacrificed my Sundays for a long time. I even had to take a break from writing because I simply didn't have time.

I devoted all my time to it, to grow it from a seed to a tree. But this project that started from a simple proposal opened many doors for me that I couldn’t imagine beforehand. It also bestowed me the knowledge and experience that could only be reached via the time and effort I spent developing it.

I won a grant from a scientific foundation, got accepted to a summer research internship at a prestigious university, and got accepted to present my study at a research festival in front of academicians all thanks to it.

These are the things I couldn’t imagine myself doing before because I lacked the courage and didn’t believe in myself that I could do such things.

I now am so glad that I created these opportunities for myself and didn't hold myself back as I did in the past. I did this simply by deciding to change things for good and taking action in that direction.

The lesson? Reach out to people. Don’t be afraid to send a basic email, or ask a simple question, to your boss, professor, advisor, friend, or colleague. These are your weapons for your future prospects. Your next endeavor is only one question or conversation away.

You can’t believe how one thing can lead to another and open many doors in your life; like a chain reaction. You only need to start from somewhere. You only learn and tap into your potential of what you can do by asking, going after, and chasing things; not by sitting, waiting, and wailing.

Nothing falls on your lap directly. You have to show a little effort to make it stop by and make itself present in your life. All you need is a little step to start, and the rest will unbuckle.

Even if you face rejection and injustice, that rejection can inspire and motivate you for a better thing, if you let it be. You have nothing to lose but to gain.

Don’t let your pride stop you from doing what you really want. Think about how you’ll regret it in the future if you didn't even try for that position you wanted so much, knowing that you didn't show any effort and shied away.

You’ll regret not talking to, not giving chance to new people and opportunities. So right now, start jumping on opportunities, and don't let invisible borders that your mind creates stop you anymore.

There’s nothing more joyful than creating something of value, from scratch, by yourself. Don’t prevent yourself from having these valuable experiences.

2. You deserve it as much as other people deserve it, believe in yourself

If you feel like you’re not as good as others in stuff, what makes you think you’re unworthy of doing the things you so much desire and see other people do with ease, but you believe you can't, because, you know, you’re not like “them”? This is exactly how we undermine our potential.

You might think that someone else is better suited for the position you desire equally, if not more. You might think they are more charismatic, and resourceful, and that’s why they are a better bet. You might think that they are readier than you and more experienced. *Insert imposter syndrome here*

These critical voices in our heads that stem from our insecurities hold us back from jumping to new opportunities that we might actually flourish with. I used to think like this. As a perfectionist, I would find many ways to undermine my abilities and glorify others’.

In reality, no one dives into a position, a job, or a task, already knowing every detail about it and having already figured out what to do. We all learn along the way. We make mistakes, we stumble and get up. And that creates the best learning environment.

Everyone has a unique set of strengths and abilities. You might have the strength that the others lack. You deserve what you want as much as others, and you have every right to run after it. You can do whatever you want as long as you put your mind to it and believe in yourself.

It’s easy to doubt ourselves and see other people’s more successful parts on the surface and make distorted social comparisons. In reality, no one is perfect in what they do and none of us perfectly know what to do in every situation beforehand. We all learn through the process.

The lesson? Work on your insecure parts and the overthinking mind that tells you why you don't deserve a spot, why you are a worse candidate, and prove to yourself that these voices are unrealistic and they undermine your learning and your potential.

Basically, stop overthinking and start jumping on opportunities. Don’t have second thoughts about something that excites you. Just go for it. Make this your motto.

Even if you’re inexperienced and unknowledgeable in one area, if you’re willing to learn and put energy into it, if you’re motivated, there’s nothing that can stop you to improve in that area and try your best.

As you get into these opportunities, you’ll discover the untapped potential in you and become even more confident in what you’re able to do. You’ll rediscover yourself.

3. Have big dreams, but don’t let those dreams stay as distant possibilities

Dreaming has always been one of my favorite activities. Daydreaming about my future ideal self in a place I want to be, doing the things, and going to places I always desired to do, go, looking in the way I want to look… I’ve always liked to construct a future image of myself I want to reach someday.

Dreaming is good and healthy as it broadens your horizons, gives you inspiration, and motivates you; but it’s important to not let those dreams stay as distant, unrealistic scenarios where you don’t even try to implement them and let them stay as fantasies.

Many of us have dreams and ideals but they are more like fleeting images in the sky, unreachable, breathing in another universe, ethereal, and impossible to snatch.

But if you have realistic dreams that consistently breathe in your mind, they are like future goals, and if you’re decisive to turn them into reality then you will show your best effort to work on them to bring those dreams into your life.

This year I finally fulfilled my 10-year dream of attending my favorite band’s concert. This might sound like a basic dream for most, but oh boy, it was on my bucket list for as long as I remember and held a deep meaning in my heart.

This was my favorite band in my teenage years, and I was crazy about them for a long time. The saddening part was they never came to my country for a concert when they did their world tours in different countries. I always told myself I can’t die before I see this band and hear their music live at least once in my life.

In 2019, when they announced they’d do their next world tour in 2020, after years of not being able to go, this time I was certain that I’d go. I immediately bought tickets for me and my sister after the tour announcement. Even if the concert was abroad, we decided that we’d travel to see them.

Then the pandemic happened, and the concert got delayed for 2 years, which left me hopeless. Especially after the second delay, I was almost convinced that this concert was not going to happen, and I lost all the hope that I had of ever seeing them live, crushing my years-long dream.

Finally, in 2022, the concert was really happening this time and we started to make preparations for our trip months prior to the concert.

But check this out, my sister had trouble with her visa application as she studied abroad since last year and she wasn't able to come to the concert because of it (we tried every way to prevent such a thing from happening but it nevertheless did). Such crises happened, but I was determined that I’d go.

Then, after asking too many people to come with me and also accepting and preparing myself that I could go alone to the concert if no one came with me, I finally found a friend who was willing to go abroad with me for the concert.

(Let me note that it was hard to find someone because most people don’t have a ready visa and my country’s economy sucks so not everyone can go abroad very easily in this period)

The outcome: I traveled abroad for the first time by myself, hopping on a plane alone, handling all my visa process, accommodation, tickets, and all the details of my travel for a 4 day adventure in Italy with my friend.

In retrospect, it was worth all the trouble. I had the time of my life there. I saw my favorite band live, had a blast, and it was all I ever wanted.

I checked this major item off my bucket list and fulfilled my ultimate teenage dream. To do this, I took on many responsibilities and the courage that I didn't take in my life before. Because this time, I was determined to turn this dream into a reality.

Fulfilling this dream was not only a pure joy but it also made me realize my potential to handle tough situations and solve problems and how I can manage unplanned situations. It proved my anxieties were wrong and made me believe in myself more.

The lesson? Go ahead and make it your job to fulfill your life-long dreams. Your dreams have a purpose, they are not fairytales. They desire to be a part of your life, but you need to show effort. Ask yourself, what do you need to do in order to fulfill them?

Draw yourself a roadmap. How you can reach there? What changes do you need to commit in your life? What unhealthy thought patterns and habits do you need to ditch? Don’t let your dreams and ideals float in a distant universe. Make an effort to catch and bring them into your reality.

Final Note

Change doesn’t happen fast. Don’t rush things and pressure yourself to reach immediate, visible results. If you want permanent changes in your life, start slowly, take it easy, and don't expect big leaps at a time.

Reflect, identify and work on your unhealthy thoughts, and identify what you really want. Step by step, work on changing your mindset, thought patterns, decisions, and behavior to implement your goals and realize your hidden potential.

To find courage in yourself to achieve the milestones in your life, try to ponder and implement the points above. I slowly but surely changed my life for the better, and it has been the best decision I’ve made.