How to Fight For the Life You Want to Live (Even If You’ve Been Knocked Down More Times Than You Can Count)
Because what else are you going to do?
If you had to give your life a grade at this point in time, what would you give yourself?
Are you ranking it a solid B/B+, or are you down in C or D territory? Being in F territory is a sad sight to see, and I think you and I can both spot somebody who is in such a place in their life.
Although popular culture puts many ideas into our heads about what it means to live “the good life”, this is ultimately something which is very personal to us and varies widely from person to person.
Even though a good life means something different for everybody, here are some general strategies and mindsets which will help you to fight like hell for that higher ground even when you’ve fallen off the wagon more times than you’d like to admit.
“Gonna keep on tryin’ till I reach the highest ground”- Red Hot Chili Peppers
An Easy First Step
At least I hope that this first step will be easy enough for you. Quite simply, get real with yourself about what it is you don’t want!
What would make you miserable? What would give you a sense of dread and keep you up at night with that gnawing pit of anxiety and doom in your stomach?
It would probably suck to be overweight and unhealthy and thus more susceptible to disease and facing the host of health issues which come along with such a lifestyle. It would wear on just about anyone to be faced with prolonged financial insecurity and not knowing if you can pay your bills. It sounds rather unpleasant to live a life alone and devoid of human love and connection.
Get real with yourself. I have a powerful exercise you can try as well.
What you can do is to envision what your own “personal hell” would be. Heaven and Hell after all are what we create out of the life we live.
Then write up what that “hell” would be on a piece of paper or on a word document.
You can then take that piece of paper out to somewhere in nature where it is quiet and secluded, then what you do is you burn that paper, and thus light up that personal hell. It is a powerful experience. It is making a pact with yourself that you must grow beyond what you are and not fall into complacency.
Know what you don’t want first, then run in the opposite direction.
Don’t Overcomplicate this Step
Like I said before, popular culture and social media have put many ideas into our heads about what it means to live a good life. Thus, it can make anybody feel like they are a screw up unless they are making 6 figures, driving a fancy car, and going on extravagant vacations to the Cayman islands every 6 weeks while they sip on their fancy latte that costs $8.78.
Hey that’s cool, and you can go for that if you so choose. However it doesn’t need to always be so lavish. Tabloids and the uprising of shows like MTV Cribs have warped our views about what it means to live a good life.
Instead, start by choosing something which you feel is worth moving towards in your life, take aim, and work relentlessly at getting to that destination. This can be learning a new skill, making a certain amount of money, having a certain type of relationship, or even building healthier habits.
Have you ever heard of the snowball effect? This simply states how positive decisions we make can snowball into even more positive decisions and positive outcomes. As an example, you are more likely to feel energized to work out and get to the gym if you start eating cleaner. Then because you are working out more you then start sleeping better. Because you are sleeping better you feel more energy during the day. Because you feel more energy, you decide to take on that project you’ve been dreaming about, and the snowball keeps growing.
Be careful though, because this snowball effect can work in the other direction as well.
Find something, anything that excites you and you know will give you a better life and improve you as a human being and run towards it as fast as you can. Work on it a little bit everyday.
This Will Help to Make you Unstoppable
Yeah I know, you’ve been knocked down more times than you can count, so have I (cue music from the world’s smallest violin).
I’ll even tell you that a lot of my own suffering and grief was completely self-inflicted and I had nobody to blame other than myself. I know these things now, which is why I must choose to learn from them and move forward.
We are all going to make mistakes. Sometimes we don’t know any better and they are unavoidable. Sometimes we do know better yet our egos get in the way and sabotage us in the process. Either way, what is past is past, you can never change it.
What you can do is choose to take the lesson out of every failure in your life. Every screw up, every rejection, find the lesson and implement it into your life before you try again.
“You don’t lose if you get knocked down, you lose if you stay down”-Muhammed Ali
In most cases in life, you are going to need to fail your way to success. Don’t be afraid of failure, it is a sign that you are in the batter’s box taking swings. It’s always going to be better to strike out than to never step up to the plate in the first place, so step up champ!
Invaluable Lessons
Inevitably in life, there are going to be people who have more than us, and those who have less than us.
There are going to be plenty of people who are in a place where we would personally love to be ourselves. For this reason, it is very important to seek out the guidance of those people who have what you want and look to implement their strategies.
This is why coaches can be such a valuable tool. I look at my martial arts coaches and I can see that they have achieved a level of skill, discipline, and confidence that I really want to achieve, so I choose to be humble and follow their guidance and tutelage to the best of my ability.
Seek out resources from influencers who have what you want. Whether that be in the realm of finances, relationships, or spiritual growth, you need to find inspiration from those who have been there and are open to spreading their knowledge.
Sometimes it might even be worth it to invest money in a course or in coaching with a specific person who has gotten to a place you want to be. Investing money into yourself like this can actually send a very powerful message to your subconscious mind. It shows you how you are worth spending money on to reach the level of success you want to reach.
One of the best investments will always be in your growth and education. Spend the money on yourself instead of on the latest gadget, it will always be worth it!
This Will Help you to Keep Your Sanity
If you look hard enough, you will always be able to find something to gripe about in your life.
Everybody has problems, even the millionaire. His problems are just a lot bigger than yours! The Millionaire might even be wishing that he was in your place right now with the small potatoes debt you are dealing with as opposed to the millions he’s in with a failing investment along with a marriage which is on the rocks.
Even if you personally feel like you are struggling and you have things pretty bad at this point in your life, somebody has it worse. If you are reading this on your electronic device, then there is a 99% chance you also have a roof over your head and have food in the refrigerator.
This is not about needing to downplay your own life problems, however it is about maintaining a healthy level of perspective in your life.
Perspective can help us to be grateful for what we do have, which in turn will help to keep us happier and more content since we can see the blessings we already have in life.
Perspective can help us to realize that the hardships we face are not permanent. If we stay diligent and put our heads down and grind, we can make it through whatever is plaguing us at the time.
Perspective can also help us to see what we have achieved up to this point in our life. Because you have faced and overcome challenges, if not, you probably wouldn’t be here now.
Take a step back and examine your life from a birds eye view, this will help you to stay grounded on the journey.
You have to have perspective, if you don’t you will be unappreciative of what you do have and frankly miserable.
The Most Important Question to Ask Yourself
You might be thinking at this point, “yeah man this all sounds great and all, but I can’t make the life I want to live happen because [insert xyz excuse]”.
I know how you feel. It is so easy and tempting to get enshrouded in a victim mentality and feel like we have been dealt a worse hand of cards than others. “If it wasn’t for my parents”, “if it wasn’t for the trauma I’ve experienced”, “if it wasn’t for all the time wasted”.
You know what, maybe you are right in a sense. Perhaps achieving the life you want for yourself is harder than it is for some people. We’ve all been born into different bodies, with different families, different circumstances, different temperaments, and different natural talents and abilities.
Some people won the genetic lottery. Some people struck gold with the family they were born into, this is all true.
So…what are you going to do now?
Ask yourself this question any time you get discouraged and don’t feel like moving forward.
What else are you going to do? Quit? You have too much life left in you to do that.
If you stay on the journey long enough, you will eventually learn an invaluable lesson. Trying is always-ALWAYS going to feel better than giving up. If you give up on your dreams then you give up on yourself. Eventually you learn how the juice of life doesn’t necessarily come from getting what we want, but from the trying instead.
It’s the sticking our neck out there, taking those risks, being audacious and bold. You have to have this if you want to live an exciting and worthwhile life. The greatest reward comes from doing the work and the respect you gain for yourself as a result.
Keep trying! What else are you going to do?
The Journey Never Ends
I want you to join me on this adventure of creating the reality that you want to create for yourself. The beautiful thing is that as long as you are alive you have the capability to carve out something wonderful for yourself.
You are the creator of your own reality and of your own destiny, do not sell yourself short on this!
“The secret to life is to fall seven times and get up eight times”-Paulo Coelho
You must first find what you wish to avoid in your life! Then move towards your own personal bliss. Do not get discouraged when you get knocked down, if you can look up then you can get up, so take the lesson and keep going.
Find those who inspire you and follow their leadership. Understand where you are and be grateful for this by having a healthy level of perspective, and just keep on going!
Life is a journey, a beautiful and fun journey if we allow it to be.
Keep on fighting, it is always going to be better than sitting in the shadows.
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