How To Express Gratitude Even When Things Seem Dark

A grateful heart sparks a direction of anew.

“The essence of all beautiful art is gratitude.”

— Friedrich Nietzche

Many of you know that I had breast cancer in 2019. It was the darkest of news in my mind. Yet, I share that in the darkest of times, all it takes is the tiniest spark of gratitude to ignite a miracle. I’m grateful to be alive, but the aftermath of cancer has been almost just as hard or maybe even harder.

I know that some people can’t handle this topic of miracles and believe in their strength only. If this is you, I’m not here to convince you otherwise. I’m here today to share my open heart of how gratitude because of God changes the healing process.

I’m healed of cancer yet left with a body I can barely stand to look at in the mirror. So, guess what? I just don’t look.

This morning is different. I have had an awakening to the fact that God is the ultimate artist! How could I be so critical of his masterpiece?

I am truly humbled as I write this thank you note to God today. But first, I must wipe away the tears as I share my heart. They are tears of sadness that I’ve allowed my mind to go to such a dark place with my body imperfections. However, they are also tears of joy to have been healed.

Some of you know that I started watercolor painting. So, I thought about what if somebody criticized my painting. How would I feel? Still, most days, I wake up and criticize my body within the first minute of being awake. What is wrong with me? I must finally wake up. It must be a bad dream. How have I become so numb to my thoughts? I’m learning it has a lot to do with our egos.

We have a choice in how the story goes. I’m choosing to ask God for forgiveness and finally know that my scars from cancer were already in his plans, and he makes all things new and beautiful when we allow him to be the actual creator.

What a mess I’ve made trying in my own strength to change the way I look. I’m surrendering all of me today. He can have the extra weight, the scars, and even the pain.

I know that I cannot compare my minuscule painting to God’s creations, yet the flowers I painted were not turning out, and suddenly, when I stopped trying so hard, something changed. Not bad for a beginner. Picasso maybe not. We are so hard on ourselves in so many ways!

I’m glad to be alive and thankful for a new awakening. There isn’t a human alive who doesn’t have wounds. Some are on the surface, and others are so deep that they lay dormant for years. I’m cracking my body image wide open today so that the light can finally shine in.

Gratitude lets the light shine in for things to change. I’m not saying it will be easy during those difficult times, yet it is essential for change to happen genuinely. It’s easier to be thankful when everything is going well, but in the hard times, it shows our true strength.

Gratitude is like a battery to our souls to energize us again and again. I think my batteries must have run low. How about you? I’m glad mine is just low. What about the wounds that have caused your batteries to corrode? If wounds never see the light of day, this can happen and cause internal bitterness and hatred.

Let’s let the light shine. Sometimes the darkness must exist, or why would we need light?

Remembering

We all have hard times in our lives that can leave us shell shocked. Going over these in our head is not healthy but ignoring them isn’t the right approach either.

Suppose we ignore our feelings and never deal with our hurts, then sarcasm can become a way of life. However, if we keep talking about our wounds and never reframe them appropriately, we become the victim.

We all know that things could always be worse. Is this why we gravitate to hearing bad news? My Grandma did this up until her last breath here on earth. I believe this is a twisted sort of way to make ourselves feel better.

Why is comparing easier for us instead of looking in the mirror? We already know that it could be so much worse than we have it.

So, when I say remember, I mean to remember those experiences of hurt, guilt, abandonment, anger, death, illness but remember that you made it through them.

You are still here. Those experiences make you who you are today. You are alive and able to make a change with gratitude being a guide.

So perhaps it’s time to reframe a little more before you are ready to pull out the gratitude journals. Just meet yourself where you are today.

Reframing

To reframe is to ask yourself some deep, thought-provoking questions. These are not easy but always worth the effort.

If we never had to suffer, we would already be in heaven. Jesus warned us that there would be troubles here on earth.

Don’t allow your troubles to become walls or roadblocks. Some people build walls around themselves – one brick of negativity upon the next where they push out any good in their own lives. In contrast, some people see troubles as opportunities for growth.

Asking yourself a few questions during these challenges that life has brought your way can spark the hope necessary for a new sense of gratitude in life.

Anew

Begin with the question of what lesson did this teach me?

We are constantly learning every day, but maybe we seek outside resources too much and need to really look inside for this answer. I’m sorry there isn’t a cheat sheet for this one.

Maybe start with, did your experience bring out any abilities within you? You might not see these right away, yet spending time nurturing yourself through the experience might unleash these gems.

In looking back, can you find things to be thankful for to take with you into the future? Your future best self believes in you and is hoping you will take these gifts with you.

It’s never too late to be thankful for the person you are becoming. These experiences of hardship are like the clay that hardens on the pottery wheel.

Gratitude is the water God needs to remold those imperfections within ourselves that the world has a way of creating.

We must allow God the gratitude he needs to mold us into his perfect creations. The world has free will and creates these problems, not God!

Lastly, you could ask if there is anything that these hardships have removed in order so you could feel gratitude once again in your life?

Understanding

Please remember that reliving tragic events over and over in your head is not healthy.

Also, there is no amount of journaling that can help unless you are willing to reframe these events appropriately with the hopes and prayers of a new beginning.

I want to leave you with my thank you note to God.

I’m doing this before I get out of my bed from a place of safety. The world can tend to beat us up, but I’m no longer choosing to participate in it.

Dear God,

I come to you this morning with my heart cracked wide open for you to see. The world has its funny way of beating us up, but we do even more harm to ourselves at times.

Today is different, Lord; I’m grateful for this opportunity to share my gifts with the world. That I know you have created me exactly how I am supposed to look and be. I am your personal masterpiece. I will never be finished until the day I take my last breath here.

Therefore, I will continue to sprinkle gratitude. I consider this your living water unto my life so that you can mold me into your perfect masterpiece.

I’m stepping out of the self-criticizing mirror to allow you the room you need. I surrender to your ways.

Please forgive me for the mess I’ve made, and I’m grateful to be a piece of work still in production.

I come to you confidently through Jesus, and I can’t thank you enough!

Remaining Faithful Always,

Kris Bedenian

I’m thankful for God’s daily word. I’m also grateful for Trista Signe Ainsworth for her publication which brings healing and joy to many people; Thank You Notes.