Effective Strategies for Improving Communication with Your Manager

Coaching is a step-by-step development, while feedback is occasional advice, which can vary in usefulness. Consistent coaching from a manager is more valuable than blunt feedback without clear steps for improvement.

“Feedback tells you what you did; coaching tells you what to do next.” — Michael Bungay Stanier

I used to struggle with handling my manager’s feedback, whether it was positive or constructive. Sometimes, it felt like they provided feedback without actively engaging with my work, especially when it was negative feedback.

I believe the key to setting and achieving goals with your manager lies in answering the question, “How?” Establishing clear goals with specific steps for achieving those goals or key results is vital. Setting goals may be relatively straightforward, but determining the steps to reach them can be challenging.

Here is where a manager’s role becomes significant. A good manager should guide you through the steps to your goals. They should provide clear directions and set the pace with you.

However, if your manager isn’t proficient at defining these steps or lacks proactive coaching experience, consider taking charge and “managing” your manager. Regardless of your current relationship with your manager, try to make the most of it.

In this post, I will share my experiences on the best ways I discovered to optimize your relationship with your manager for the best possible outcome.

Handling Constructive Feedback from Your Manager

• First and foremost, remain calm — it’s not the end of the world. I used to react strongly to constructive feedback and become defensive. However, it’s essential to remember that, regardless of the feedback’s tone or quality, it signifies an opportunity for improvement. The crucial aspect is knowing how to improve.
• Listen attentively to what your manager is saying, and if possible, jot down key issues they mention. For each point, engage your manager in a discussion about how you could have approached it differently. Guide the conversation to ensure it remains focused, with a clear objective of obtaining actionable steps for each specific issue.
• Create a shared document between you and your manager, using any medium available, to record concise statements regarding the actions your manager suggests you take. Organize that document with goals as headings, then list the actionable steps required.
• Agree with your manager on a realistic timeline for achieving each goal, considering the size and effort required for the action items. Include some extra time as a buffer.
• In future one-on-one meetings with your manager, refer to this document to track and share your progress toward these goals. While this doesn’t need to happen at every meeting, it’s important to update your manager periodically to demonstrate your commitment and remind them of the ongoing progress.

Enhancing Your Relationship with Your Manager

People appreciate being heard, including your manager. Demonstrate your attentiveness by actively listening to their input. You can achieve this by taking notes during discussions, asking clarifying questions, and, when reasonable, promptly addressing their requests.

When receiving constructive feedback on your work, show genuine interest in your manager’s perspective and experience. Be open to absorbing their advice and taking action on it. Prioritize quick win improvements to demonstrate your commitment to implementing their feedback.

Setting Career Goals with Your Manager

• Thoroughly review your company’s progression framework in the handbook. Identify attainable goals that align with your aspirations. You don’t need to cover all aspects of the next level’s framework; focus on goals that are sufficient for a promotion, but consult with your manager for confirmation.
• Start by achieving “easy win” goals, such as coaching or mentoring others, conducting interviews, or sharing company-wide knowledge through blog posts. These activities can sharpen your skills and make you interview-ready if you decide to explore new opportunities.
• Maintain a key results document in collaboration with your manager, regularly reviewing it together. Clearly outline the actions required for each key result and set realistic timelines, often aligned with ongoing projects.
• Solicit feedback from your peers regularly on work related to your goals. This practice keeps your manager informed about your progress toward these objectives.
• Seek your manager’s feedback on your goals regularly. Maintain separate documents for promotion goals and areas of improvement, employing a similar process as discussed earlier.

Offering Your Feedback to Your Manager

Surprisingly, your manager needs to hear what you think about them.

Managers often don’t get enough feedback from the people they lead, which is a problem for their improvement.

I understand you might worry that your manager will use your words against you or retaliate if they don’t like your feedback. But, ignore these thoughts and consider that being honest and respectful when giving feedback to your manager is something they will appreciate and maybe even thank you for. Even if your manager is tough, they will respect your courage in speaking your mind confidently and openly.

Here are some tips for giving feedback to your manager:

• Keep your points short and direct, and provide examples.
• Prepare your feedback before your meeting.
• Note it down somewhere so you don’t forget.
• You can formally write it in your company’s feedback platform for reference.
• Ask your manager for their thoughts on each point and whether they agree.
• If your manager is resistant, anticipate their objections and prepare counterexamples or counterarguments. Avoid arguing and stick to the facts. If you face resistance, express your feelings and willingness to discuss how to work together to resolve the issue.
• Suggest specific actions for your manager to take on each goal, so they don’t forget.

If, after several attempts to follow up on your feedback, your manager doesn’t seem to be trying to change, consider escalating the feedback to their manager or higher-ups.

It’s crucial to always maintain good relationships with your step manager. Keep them informed about your work, challenges, and successes. Having regular one-on-one meetings with your step managers, even if it’s just once a month or every two months, is one way to achieve this.

In conclusion, nurturing a positive relationship with your manager and effectively processing feedback is essential for career growth. These aspects facilitate meaningful discussions and provide clarity on your career path.

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✍️ I write about Software System Design, Career Advice, Communication Skills, and Personal Development.