Costa Rica Adventures X
How to Eat a Mango
Hint: Don’t try this in public!
One of the best things about living in the tropics is the ready availability of exotic fruits. They’re everywhere. Banana plants are like weeds here. Citrus and mango trees, guava and papaya, mamón chinos, mangostans… the list goes on. In Costa Rica, daily consumption of delicious fresh fruits is practically unavoidable.
My all-time favorite fruit is a ripe, juicy mango. I had promised myself to sketch or paint every fruit the first time I ate one here in Costa Rica, but I can’t even look at a mango, much less stare at it for the time it takes to render it in watercolor, without smashing it into my face on the spot.
I guess you could call me a “mango-holic.”
Here’s how to eat one.
Caution: Don’t allow anyone to observe you, regardless of the method you choose.
Method 1 — Savage: Rip into one while leaning over the sink, munch through the sweet, pulpy flesh, let the juice run down your chin, your hands, and drip off your elbows, while you visualize those happy drain-denizens drinking every drop that descends. Wipe your face, rinse your hands, and reach for the dental floss. And then get the mop out because the floor will be sticky too.
Method 2—Adult: Neatly peel and slice the flesh from the central pit, cut into bite-size segments like a grown-up would do, and serve with a dollop of vanilla ice cream. To die for.
Method 3—Elegant: This is my favorite, and probably the most elegant method. Don’t peel. Slice the bulk of the flesh from the pit in two cuts parallel to the broad side of the pit. (If you can, save the pit for later gnawing over the sink. No, forget I said that. Saving for later is not a option.) Then, with a sharp (but not too sharp) knife, cut the juicy flesh lengthwise and crosswise in a crosshatch pattern, as shown below, taking care not to break the skin—neither yours nor the mango’s.
Now, holding one of the halves in both hands with the cut side towards you — I know! That darn juice is dripping again, all over the place! — press your fingers into the peel side and turn it inside out. With each bite-size chunk now standing proud, a soup spoon or butter knife will gently scrape the bits into a bowl, ready for adding to fruit salad or ice cream or cramming directly into your pie-hole.
Please note that when (if) I get to this stage, I often find myself outside on the deck, leaning over the rail, biting each chunk directly off the peel, dripping down my face, hands, elbows onto the ground below, into the tiny mouths of whatever mini-critters arrive to enjoy the bounty.
If you’re anything like me, don’t try this on a first-date. Or any date. Or in public. Or at a dinner party in your home. Or in front of your significant other… EVER! I promise you, you will regret it.
A further caution: Do NOT take mangos on a picnic with your lover. You’ll end up smearing mango juice all over his naked body and then slowly licking it off, wasting hours of effort when you could have just eaten it directly. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
So many fruits, so little time.
