How To Do Battle When Overwhelm Kicks Down The Front Door
What to do on the days it's all simply too fucking hard
Have you ever had a day where you feel too many feels? So many feels in fact that your head or heart may explode? There are times it feels your chest may explode? Does it feel like your body has gone splat against a brick wall and you’ve slid to the floor like a cartoon character?
Have you ever experienced feelings and thoughts are so intense that they consume all of you and it can feel like you are drowning down into yourself? Fear begins to arise because you can't get a moment's peace to get calm and allow the rational to return.
This experience is incredibly isolating. On the outside, you look normal. On the inside you are running stupid shit scenarios like “will I survive this moment, am I dying?”
For me what triggered anxiety and overwhelm was a breast cancer diagnosis. My own personal anxiety circumstance was compounded with PTSD after being trapped inside a mammogram biopsy driver machine. Not fun.
For other people, this is their life, filled with anxiety and depression. Day after day. Stuck in a sick sort of groundhog day. Moving in circles on a mouse wheel.
With COVID, we are all experiencing unknown chaos right now, every single time we turn on the television, scrolling through social media or even walking down the street with our masks on. I tell myself to continue being bright, brave and strong in times of chaos. Some days that pep talk is successful, lately it’s wearing a little thin.
I am observing young and small people with societal stress and not many are coping who are invested outside of themselves. For those who remained grounded, centred, focussed, and balanced on them-self and their stuff, they are the ones who remain resilient.
In those finite moments when it feels like my heart would burst out of my chest, the positive inner dialogue was challenging to maintain. I used every tool in my kit some days just to keep breathing normally.
“Self-care is how we take back our power” — Leticae Rae
The art of self-care in this modern, fast, crazy paced world is in such high need today. The influence of subliminal messaging through mainstream and social media is insidious and fear inciting. Words like “we have an unknown enemy”, or “we are at war”.
Seriously the media need to be held accountable for a nations mental health crisis right now.
And then there is the bombardment of conspiracy theory flooding the market which causes societal mistrust. Everything we read has a thread of truth to it, but there is also an aspect of a good story element. It hooks into our belief system and we read and listen to more and then question what is real rather than simply unplugging for a bit.
There are several things I have discovered which support me when overwhelm threatens to kick down my front door.
It’s so easy to experience anxiety when we feel out of control. What I found helped me out of a dark place, was to plan simple and easy to implement activities and actions, that I could personally undertake, to keep myself safe in that moment of chaos. I found channelling my energy in this proactive way put me back into the driver’s seat of accountability and self-responsibility.
Additionally, doing small actions go a long way towards reducing the negative habits that keep us locked within overwhelm, overthinking and anxiety. The more positive you can do on a conscious level, the quicker you can unravel what it is you don’t want and let it go.
The mental perception of personal safety goes a long way to soothing our frayed nervous systems. This can be achieved in a number of ways.
1. Detach from external drama
Limit how much negativity or information which triggers your anxiety. This may include limiting exposure to repeated news bulletins, social media posts, or even talking about controversial topics like COVID. Limit your exposure to those who are negative or who have a fear-based outlook on life.
An excellent form of self-care is just doing you for a while.
2. Slow down on purpose
The saying of “take time to stop and smell the roses” is actually golden. Think about it this way. When you slow down, your senses capture more. You see your children smile. You hear and take note of what they are laughing at. You see miracles all around you.
When you slow down, you allow your brain to consciously process more sensory information so that it is not seen as a threat and your nervous system then has a chance to calm down out of the flight or fight state. Slowing down is the perfect consciously motivated self-care gift for self.
3. Take time out
Often when our nervous system feels frayed, it’s very challenging to slow down let alone sit still. Sometimes a quick break of hanging out the washing or stepping outside to pat the dog is sufficient to break the cycle of whatever consuming thoughts were doing laps inside your head.
A time out is literally a change in physical scenery and sensory input. It forces your brain to logically re-assess the change of scenery as a potential threat or safe haven. The more re-assessment breaks you gift yourself each day, the faster the opportunity you have to retrain your brain and migrate towards a relaxed state of being.
4. Smudge my space
I smudge my sacred space daily. I smudge it some more between clients, or if we’ve had visitors. My space is sacred because it’s where my body rests and repairs. I need that energetic space to be clear.
Smudging is thought to connect people to their Creator and provides communities with a way to gain spiritual protection and blessings, as well as to improve spiritual health. The smoke created by burning sacred herbs is thought to purify the body and soul and bring clarity to the mind.
I find it great to shift out mother-in-laws from my space!
6. Turn on your crystal salt lamps
Even the most negative minded visitor to my home has agreed, that my salt lamps are mood-enhancing. They are never turned off unless I am away. Therefore there is always some form of light shining throughout my house. This is symbolic for me given I set my intention to connect and shine my light daily.
Furthermore, the variety of crystal salt lamps I have throughout every room in my house serve to act as dust magnets. A quick wipe once a week and they are clean again. Attracting airborne dust is fantastic for those of us with allergies and asthma. Additionally reducing dust levels also improves sleep!
Find a similar mood enhancer for your sacred space. Even a bunch of fresh flowers each week can lift one’s spirit.
7. Guided Meditation
Meditation is scientifically proven and medically recommended now as a stress management tool. In the height of my PTSD anxiety, I could not concentrate or focus anymore on my own. At that time I couldn’t even sit to read. I couldn’t think straight.
I began short guided meditations which started with only a couple of minutes. They gave me an immense reprieve from the heart palpitations. The guided instructions also gave me permission to hand over the reins for a little bit. I could relax at that moment and allow someone to guide me to a relaxed space.
Short daily meditation practice goes a long way towards your self-care regime of calming the nervous system and constantly reducing the overwhelm.
8. Nature immersion
In Japan, forest therapy is prescribed by the medical fraternity to stressed-out executives. All living things have an energetic vibration. Getting back into nature allows your body to reset its vibration from frayed and stressed out to balanced and grounded, centred and focused.
My brother is a nature photographer and upon his last exhibition, I grabbed some large prints which I can literally sit in front of and stare at for what feels like hours. These are useful for when the weather isn't conducive to going outside. I challenge myself to explore the detail of the landscape he has captured. This focus allows me to detach from the overthinking for a bit. It’s a reprieve.
When the sun does shine I take myself to a local nature reserve and I challenge myself to find twenty green things. Or I find a quiet spot in the sunshine, off the walking track, and sit and listen to how noisy the bush is. The distraction to my senses helps me get rebooted and revitalised. The distraction quietens the noise inside my head, every single time.
9. Read a book
Sometimes immersing yourself into another world like a book for half an hour enables you to escape all of your world problems. Simple detachment from all your drama can subtly allow you to passively detach from your drama and give your nervous system a break.
I have found when my anxiety has been at it’s worst, going old school with an actual book is much better than exposing my body to the blue light of a handheld device to read. The more I can calm my nervous system, the more likely my anxiety symptoms have the opportunity to settle.
10. Grab a cuppa
I found when I used to work at an office, and had those days where I literally ran from one meeting or crisis to another that a quick cuppa break was a godsend. Detaching from the external pace set by others and tuning into yourself and that cup is a great mindset reset strategy.
Your cup. Your drink. Your terms. Your self-care.
The trick with this tip is to make the cup big so it takes a while to empty. Also, don't fill it with a stimulant like coffee (small cups for caffeine only). Try hot water with a slice of lemon juice, or flavoured herbal teas. Again to stimulate all the senses with taste, colour and smell.
The current pandemic dictates that we are now homeschooling and working from home. So regular time outs aren’t just good for you, but you are teaching your children how to self-care, by taking time outs. Our small people observe how well we do life, and then replicate our patterns!
11. Pat a puppy
Pets are very grounding. Since pets don't speak they are a bit like a therapist. You can pour your heart out and they won't judge you. They simply love you unconditionally. Pet therapy is becoming so popular now that they have working therapy dogs in nursing homes and even school classrooms to support small people with anxiety.
Summary
You are only limited by your imagination and depth of your self-care toolbox when it comes to doing battle with overwhelm. Being able to surrender to your inner calm is a gift but also evidence that you trust you have what it takes to get through the moment. It reinforces your belief in self.
Gift yourself the opportunity to experience each of these suggestions, so that if and when the need ever arises, you will know exactly what works for you and how good it will make you feel afterwards.
Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, self-confessed laughaholic, and now Breast Cancer Advocate residing in Gippsland Victoria Australia. She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and Linkedin.