How to Decode Your Failure

Copping with the most important part of success

All of us are subject to failure, professionally, academically, or even emotionally, but the way to deal with failure varies from person to person. There are two types of people according to the way they deal with their failed experiences:

Type I: Does not accept failure and deals with it unhealthily, which results in more failure and disappointment. Type II: Admits its failure, deals with it healthily, and comes out with minimal damage.

Unhealthy patterns of coping with failure include

Denial or failure to acknowledge failure and insistence in error: This usually stems from arrogance. So, failure grows and becomes worse. Surrender and loss of morale: TAt the first blow of wind of failure, the fire of enthusiasm extinguishes, and the soul sinks into the deep of frustration. Excessive sensitivity to failure: This generates self-flagellation with a whim of regret and sorrow. You can see this pattern in some of those who suffer from the mania of perfection.

“Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.”

Robert T. Kiyosaki

Useful tips in dealing with the failure’s cipher:

1- Give yourself the right to fail: No human being can claim immunity from failure, and you are no exception. Forget the whirl of perfection (you are not and never going to be perfect). Even the most successful people do not deny that they have failed because:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”

Robert F. Kennedy

Failure not to fail indicates a lack of experiences and negativity. It is easy for anger and exasperation to arise when you feel a failure.

2- Acknowledge failure when it occurs: Do not blame others. Do not make excuses (because you will find many of them).

“Integrity is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.”

Thomas Jefferson

You will not learn from your mistakes unless you acknowledge them.

3- Allow yourself to be sad when you feel a loss: Certainly, there is something that deserves sadness when you fail. The hopes you built have collapsed. The effort, money, and time you put forth has gone unheeded. So, let the rivers of sadness flow into you and do not clog their paths with dams of pride. If you feel a desire to cry, do not resist. Call those you trust from your family or friends and tell them that failure pain-filled your chest and that sadness blacked your light. They’ll offer their shoulders and give you a warm hug. Do not hesitate to accept and wail from the depth of you. Thus, the rivers of sadness will quickly dry off the banks of your heart, and the sun of your soul will rise again.

4- Take advantage of anger: Do not let it explode inside, smash your confidence or suffocate with negative emotions. On the contrary, let anger burn that blurring covering the mind and insight.

5- Remind yourself of your successes: When we fail in part of our lives, we tend to remember other failure experiences, and forget our previous achievements. The flow of ideas also begins to pull the spirits down and finally bump into the bottoms of depression. To break this vicious, miserable cycle, you must remember your successes and evoke your accomplishments. When you feel frustrated, write a list of your traits and achievements that you cherish. This list reminds you that your failure in a project does not mean you are a failed person.

Successful people know that failure is imperative, so they do not judge you when you fail but rather give you a hand and inspire you for successful solutions.

6- Consider failure as an enrichment experience: Lessons from failure are much more than lessons from success.

Thomas Edison could have given up after 3,000 failed attempts to create the first commercially viable, long-burning incandescent light bulb.

When you fail, you recognize your weaknesses, you start to understand the reality around you, and most importantly, you know yourself more. Sometimes losing a battle teaches you what it takes to win a war. Remember that every stumbling a baby makes, will bring him closer to his first step.

When you go through a failed experiment, do not bury it in the cemetery of oblivion before you understand the reasons for its failure, and develop vaccines that will immunize you in your upcoming experiments. Find the causes of the problem. Ask yourself the following questions:

• What are the reasons that led to this failure?
• What are the negative characteristics that gave rise to these reasons?
• What are the psychological roots that generated these negative characteristics?

You will discover a series of related and interwoven errors, dismantle and treat them. This way, you will be able to find weaknesses and turn them into strengths. Failure will become a tool for self-development.

7- A fresh, powerful start: Winston Churchill defines success as moving from failure to failure without losing your will. Life did not end with that failure. It just started with a purer shape after getting rid of your weaknesses and stuffing your bag with lessons. You will be more challenging, determined to succeed, and more knowledgeable about yourself.

8- Get close to successful people: They are full of experiences and expertise, and little by little, you will be learning how they deal with their problems and failures. Likewise, successful people know that failure is imperative, so they do not judge you when you fail, but rather help and inspire you with successful solutions.

9- Stay away from negative people: They discourage you and increase your feeling of loss. Thus, it is better to avoid them because they have a toxic effect on both the soul and body.

Finally, it is good to always put in mind that failure is just a temporary phase soon will end and leave a punch of lessons behind.