How To Deal With People Who Ignore You: A Reliable Guide
Because you gotta build a safe space for yourself regardless of what’s happening outside.
Do you often think, “What’s the use of going out with friends when no one even notices me?” Are you tired of trying too hard to get attention from the people you admire, only to get disheartened at the end of the day?
If you’ve been into similar situations and don’t know how to deal with people who ignore you, I’ve got you covered.
I’ve prepared this guide based on intense research and experts’ views so that you can take the right steps in such situations.
I’ve also faced something similar with my closest friend, Rahil.
We became friends because of our shared interest in poetry. We attended many poetry events together, often shared our self-composed poems, and loved discussing them for hours.
However, Rahil stopped replying to my texts or calls a few months ago. I gave it some time but then decided to confront him to understand what went wrong. After some resistance, he finally told me that his girlfriend felt insecure, assuming I had a crush on Rahil. This was creating issues between them.
I felt super bad for making his girlfriend insecure unintentionally. I decided to have a heart-to-heart dialogue with her. It turned out that she overheard some gossip about Rahil cheating on her with me. And my poetries in his chatbox made her insecure due to those rumours.
I reassured her that Rahil and I only share a similar interest in poetry, nothing else. I’m glad that we had an open conversation with each other and everything got sorted. It was just a misunderstanding, so this worked out, but it’s not always the case, right?
So, before understanding how to deal with those who constantly ignore you, let’s discuss some common reasons behind it.
Why do people start ignoring you
Everyone loves to spend time with people who share a deeper bond, understanding, or common interests with them. It’s not easy to find a circle where everyone always craves your presence.
But if people never acknowledge your presence or they always tend to ignore you, here are a few possible reasons:
- You don’t participate in conversations or listen to what others have to say
- You often bring up the negative things around unintentionally
- It’s hard for you to believe other people
- You struggle to disagree politely and get offended easily
- You bail out of plans quite often due to your inability to socialize.
It’s hard to notice or accept these traits in your behaviour. Here are a few practical tips to understand yourself better and take the appropriate initiatives:
- Develop communication skills
- Journal to self-reflect and become more self-aware
- Seek professional help from life coaches or mental health experts.
Now, you know what’s stopping you from receiving all the attention you deserve and what you can do about it. But people can start ignoring you suddenly like my friend did in the above story. It can take a toll on your mental and physical health.
Dr Wang confirms the feeling of being ignored hurts people on a deeper level. People on the receiving end can experience a lack of self-esteem and decreased sense of control.
If you’re struggling with something similar, keep reading till the end to understand how to deal with it constructively.
How to Deal With People Who Ignore You on Purpose
Since I know how irritating and humiliating it feels to get ignored, I’ve compiled four research-backed tips to help you deal with those who constantly ignore you.
1. Communicate with them in a private setting
The best thing would be to find out the reason behind their ignorant behaviour. Try talking to them rather than stressing over it based on your assumptions.
Reach out to them in person or on call, if possible. But if they’re not getting on a call with you, ask them to meet once via text message.
Once you meet them, express how their behaviour is affecting you severely. Ask them if some of your past actions pushed them away or if it’s about anything else you did unintentionally. If there’s something wrong, try to find a mutual solution.
Keep the communication solution-oriented and respectful. This step would help you eliminate misunderstandings and most probably patch things up.
Avoid accusing them during the conversation. Always use “I” statements to express how it makes you feel when they ignore you. Rachel Pace, an expert relationship blogger also suggested the same in her recent article.
Pro tip: Meet them in a distraction-free place where you both can comfortably talk.
2. Protect your self-esteem by prioritizing yourself
It hurts when someone you admire doesn’t value you, but it’s not your responsibility to please everyone to seek their attention. If someone constantly ignores you, don’t make them the centre of your life.
Prioritize yourself by doing things that make you happy instead of seeking other people’s validation. Focus on people who love you and treat you as an equal.
Respect other people’s time and space, and do the same for yourself. It’s also important to pamper yourself and engage in self-care in such cases, suggests Dr Marisa Franco, a friendship expert.
3. Set healthy boundaries for people who ignore you
Save yourself from toxic people who ignore you only to make you feel miserable. Express your needs clearly in a relationship and let your friends or other loved ones know if something bothers you.
Layout limits for tolerating other people’s behaviours while setting healthy boundaries for yourself recommends consultant psychiatrist Dr Tilwe.
This helps you avoid all the heartache and complications you might feel if you let other people’s actions manipulate you. If they know their behaviour is bothering you and they still choose to ignore it, that person won’t deserve your time and energy.
4. Choose to let them go
If you’ve tried expressing yourself, listened to them, and waited enough for them, but nothing has changed, let it be. Stop chasing them or taking their actions personally.
Accept them as they’re and move on in your life. Don’t play mind games to teach them a lesson. It’s not your duty to make them realize what they’re doing is wrong.
Choose not to focus on them. Learn to say goodbye to someone who ignores you because it’s a sign that they’re not a perfect fit for you. Find people who appreciate and value you for what you are.
Wrapping up
You deserve love, care, appreciation, and understanding. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s not your fault if someone ignores you on purpose.
Focus on yourself and the people who want you in their life. Remember you’re never alone in your journey.
Here’s a quick summary to help you understand how to deal with people who ignore you:
- Communicate with them in a private setting
- Protect your self-esteem by prioritizing yourself
- Set healthy boundaries for people who ignore you
- Choose to let things go
If this has helped you in any way let me know in the comments. I’ll keep bringing more valuable tips for you.
Keep loving yourself, and don’t let anyone take away your uniqueness.
