How to Cut Out Toxic People from Your Life

You deserve positive influence, not constant negativity

No one wants to surround themselves with negative influence. Unfortunately, almost every single individual stumbles upon toxic people regularly. Keeping those around can have long-term negative effects on our physical and mental health. There are countless benefits of having good friends and supporting the loved ones — those who actually lift you. But there is nothing beneficial when it comes to toxicity: all it brings is stress and misery.

It’s not always easy to remove yourself from a bad situation. But we can certainly choose who we spend our time with. We all deserve to be around nice human beings, as opposed to those who are damaging our mental health and trying to bring us down. Let’s talk about how we can “delete” people like that from our lives.

Admit There is a Problem

No matter how long you might convince yourself, everything is fine, at some point, your intuition starts screaming bloody murder. Pretending you feel all right after each interaction with someone who is spreading toxicity isn’t going to do anything good for you. In fact, the longer you nurture that relationship, see more emotional damage it’s causing your health.

The first step is to sit down, evaluate the situation and compartmentalize. Decide where that toxic person fits into the equation, where do you stand, and what kind of contribution they provide. If most of those interactions make you feel unhappy and miserable — it’s probably time to admit that person is not right for you.

We often have more than one individual like that in our immediate circle. They can be occupying just one space or several. You may have an extremely hostile neighbor while interacting with another toxic person at work. Regardless of how many people like that are in your life, you need to point out their demeaning attitude. The first step to resolving the problem is admitting there is one.

We all deserve to be around nice human beings, as opposed to those who are damaging our mental health and trying to bring us down.

Don’t Try Talking to Them

Sometimes, talking to a toxic person can be an option. In case you have never brought up their negativity, you might want to discuss it with them first. But, unfortunately, most of the time, they either refuse to admit their behavior is terrible; or say they’ll consider it, yet things never change.

If you were at a place when you identified a toxic person as such, you have probably attempted to talk to them already. It’s also highly probable their behavior has been evident to you for a long time. So, discussing the issues and having an open channel of communication is always a fantastic idea. But you have probably tried that, it wasn’t fruitful, and you are most likely at a point of saying: “I’ve had enough.”

Distance Yourself

The best idea is to create a distance. Quitting cold turkey may not work out, as the other side will notice the change. You should gradually minimize the interactions, until the point of barely seeing them. This may be classified as hypocritical or invasive, but as far as I’m concerned, is signifies making healthy choices. The toxicity made it into your life a while ago, and there is no reason to entertain that behavior anymore.

You might miss that person, in case the relationship was close. Cutting out long-term friends and former romantic partners presents the most difficulties. When you have known someone for a significant period, or if there was an intensely close connection, the withdrawal can hit you hard. That is precisely the reason why minimizing the relationship slowly is much better than radically ending it in a heartbeat.

You need to allow yourself time to adjust to not having them in your life anymore. If you wish to see them once in a blue moon — that is fine, but only as long as it benefits you and you’re not going to rekindle.

Remember: you need to take care of yourself, and sometimes that requires making hard decisions.

When Distancing is an Issue

Depending on your life circumstances, minimizing the relationship can present a significant challenge. For example, if you work with a toxic individual, not seeing them is not feasible. You might even be in a position of sitting close to them — in that case; it’s quite a complication.

But, you can still do your absolute best to bring the connection down to the minimum. Use the headphones to pretend you cannot talk to them, take your lunch without them, have sudden plans come up if they want to hang out on the weekend! There are many ways and a countless number of excuses you can come up with. Remember: you need to take care of yourself, and sometimes that requires making hard decisions.

If the source of toxicity happens to be a family member, that’s a problem. If you have to share custody of a child, or your sibling is toxic, or something of that nature — it’s much more complicated. Having that said, there are ways to work around it. Don’t spend too much time at home if a family member of yours is always around. If you need to be at home for whatever reason, ensure to hide in your room more often and avoid contact. You might also want to consider moving out. Finding the financial means and the courage to do so can be extremely difficult, but by the end of the day, it’s your health that’s on the line. You may have to make some hard decisions in order to protect your mental health and save your nervous system from a meltdown.

You may have to make some hard decisions in order to protect your mental health and save your nervous system from a meltdown.

Stay Away Even if They Want You Back

When you stop spending time with someone, they usually notice it. They may start to grab your attention extra hard. Maybe, they will call you more often than usual. They may schedule plans more often and can use everything at their disposal to save the relationship.

There is a good chance the toxic people may confront you. It’s your choice, if you would like to have an honest and open conversation with them, or if you’re not ready for that. In my opinion, it’s good to rip the band-aid off, but you need to move at your own pace. The best-case scenario — they will understand what you’re doing and let you go. The worst-case scenario is they start a fight, spread more toxicity, and then try to get the friendship back.

If you have decided to get rid of that influence, you need to stay strong. Having a sound support system means a lot, as you can direct your attention to your other relationships. If you don’t have support — try to make new friends and build new connections. By the end of the day, it’s better to have one good friend than two toxic ones around.

By the end of the day, it’s better to have one good friend than two toxic ones around.

Enjoy Life and Be Happy Without Them

Getting rid of the negative influence is life-changing. You may not even realize how one toxic individual affects your entire world in an extremely negative manner. Once you cut that person out of your circle, the difference can be as night and day.

It’s time to let go and be happy. Enjoy your life without them: without the constant negative influence, endless misery, and pessimistic behavior. You deserve much better than spending your time and energy on someone bringing you down. Surround yourself with good people who will bring you joy, support and authentic human connections.